so tell me what you want...

Ok, so my patience with TB lasted for a day. And now I’m done. I tried talking to him, and he was all pouty and nonresponsive, and I’m just over it. I mean, I’m trying to be patient. I’m trying to be nice. I understand he’s stressed out. But, come on! You’re a freaking Marine! If this is how you handle stress, then I kind of see why you haven’t been deployed more. “Come on, Taliban, I’m really stressed out and had a bad day. I can’t handle you today. I need a few days to think about things.” Yikes. So, today I politely asked him if he knew when he’d be ready to talk. He blah blah blahed via text. I told him basically to f-off. Well, not basically. That’s actually what I said. So then he finally wrote back that fine, he’d talk to me tomorrow, but he already said everything he wanted to say and that’s that. I read that, and then I felt this strange feeling inside me. It was something strong and firm. And it was strange. It took me a minute to figure it out, but I finally realized what it was- a backbone! How dare he act like he’s doing me a favor because I think we should talk on the phone and not merely via text and email to break up after a serious relationship where we were talking about marriage and stuff. Who the hell does he think he is?? So, I responded that it was ok, I’d rather just start the moving on process tonight and if he felt like he’d said everything already, then there was nothing left. He responded “okay”. Which, a) is a weird answer to end a relationship on, and b) just seemed weird spelled out completely. “okay” not “ok” or “k” but completely spelled out. Odd. Anyway, I wasn’t going to respond. I was going to let it go at that. But, then the smart ass in me came out and I responded. “I’m sorry that I wasn’t enough for you. Good luck finding whatever it is that you’re after.” What I meant by that was “I’m sorry that a smart, attractive lawyer who comes from a good family, has no baggage and was faithful and loved you more than anyone else ever had wasn’t good enough for you.” I mean, I know that I’m being a tad bit cocky right now, but seriously?? I think he has no idea what he wants. And, I’m not going to sit around and hope that he figures it out. I thought I could, but I’m not a patient girl. I thought I was. But, he wouldn’t even talk to me. And, if he handles problems by running, then that’s not good. I need someone who I can rely on, not someone who I’m constantly worried is going to pick up and run at the slightest problem or stress. Life is stressful. Life with me is extremely stressful. I need a man who can handle that. And, if that’s not him, then oh well. Next. Now, do I hope that he realizes that he screwed up and comes back to me? Of course I do. I’ve already pictured him at my front door after an all night flight with flowers and chocolates. But, I know that won’t happen. I don’t foresee him coming back. I think he’s too screwed up in the head for that. I really do wish him well. I don’t hate him. It just didn’t work out. It’s just one of those things I guess. I just need to focus on the bar anyway. And, eventually a great guy who realizes that he can’t let me go will come around. Until then, it’s time that I protect myself and don’t sit around quietly while boys treat me like crap. Man, I’m so girl power right now! I need to listen to the Spice Girls or something! So, tell me what you want, what you really, really want!