Long update

This week has been eventful. Lots of time devoted to school. Or, spent at school and on school-type activities. I almost sold out this week. Well, I may still sell out, we’ll see. Let me explain. I want to be a Prosecutor. I want to put away the bad guys. Despite the fact that it won’t pay a huge salary, I want to work for the government on the side of justice and fairness. I want to instill justice and fairness on the part of the government. I want to work with cops helping to validate the hard work they do, but convicting the guys they catch. I want to keep the streets safe for you and yours and me and mine. That being said, I had an interview with a criminal defense attorney. Not only is he a defense attorney, but he specializes in sex cases and child molestation. Those are the people I want to put away the most. I want stricter punishments for sex offenders. I want to lock them up and throw away the key. I want to tell other inmates that they are sex offenders and then lock them up and throw away the key. How can I defend them?? I understand the theory that everyone is entitled to due process and blah blah blah. I just don’t think I can do this job. It’s the one time I’ve ever had an interview and thought the whole time “I really hope I don’t get this job!” Well, as if the universe heard my inner struggle and wanted to reward me for all of my hard work, the Riverside DA’s office called me to schedule a second interview!!! I can’t even believe it! I literally almost jumped for joy! I will be meeting the DA himself and interviewing for a post-bar clerkship which will turn into a deputy DA job after I pass the bar. Oh man that’s exciting! I’ll be putting away the bad guys! The interview isn’t for a couple weeks, so I have plenty of time to calm down and prepare. Center myself. Work out this nervous energy.

Speaking of working out, things are getting weird with Personal Trainer. Not weird weird. But like..I’m making them weird. Apparently he really likes me. I had to remind him that we’ve only known each other for a week. Today it’s been a week. But, he already wants to be my boyfriend. He keeps referring to himself as “my boy” and saying that I’m “his girl.” He’s super nice. And he’s a genuinely nice guy. And he’s real good looking. I don’t know what’s holding me back. We hung out last night after this all day event at school. I was super tired. He promised that he didn’t mind if I fell asleep on my couch while he watched the Lakers game. He lied. He kept talking the whole time he was here. I finally had to kick him out at 11 so I could crash out. We had this kind of awkward talk where I told him that I just want to get to know him and see what happens. I usually rush into things, so I’m trying to be a little more mellow. ATC really bummed me out, so I’m trying to do things differently. I rushed into getting attached to him, and then he pulled the rug out from under me. I’m going to try to not let that happen again. Plus, with Personal Trainer, we have that whole “I’m paying him to be my personal trainer” thing going. I told him I don’t want to end up on People’s Court “I paid him for a whole month’s worth of sessions, but he won’t train me now!” He promised that wouldn’t happen. But, he said that he was fine with me working things out on my own time. He knows I’m talking to other guys and doing my thing. He said he was ok with that, and that he wouldn’t pressure me into anything. Of course, then his cockiness came out and said that he was the best thing out there and that I’d figure that out soon enough. Maybe I like the thrill of the chase. Or, maybe if a guy keeps telling me how hot I am, or that he thinks I’m the perfect girl, I think there’s something wrong with him and don’t want him. Do I need therapy? Dang! I just don’t want anything awkward to happen with Personal Trainer, so I need to just keep it super casual with him and just see what happens. It’s just hard to keep something casual when he texts me all the time and calls me every morning and does everything he should do if we’re dating. Why is it that when I’m trying to keep things casual, the guy wants more. And when I want more, the guy assumes a new identity in witness protection and goes into hiding?

In other news, I spoke to two different guys from eharmony this week. One guy was kind of weird. He seemed nice enough, but I know from talking to him that I’m not digging him. The weird thing is that he then called me the next morning just to say hi. Didn’t I just talk to you like 13 hours ago? We don’t actually know each other, guy. That’s just weird. And awkward. Do some guys just not get that whole “Coming on too strong” thing? If he calls again, I’m going to avoid him and hope he gets the hint. The other guy, Lance Armstrong, called me today and is actually pretty cool. I call him Lance Armstrong, because he races bikes like Lance Armstrong. Not because he has testicular cancer, like It Boy guessed. There’s even a picture of him on eharmony in his racing gear (read: spandex shorts). He’s actually pretty nice. And his emails are super funny. Like, the kind of funny that makes me look forward to receiving his emails, and I hope he’ll still email me, even though we have reached the phone call level. Not that he wasn’t funny on the phone. I just really liked his emails. We chatted for a while today, which was a very nice study break. He didn’t mention hanging out, but said he’d call me again. We’ll see. He’s from Nebraska, so I tend to trust him. Those Midwestern boys are good boys. Adopted Brother #1 is a good Midwestern boy from Iowa, and he’s not a player. Um…yeah…. The stories I could tell about that kid! I was his roll dog a couple times this summer. When my brother was crashed out, I’d go with AB1 up the street to one of the bars, and try to find girls for him. Usually the nights ended with us stumbling home with random stories about the weird people we met (i.e. gangsters from Corona, boys in dresses, drunk girl having drama because a bunch of different guys she was hooking up with were in the same bar, etc.) I wanted to be a good wingman for AB1 in lieu of my brother, but failed miserably. Sorry AB1, I tried. Anyway, we’ll see if Lance Armstrong calls again and actually asks me out this time. He may be pretty fun to hang out with. Then there’s the guy with the mentally handicapped brother. He resurfaced a few days ago after a week or so of being incommunicado. Apparently he’s in Orlando with his brother and sister and his sister’s kids. That’s cute. I understand the lure of Mickey and can forgive him. Oh, and a new guy emailed me questions today. He is SUPER good looking. I don’t know that I even read his profile. I looked at his pictures, said “yes please” and then responded to his questions. He emailed me back right away, and we went through the first couple stages within an hour. If things go as planned, I’ll be engaged to him in 2 weeks. The taking things slow plan has slight exceptions for really, really beautiful men who used to be in the military. Guess I didn’t learn much from my time with ATC. Oh well.

And yes, the time stamp on this is correct: I stayed home on Halloween. I just wasn’t feeling it this year. I am so tired from this week. And the thought of dressing up and going to a bar just wasn’t doing it for me. And with finals coming up so soon…I decided to make the responsible decision of staying in. Plus, my bestest estest is coming to LA from London in less than a month, so I need to have time to see her, which means being better prepared for finals early on. She’s going to have an enormous belly as she’s “with child.” I can’t believe I’m about to be an auntie!! This is my last opportunity to have girl time with my bestest estest before she’s a mom. That’s just insane. So, I stayed in and outlined. It Girl came over and studied with me. We stocked up on junk food and pizza and hit the books. Hey, we still wanted to celebrate Halloween in some way. And now that we have a trainer, it’s ok if we eat junk food on Halloween. When Personal Trainer texted me from a party, I fessed up to the junk food. He made me promise to work out tomorrow, but he’s drunk now and won’t remember that tomorrow. And, I think promises made with intoxicated aren’t binding. I’ll probably hit the gym regardless. Probably. Maybe. Slight chance. Maybe. It does beg the questions: if I’m the laziest person in the world, why do I keep meeting these really active people who are passionate about working out, and why do they like me?? Maybe the universe is trying to tell me something. I just can’t always listen to the universe. Right?

Tuesday night date

I had a date on Tuesday night. I almost canceled on Tuesday afternoon. I just wasn’t feeling it, and honestly would have rather just gone home and hung out in my pjs. But, It Girl wouldn’t let me cancel. So, I threw on a dress and boots, and actually put on some make-up, and went. It’s weird going on a date where I actually had to worry about what I wore. The last few have been so casual. But, I guess it’s an excuse to wear a dress, and I often don’t find excuses. I met the dude at this fancy place. Well, back-up. He called me Monday night to confirm. I was with It Girl when I got his message. As I called him back, the TV was on, and an eharmony commercial was playing. I was saying how funny it was to have that on in the background when I was calling. So when he answered, I was laughing and really happy sounding. He must have thought I was just so happy to be talking to him. Um…sure. Back to Tuesday. So I show up at the place at 7:45, which is when we were supposed to meet. At 7:47 I texted him, cause I didn’t see him inside. Just wanted to let him know I was there and waiting outside, in case I missed him inside. I felt like it was slightly less awkward to meet out front. I’m waiting outside, and up walks this real short guy. Ok, he wasn’t like super short, but I SWEAR he was shorter than me! And I’m only 5’3 and a half! He said he was 5’8. Liar! We walk in to the place. I see him check me out, which is awkward. I’m walking in front of him to the table. Seated at a big round table is a group of businessmen. One of those guys was so incredibly good looking! We locked eyes for a few seconds and he smiled at me. It may have been the best eye contact I’ve ever made with a guy, and it was wasted! I wondered what the protocol for hitting on a guy while you’re on a date with another was. But, I figured that’s probably bad form and decided to just ignore it. We sit down at the table and he asks if I want an appetizer. I was leaning toward no, as that would just add time, and I already knew I wasn’t feeling shorty. But, he decided he wanted to order oysters and caviar. Who the heck is he trying to impress?? So, he orders a bottle of wine and the appetizer. It was ok, since I’ve never had oysters OR caviar. It’s on him, so why not? For my main course I ordered this amazing salmon. Then, I casually mentioned how I was so full I couldn’t even finish my meal. Yeah, that went unnoticed cause shrimpy ordered dessert! That was good too, of course, because this restaurant was just amazing! 52 courses and TWO HOURS later we were finally done! He asked if I wanted to go grab a drink somewhere. I channeled my best inner d-bag and said “I would love to, but I have a meeting at school at 8. Raincheck?” Yeah, there’s no way I’ll actually catch that check, but what else was I going to say? I feel bad. The guy was real nice. But, there was no love connection. For starters, when I brought up my love of Family Guy, he commented that he didn’t watch cartoons because they were “juvenile”. And that was during appetizers! Check please. He talked about his boat. A lot. Yeah dude, I get it. You have a boat. You’re still short! And not cool! And hate Family Guy! The waitress was flirting with him a lot. It was actually pretty funny. I told him that he should leave his number for the waitress. Or that I could step away and he could talk to her. It’s a bad sign when your date suggests you hit on the waitress. After creating an excuse to not prolong this disaster, I went home and called the Personal Trainer. He came over for the post-date debrief. We drank some wine and hung out for a while. He’s really easy to be around. Really nice and down to earth. Oh, and he watched Family Guy with me, so he’s already 50 points ahead of half-pint.

Personal training

I started with a personal trainer today. He KICKED my ass! I could barely do half of the things he wanted me to do what. “You want me to stand on what and lift my leg how many times? Yeah, I think I’ll go take a water break instead.” He’d tell me to do 25 of something, and I’d just guesstimate how many I’d done. I think that’s been about 17, I’d tell him. He’d say it was really only 4. If he wasn’t watching, I’d cheat. There aren’t many situations in which I’ll cheat. In a relationship? Nope. In class? No way. My friends out of money? They don’t have any. At monopoly when I’m the banker? Um, yes, I definitely cheat. At the gym when I’m supposed to do a certain number of things? Of course! I think on the moral scale of life, those are ok things to cheat at. And, if I’m ever the banker in Monopoly, I put the disclaimer out there ahead of time that I cheat. I think it’s called embezzling. I call it payment for my services as banker. It’s the added stress of having to manage my own money AND the banks money. I definitely deserve a salary for that. But, I digress. Back to the trainer. I met him on Saturday at the USC game. Turns out he lives in my apartment complex. He’s a super adorable guy with a ton of energy. I called him and told him I wanted to start. I’m beginning to wonder why I did that. But, I did, so we’re where we’re at. It Girl came with me. I think we’re going to do it together, which is good, cause then I’ll actually do it. Then again, the Personal Trainer knows where I live and said he’d come drag me there if he has to. Good thing there’s a peep hole in my door. “Single Girl no is home. Go away” I’ll say if I see him. If I fake an accent, he’ll fall for it. Who wouldn't? It's not like he has a key. (My mom had better not give him a key so he can come in and forcibly remove me to the gym) But, It Girl and I are bound and determined to get into shape. We’re going to look like cheerleaders in no time. We’re going to see him 2 days a week. He promised to get us sweet asses and killer bodies. That sounds lethally delicious. He gave us a pretty good friends and family discount, but of course I tried to barter for an even better deal. No dice. I even said I'd clean his apartment for him. I guess he'd already heard that I'm the world's worst cleaner. But for free training, I'm sure I could scrub a toilet or vacuum a carpet. He wants me to cut out the diet soda from my life. I don’t think I can. I’m addicted. We’ll see. I wanted to drive to the gym, just cause I thought it’d be funny to drive literally across the street. They both said no. Next time I might do it just to amuse myself. We’ll see how this all goes. My laziness is pretty strong and commanding. It's going to be duking it out with my desire to get into better shape. It Girl will be happy that I didn’t mention the fact that she puked during the workout. Oops. If anyone in the Newport/Costa Mesa area needs a good trainer, I highly recommend him. And I’m not just saying that because I’ll get a referral fee (though, that is a large reason why I’m saying it). If nothing else, I’ve made a cool new friend who has enough energy for the both of us. I’m sure we’ll hang out, seeing as how he’s my neighbor. It’s a beautiful day in the neighborhood. But I’m sore as hell.

wedding dress shopping

I went wedding dress shopping with It Girl, Little Sister and Mrs. Newlywed today. Well, we went bridesmaid shopping for Little Sister, but Mrs. Newlywed and I got sidetracked picking out my wedding dress. (We kept getting yelled at or getting distracted, but it's hard not to! I'm like a cat who is easily distracted by shiny things.) I think it’s perfectly natural to find the dress before you find the man. The dress is more important anyway, right? It’s funny: I’m normally a pretty laid back and casual dresser. I don’t really dress too flashy on a daily basis. I'm a self-proclaimed jeans and t-shirt kinda gal. I love a good pair of tennis shoes. Every now and then I do like a good sparkle for a special occasion. All of my dresses for dances in high school had sparkles or rhinestones on them. When I worked at Ed Debevic’s, my characters name was Sparkle and I wore really sparkly tights. Really sparkly. I think my law prom dresses have both been sparkly. I think I just like to shine when it’s a fancy occasion. So, of course I was drawn to the dresses with lots and lots of rhinestones and sparkliness. Mrs. Newlywed tried to show me one dress that was extremely elegant. But, it was plain. Not a sparkle or piece of lace anywhere. Next. There are so many beautiful dresses out there! I don’t even know how I’ll choose when the time comes. I think today is the first time I’ve ever been in a Bridal Boutique. I wasn’t able to go with my bestest estest friend when she got married, cause she flew over to New York from London (where she lives) to buy a dress. I would have been a blubbering mess! Today, there was a girl who I didn’t even know trying on a dress in one of the boutiques. She looked so beautiful that I got teary! Her mom was crying and they thought it was funny that I was getting a little misty eyed. I was just so happy for her. I think it’s definitely possible to be completely happy for a total stranger. Mrs. Newlywed and I convinced her that that was the dress. We should have earned a commission! There were so many beautiful brides there. I think I’m going to drop out of law school and work at a bride store. How happy would that be?? I’d just cry all the time probably. Happy tears are a good thing though! Or so I tell myself. I didn’t actually try any dresses on. I’m not THAT crazy. I’ll save that for next time. It Girl was the fashion model for the dresses. She tried on a couple different ones. I learned that I’m really tacky. That’s what I took from the experience. She tried on this one dress that was long and yellow and chiffon. It had an embroidered part on the top that was slightly bedazzled or something. And I thought it was pretty. They all thought it was tacky. So, I said “Oh yeah…that’s what I thought too….totally tacky!” I guess I just blew my cover by admitting it on here. Oops. I thought it was pretty. What of it?! We didn’t find any dresses today, but it was a fun adventure. We also learned that many bridal salons are closed on Sundays. That seems like a weird statement of our society: that brides don’t work during the week, so they have time to go to the bridal store to try on dresses, but spend all day in church on Sundays. I’m all for going to church on Sundays if that’s your thing. But, I’m not taking a day off of work to try on a wedding dress that I need the job to afford in the first place. Dresses are SO expensive!! All the ones I like were like 3,000 plus! Do I get bars of gold with that? It’s a dress! Guess I’m getting married in jeans and a tank top.

This weekend

I had a very eventful dating weekend. I didn’t find my dream man, but it was good times nonetheless. On Friday, #1 was supposed to call after his conference call. No call. You mean, a guy didn’t call when he said he would?! Shocker, I know. I went over to It Couple’s house and we ordered in sushi. It was so good! I have been craving sushi something fierce lately, so it was nice to have my fix. We bought pumpkins to carve also. #1 finally texted and asked if we were still carving pumpkins. I responded that we were and that he was welcome to come join us. He actually did. A little while later, he came over to their house. It was kind of awkward at first. We hadn’t even had a phone conversation, but now we were hanging out with my best friends. I didn’t feel the connection with him, but maybe because it was awkward. He was really good looking, and definitely the body type I go for (about 5’10 and pretty thin). And he was wearing a sweater vest! I love a good sweater vest! He was really smart and tried to convince me all night to go into corporate law. We had some really good conversations and, as It Girl said, he did a real good job of focusing on me, even though the other 2 were there. He even defended my really crappy pumpkin that the others made fun of. He left after a couple hours and said that he hoped to see me again soon. With a hug, he left. It was pretty cute. He texted me an hour later and said he had a really great time and he couldn’t wait to hang out again and to have fun tailgating the next day. I thought that was cute too. I’m not sure if the chemistry was there, but I’ll hang out again if he asks. Attention from a cute boy is never a bad thing, even if there’s no spark.

On Saturday, I spent all day at USC. Literally all day. I got there at 10am. The game was at 5. It was a really fun tailgate. I hung out with my parents and then everybody showed up. One of the families has a son who lives near me and I am kind of friends with. He brought a guy with him who lives in my apartment complex and is a personal trainer. He has a gym literally across the street from me. He said he’s going to be my new personal trainer and he’s going to get me a killer body. He wants to take me grocery shopping and throw away all of my bad food. Maybe I’ll hide my chocolate when he comes over. He can put me on a diet, I just don’t know if I’ll stick to it. He was really nice and full of energy though. I guess that’s good in a personal trainer. My buddy who came to the game with me showed up a little later. He’s a really, really good guy. He has a girlfriend who I don’t think deserves him. I think he can do better. But, I’m real protective of all of my friends. I just think the world of this guy. My parents were saying that I should date him, but that just wouldn’t work. I love him as a friend, but there would be way too many issues with us ever dating. Even if he didn’t have a girlfriend. Of course, my parents also said that I should date one of my brother’s buddies, so I think they’ve been hitting the crack pipe. Yes, his buddy is awesome, but I’m so not his type of girl. I don’t drink enough beer. And, he’s one of my brother’s best friends, so I can’t imagine he’d be stoked on the idea. The buddy is a good guy. One of the best actually. One of those guys that you just love being around, cause you never know what will happen. I hope he does find a good girl. I have to approve of her though. And, that’ll be hard, cause I don’t think very many girls are good enough for my brother or any of his friends. Oh, but the icing on the cake is that like 4 people told me how good I looked yesterday. One of my dad’s friends said I looked like a total babe (not in a creepy way). He said that whatever I was doing, I should keep it up. I think I just brushed my hair for the game. Go me.

So, I left the game early and came back down to the OC to meet It Girl for the movie Paranormal Activity. #2 from eharmony met us. (He’s the one with the brain tumor) I was really excited to meet him. We chatted on the phone earlier that day and he’s really nice. He met us at the theater. He was really nice in person. But, I knew right away I wasn’t attracted to him. But how do you tell a guy who’s been through so much and has such a positive outlook that you’re not into him? We watched the movie and after I kind of rushed through an awkward goodbye. He texted me this morning saying how much fun he had. (Seems to be a common theme that guys text to say they had fun. But, I dig that, so it’s all good.) He knew that I had plans for a waffle brunch, so he said he hoped it was good and that he was jealous he wasn’t there. I think he was hoping I would invite him. He then texted me a few hours later and asked what I was up to and if I wanted to hang out. I decided to be straight forward. “I don’t want to lead you on…I don’t feel a romantic connection. But I do hope we can be friends!!” I know that’s harsh, but what else was I to say? I didn’t want to just not respond. He is the nicest guy. I just know that I don’t want to date him. I would actually love to be friends with him! He would just be such a nice person to have around in a friendship capacity. He wrote me back that he was just really shy at first, but that he would still like to be friends. That’s good. I really do hope that we can remain in contact and stuff. And, if he ever needed a ride to chemo, I would take him. He said that most times he just takes himself. How sad is that? I wish I could be attracted to him, cause he’s adorably nice. But, nope.

I didn’t play on eharmony at all yesterday. Today I came on and 3 guys that I really think are cool emailed me. The guy with the curly hair emailed me a really, really cute email. I’m really excited to meet him now! He’s super good looking, and seems really nice. And he thinks I’m funny, so that’s a plus. A lot to live up to though. I’ll have to work on my witticisms. He’s from Connecticut. I think I dig East Coast guys. And he has a masters in economics, so he’s real smart. Can you tell I’m excited to meet him? One of my girlfriends said that she could never date a guy with curly hair because it makes her think of pubes. I don’t think I’ll have that problem. He’s adorable! The other 2 are cool too. One is the good looking brotha, but he’s 35. That may be a tad old for me, because I’m super immature. And one is a guy from Chicago who is working on 2 masters degree and has a BA in engineering. Smartie. He also seems hilarious. A few other guys I’m communicating with. But, right now I’m most excited about the curly haired guy. I would cancel on the Tuesday night guy for Mr. Curly Hair. That’s mean, but it’s true. He’s cute enough that I would give up a free fancy dinner. That cute.

I have a date

So, I have a date on Tuesday night. It’s not even with any of the guys I already mentioned. This is some random guy I just started talking to today. We made it through all the stages pretty quick. This guy is pretty straight forward and matter of fact. This was his email:

“Subject: Hi
Message: So I think we broke the record for getting to this point - while we aren't wasting any time, what are you up to this weekend? Up for a date? - I am free Sat during the day and anytime Sunday. Look forward to hearing from you.”

Very straight to the point. I told him that I’m busy all day Saturday with the USC game and busy on Sunday. Ok, I’m not really busy on Sunday. I’m just holding out for #1 or #2 to hang out with them. #2 said that he wants to hang out, unless I’m uncomfortable, in which case we can continue emailing and talking on the phone. Kind of sweet! Very thoughtful! I told him that I think he seems really interesting and would really like to meet up with him. As for the email guy above, I told him I’m free on Tuesday or Wednesday night. He wrote back “Tuesday it is. Such and such restaurant in CDM at 7:30.” I looked up the place and it’s a pretty fancy looking restaurant. I know this is going to be weird, but I think it’s kind of a turn off when a guy wants to take me to a fancy place on a first date. I’m not a fancy girl, and now I’m going to be more stressed out about going to a fancy place and being a fancy girl than I will on having fun with the guy. I’d much rather that a first date be at a divey bar for a beer, or like a video arcade or something. Even a movie. Can I order a Coors Light at a fancy place? My first date with ATC was perfect! I got to wear tennis shoes and drink Coors Light. And he gave me a pumpkin. I doubt this guy will bring me a pumpkin. Now I’m going to have to drink some frilly girly drink. This whole relationship is just doomed to fail. Is it too late to cancel the match? Kidding. I’ll suck it up and put on my fancy girl shoes. I’m excited. No. Really. I’m excited.

Eharmony update

Eharmony is kind of exciting. It sends me boys to judge. I can start communicating or reject. I feel bad rejecting people. But, I guess it’s what has to happen. It doesn’t happen very often to me, of course. (Enter exaggerated eye roll here) I’ve had a few rejections so far. A guy I sent opening questions to canceled the connection. I find myself justifying why I didn’t want to talk to him anyway. “You’re too tall anyway” or “You’re too old/young” or “Your abs were too sculpted and your face too beautiful and your grammar was too perfect anyway.” I have so many “open communications” that the few who have closed on me really shouldn’t matter. But of course every "closed match" stings a little. Unless he was nerdy. Then I am actually relieved that I didn't have to be the jerk who rejected him. I'll probably end up marrying some fat, boring guy just because I'd feel too bad hurting his feelings by telling him no. I am talking to a few really cool people. I’m in the beginning stages with a few guys, but have made it to the “open communication” stage with a couple. So far I’m really interested in a few guys. One I gave my number to today and we exchanged some cute texts back and forth. He’s super smart and witty. He keeps me on my toes with jokes, which is actually kind of tiring. He’s already called me “silly billy” and other sort of goofy things, which I find incredibly endearing. (Remember, I’m the one who LOVED the randomness of the pumpkin which ATC brought me. I like guys who are original and silly.) He’s supposed to call me in a few hours, so that’s kind of exciting! He wants to hang out this weekend. The second guy is kind of adorable. He was It Girl’s pick. I don’t know that I would have emailed him at first, but I’m really glad I did. He has this amazing attitude on life and is super positive, even though he has been through some pretty intense medical issues (read: he has a brain tumor!). I think we’ve been bonding over the struggling through life’s obstacles and keeping a positive outlook on life. He’s super confident, and wants to hang out this weekend. I will definitely make time for him, even though this weekend is kind of busy. Number 3 is physically the most attractive I think. He has this really cute curly hair. And he seems like a really good guy and very family oriented. He talks to his family every day, which is a plus. I am really close with my friends and family, so it’s attractive when a guy is the same way. This guys has a really good heart, so I’m excited to meet him. Number 4 is It Girl’s other choice. He had a picture of him in a green apron with a clover on it which read “I’ll shamrock your world.” She couldn’t stop laughing and made me email him back. He’s physically not my type, but he has a really kind face (in the pictures) and seems to be pretty funny, intelligent and articulate. I’ll hang out with him if he asks. I haven’t heard from the guy with the mentally handicapped brother (We’ll call him number 5) in about 2 days. Eharmony tells me to be patient if I don’t hear right back from someone. But, I’m not a patient person. I guess I wouldn’t have time for him this weekend anyway, so maybe it’s an ok thing I haven’t heard from him again. Number 6 is a really good looking brotha who is 35. We’re still in the answering questions stage, but he seems pretty cool. I’d get to know him for sure. I think that’s everyone who warrants mention at this point. I’m in the answering questions stage with a few other guys, but they haven’t piqued my interest like these guys.

In other news, last night It Girl and I did the Dallas Cowboys Cheerleader workout dvd. It kicked my ass! Here I was thinking it’d be kind of tough. But no, it was intense and today I am SUPER sore. I love being sore after a workout though. It just means I actually did something. I think it turned into Bikram style Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader workout, in that, my apartment gets so hot and stuffy. I was so sweaty by the end! I think I wet my carpet with sweat. Ok, that’s a really gross visual. It wasn’t that bad. (Or was it?) The video had a few of the cheerleaders doing exercises that this drill sergeant military guy was telling them to do. He’d tell them what to do and then say “in cadence” and then like good little robots they’d respond “in cadence” which was kind of odd. The video was pretty awesome, and I actually went onto Amazon after and bought a copy. (The one I got was from Netflix, so I guess I have to return it eventually. It was only 12 bucks on Amazon. Such a great deal for this wonderfully crafted dvd!) Maybe workout dvds are cheesy, but the drill sergeant is the buffest guys I’ve ever seen, and the girls all had sick bodies! So, if this is what it takes, then so be it. In cadence.

eharmony

Ok, so, I’m a glutton for punishment. I’ve signed up for eharmony. Ok, here’s the thing:
a) why not?
b) it should make for some funny stories.
c) I got a email from them giving me a pretty cool discount and had an extra 20 bucks.

Ok, the real reason is that I found out ATC is dating someone and it bummed me out and I need to move on. I hadn’t really thought we’d get back together, but I’d kind of hoped. That’s not an option now, obviously. And I won’t talk to him anymore as a friend (as he’d been pushing for). I have an issue with talking to dudes who have girlfriends. It’s not even respect for him. It’s respect for her. I don’t think it’s appropriate for me to text another chick’s dude when I have some kind of romantic feelings for him. I wouldn’t want another chick doing that to a dude I’m seeing. The funny part is that he said it was a friend of his who he was venting to about his break up with me, and it just kind of happened. Does that make me a matchmaker? I’m taking credit if they get married down the road.

So, next. I’m ready to move on and see what else is out there. Let me tell you: there are a lot of crazies out there. It’s kind of scary actually. It Girl and I spent about an hour going through about 150 people and rejected about 128 of them. We had a very strict process. If a guy was younger than 26, he was rejected. If he was older than 35, he was rejected. There were some exceptions: if the guy was younger than 26 or older than 35 (but not older than 38) and was a fireman or police officer, then he was ok. If he was older than 35 and a hot Marine, he was ok. Younger than 24 and a Marine was not ok. I’m willing to make exceptions for men in uniform (no, UPS does not count). If a guy is taller than 6’1, he’s rejected. I don’t like tall guys. I think the perfect height for a guy is 5’7-5’9. I’m short (5’3) and I don’t wear heels, so I’m not especially fond of tall guys (unless they’re super cute! The Drywaller was 6’3) If a guy mentions his love of the gym more than once, he is rejected. And if he says it in his “what I’m truly thankful for” or “what I couldn’t live without” section, he’s rejected. I get that people are into working out, but if it’s one of the 3 things you’re truly thankful for, then you need to expand your horizons. There were a lot of attorneys on the site. And IT people. Very interesting. There were some adorable guys with kids, which is not a turn-off for me. I could handle kids, as long as there wasn’t baby mama drama. I love kids. There’s one guy who I’m in the "open" questions stage with who has a mentally handicapped brother. And in one picture he is with his two nieces (I’m assuming not the mentally handicapped brothers). He seems adorable. He seems promising. I don’t even remember what he does, but he seems to have a good heart. Check. And he said poor grammar is a turn-off. Double check. There was one guy who said that he was set up with his sister and in his cancellation/rejection said the problem was their family background was too different. That guy is hilarious! One guy is a registered nurse with a couple of kids. I could probably use a nurse around my house for when I hurt myself (see my previous post about burn and smooshed up thumb). One guy was a really, really, really good looking brotha who is 6’6. One guy talked about his mom a lot and referred to her as “ma” which we thought was adorable. I responded to him. While reading one guy’s profile It Girl said “he is really articulate” and then a second later we saw that one of the 4 words he used to describe himself was “articulate”. I don’t remember if we responded to him or not, but that was amusing. One guy was a guy I actually knew from school last year. He was a friend of my ex, Manic Depressive Alcoholic, though I use the term “friend” loosely, since both talked trash about each other behind their backs. He cancelled that connection, which is fine, because I would have too. That’s just awkward. And since we’re not even friends anymore, I’m guessing we’re not compatible. Gross. If I was on the fence about a guy, we rejected them. I’ve had 2 guys who I rejected already write and ask me to reconsider. If nothing else, this site is really great for my ego! Nothing heals a rejected/wounded heart like rejecting other people. Maybe eharmony will be a better experience. Not that match was bad necessarily. But, since I ended up single still, it obviously wasn’t successful. Here’s to success.

post-birthday party

My birthday party turned out even better than I could have imagined. (So good that it's taken me several days to recover.) From what I remember anyway. (Sorry mom.) I wasn’t going to drink very much. That was the plan. That plan got blown out of the water. So we started with the world’s largest pizza. I tell people it was a big people, but they can’t even grasp the enormity of it. If I had to guess, the pizza is about 4 feet by 4 feet. It’s HUGE! And delicious. So delicious. I only had one small square from it though, cause I was too excited to eat. Probably a bad idea in retrospect as I definitely could have used the food in my belly as absorption. But, to live and learn, as they say. I started out with just a few Coors Lights, because I was definitely keeping it classy. A bunch of people met up at the It Couples house for said pizza and beer. It Couple was obviously there, as was Mr. Baby Talker. The Newlyweds were there. (They were going to bring the birthday crown, which is a crown which makes its way around the birthday party circuit. They forgot the crown and actually went home to get it and bring it! How sweet is that??) Florida was there and looking sassy in her new boots and tights! Little Sister and The Charger came too. The Comic came all the way up from LA to meet all of my Orange County friends. It was so great having him there and meeting everyone! Mr. Schmoozy came by too! Mr. Schmoozy is a buddy who graduated last year, and who I haven’t seen since graduation. He was Mr. Law School- the SBA President, the guy who knew everyone, the guy who could just make any situation fun by being there. He’s hilarious and awesome, and is probably the person I miss the most from last year! He was sick, so I was really stoked that he showed up! I was so stoked that I risked catching his swine flu by hugging. A few other people showed up at the house. It Girl bought glow stick bracelets which we suited up with. And with that, we left for the bar. Well, most of us girls left to go to the bar. My sister was there on time, and I didn’t want to leave her waiting. I try to never leave my sister waiting. Plus, I was so stoked that she came, that I didn’t want her to be mad I wasn’t there and leave. It was her actual birthday on Saturday. (As I later, drunkenly, told the DJ “We’re almost twins. My birthday was two days ago, hers is tonight.” I didn’t feel like mentioning that we’re 4 years apart. I figured it was better to leave him confused.) Most of the guys stayed to watch the end of the Angels game as it went into its millionth inning.

We got to the bar and my sister and brother were there. My brother brought his buddy who I’ll refer to as Adopted Brother #3. (He should be #1 since he’s the one who showed up, but there’s already a 1 and 2.) My brother has this amazing group of buddies who are always around. So, we joke that they’re my adopted brothers. They’re all so nice and fun, and threaten to beat up guys for me, so who doesn’t love that? #3 is a professional Volleyball player. He’s just the funnest, sweetest, all-around good guy. And he has this completely adorable girlfriend who I will start referring to as my adopted sister I think. She’s so sweet and completely beautiful. They’re just the cutest couple ever. I think I told her like 1,000 times how adorable she is. I don’t know why, but I feel really protective of her in a big sister way, even though I barely know her and she has sisters of her own. So, they were all at the bar already. One of my girlfriends from high school was also there with a couple of her friends. The night starts getting fuzzy after that, cause people started buying me shots. I should have listened to my brother when he tried to cut me off. All I really remember is dancing a lot, getting sweaty and hitting on my high school friend’s buddy. He was an adorable video game programmer or something like that. He was only 24 though, so I felt like a cougar. Granted I’m not rich enough and not quite old enough, but almost. He added me on facebook the next day. At least, I think that was him who added me. A very cute guy added me on facebook. We’ll leave it at that. I’m leaving it up to him to actually email me or anything though. The new non-aggressive me is letting the dude take charge and make the move. I’m working on the whole “patience” thing and am determined to figure it out! He was nice enough to hold me up at the end of the night, as I was having trouble standing. I would like to say it was a clever excuse for a cute boy to put his arm around me, but no, I was just that out of it.

The night ended with The Comic driving me home safely. The bar is only 2 blocks from my apartment, but there’s no way I could walk. I could barely even make it up to my apartment. My buddy, The Chef, had to walk me upstairs. The Chef is a friend of mine from way back in the day. We’ve known each other for like 10 years, though I think he forgets that. Sometimes I call him out on stories from the past and his response is “Oh yeah. You knew me back then.” The Chef just recently moved back to Southern California from Hawaii. His job transferred him out here to Irvine, so now he lives in my apartment complex. It’s convenient having a good buddy who is a chef living so close, though he HAS NEVER cooked for me. I’m just saying, that’s awfully rude. I have about 4 friends who are professional chefs, and none of them cook for me. Did you all miss the act that I practically live on Ramen? I don’t cook and would gladly accept meals from chefs. I’ll even buy the food if I have to! I swear, I’d starve if It Girl didn’t cook family dinner for me on Sunday nights! But, I’m glad he lives here now, especially since he was in charge of getting me home on Saturday night.

When I got home, I may or may not have gotten sick (read: did). But, despite that, the night was perfect! Good times with good friends, new and old. I

pre-birthday party

So, tonight is my birthday party. I’m getting pretty excited. I spent the day with It Girl, Little Sister and The Charger (yes, I’ve finally come up with a name for Little Sister’s fiancé. He’s a big Chargers fan. He’s also a Notre Dame fan, but I won’t hold that against him.) looking for possible venues for their wedding. I feel so lucky that they brought me with them. I’m lucky they didn’t leave me behind, because I kept asking questions to the people who were coordinating the weddings at the various locations: “What are the linen options?”, “How big is your dance floor?”, “How many weddings do you host at a given time?”. Who brought the loud mouthed question girl? It’s not even my wedding, and I have no greater role than to attend, but I couldn’t keep my big mouth shut. I blame law school. I blame everything on law school. It’s a good excuse.

Back to tonight. So, we’re starting with pizza and cake at It Couple’s house. I’m ordering the world’s biggest pizza from our favorite pizza place. It’s humongous and delicious. One giant pizza feeds like 30 people. No joke. I’m so excited for giant pizza! Then we’re meeting most everyone at my favorite dive bar. As Mrs. Newlywed says “You won’t meet your lover there, but you’ll definitely meet your mother’s lover.” It’s this perfectly dirty dive bar with an awesome dance floor and dj. Most of the people are local bar flys. Most are dirty old men who watch the dance floor. Some are people who show up at the club by themselves to just dance. Alone. Just dance. This bar also has grills where you can grill your own meat. Unfortunately that ends at 9pm, so we opted to just get giant pizza and go dancing later on. A pitcher of beer is 7 bucks. Can this place be any cooler?!

So I’m predicting a night full of awesomeness and hopefully some good stories for my blog tomorrow. Or Monday, when I finally sober up and recover. My brother and sister are both supposed to come, which makes me even more excited, since the three of us rarely ever go out together! Today is my sister’s birthday, so I’m stoked she’s coming. She’s not huge on birthdays, so she said she didn’t ca if I planned my party on hers. And no, that wasn’t her present to me. It was just like an added bonus. I’m thinking that tonight I will eat a lot of pizza, and drink a lot of beer (sorry mom, but it’s my last year in my 20’s and my last chance to say “But I’m only in my 20’s!”). I’m not counting on meeting any guys, since I’m not into old bar flys. But, maybe today will be my lucky night. If it were a Hollywood movie, ATC would show up and exclaim “I was wrong, please take me back!” And I’d have to momentarily consider, cause I’ll be looking really good in my blue skirt and knee high black boots. But, then I’ll say that we’re only human and we all make mistakes and I’m just glad he realized his mistake before it was too late. And then we’ll walk off into the sunset, which is odd, since I won’t even be getting to the bar until after 9pm. But, somehow there’ll be a sunset and we’ll walk toward it. Too bad there’s not a Sunset Blvd. or Ave. cause that would count as walking off into the sunset. But, that’d also be dangerous, since we’d likely get hit by cars. So, overall it’s probably good that he’s not gonna show up.

my last day at work

So my birthday present to myself was quitting my job. Ok, that’s not entirely true. My present to myself was a cute coat. But, being the spoiled girl I am, I like many presents. So I also quit my job. I actually didn’t want to quit. It just so happened that I had to quit on my birthday. It made me sad having to tell them I wouldn’t be coming back. I love my job! It’s such a great office, and I get so much experience! My boss is so nice that he saves all of his work until the days when I’m there and lets me do just about everything! He’s so giving! But for real, he was an amazing man to work for. He was patient with me when I messed up, and quick to give me credit when credit was due. But the reason I’m most sad to leave is that I’m bummed to be leaving the cops. No, not the cute cops who come in for court (though, yes, that bums me out A LOT! That was the highlight of my whole day to be honest) but the cops that I worked with. My office was attached to a LAPD liaison unit who worked with us exclusively. They helped the lawyers with making sure that the cops came to court, among other things. I refer to the whole unit as “the cops”. The office was kind of divided into “the cops” and “the lawyers”. I spent a lot of time with the cops, because in the beginning, when I first started working there, they were so kind to me and let me use their computer (I didn’t have a computer where I sat, yet I had to do research and write briefs. I brought my own laptop to write briefs, but researching on the internet was still impossible). So I spent a majority of my work day on their side. The plus to that was that I was able to talk to many officers and learn all about the wonderful work they do (yes, I am very pro-LAPD). That’s actually how I met The Cop. He was there one morning and we chatted and one of my co-workers hooked the whole thing up.

The cops brought me into their family. That’s really what it was: a family. We laughed, cried, argued, and laughed some more, just like family. We had lots of shenanigans too. It was always a good time, and you never knew what would happen.

First and foremost, there’s the boss, my work mom. (Sorry, Sarge, but we all know that my work mama is the head of the office.) She is this feisty, wonderful woman who is possibly one of the most compassionate and caring people you will ever be lucky enough to know! She has worked for LAPD for decades as a police dispatcher. She is loyal to the department, even though she may not agree with a lot of their newer policies. She is outspoken and will definitely let you know what she’s thinking. And many sentences are punctuated with the word “whore”. “Come here, whore.” “Shut up, whore.” Family is the most important thing to her, and I feel lucky that she liked me enough to bring me into her work family. Oh, and did I mention that she’s the biggest germ-a-phobe on the planet and that she bought special germ killing antibacterial spray for me for when I fall down and scrape my knees (since I’ve been known to do that from time to time). She promised to stay on the lookout for me for any cute cops now that I’m gone.

Next, we’ll go to my favorite female cop. We’ll call her the Fun and Fearless Cop. She is one of the funniest people I’ve ever met in my life. She can turn any situation into something hysterical. (I’m thinking of several situations which I don’t translate well, but if she’s reading this she’ll understand: “I can’t be bothered to turn my head around. It is beneath me to look behind me!” or “Good day! I said good day!”) She is truly beautiful inside and out; one of those people who you just want to be around because you know she’s so naturally amazing. She has been through a lot in her life, which still amazes me when I think about, and yet is the first one to be up for a sky diving trip or bungee jumping. She is so much fun, but holy crap can she be scary when she turns on her serious cop stare. I hope to never be on the receiving end of that look!

The last of the ladies is one of the most gentle, good-natured, spiritual, and loving women I have ever met. She is patient and caring and always had profound words of advice for me when I came to her with my problems. She taught me a lot about trying to be patient (which I know is my biggest weak point). She is also a firm believer that God has a big plan for me, and that I just need to let it work itself out. I try to remember that every time I get frustrated or impatient.

Now for the boys:

First, the “real” boss of the office. (It’s in quotes because, again, we all know my Work Mama is in charge) The Sarge is one of the most interesting people I’ve met. He just looks like a cop. Seriously. When you think of a Sarge, you would picture this man. He’s tall and thin and has a moustache. He’s also very good natured (one of the common threads that runs through the office) and treats everyone who works for him so well. He is easy going and even tempered. He brings in food for everyone who works for him, and started including me in that, which was awesome! He’d go to In N Out and bring burgers for everyone, myself included. Oh how I’ll miss In N Out days! He’s also very compassionate towards animals. I think he loves animals more than people. He has a one eyed cat with diabetes who he treats better than most people treat their human children. Granted, a one-eyed cat with diabeted probably deserves to be treated better than a human child. Poor kitty!

Next there’s our computer tech cop. He’s not really the computer guy, but he seems to know how to fix all of our computer problems. And I tend to break computers a lot, so that’s a bonus! He’s big on hi-jinks. For example, I’d left a picture of myself on one of the computers which I’d sent to my girlfriends (in preparing for my first date with ATC, I’d sent a picture of me in a certain shirt to my girlfriends- including The Comic- to decide if that’s the top I should wear. My dumb ass forgot to erase the picture, and of course it was used in a later prank.) and it’s now the wallpaper on one of the computers with a caption that says something about how glad I am to finally be 18. Thanks. He is one of the most chivalrous men I’ve ever met. For example, yesterday they took me out for lunch. He went and got the car, met us at the door, and then dropped us off at the door upon our return and then went to go park the car. Most people wouldn’t go through that hassle. He’s so thoughtful. But, my favorite thing about him is that he’s always happy and smiling, even when I’m asking him to track down a police log from 6 years ago.

Then there’s the big guy. This man is the quintessential strict father with a great sense of humor. He loves his family more than anything in the world and would do anything for them. That being said, he is also an authoritarian and things are his way or the highway. For example, one of his daughters (yes, he has all daughters, which makes it even funnier!) threatened to run away when she was real young (I forget exactly how young, but want to say like 9). So, he says “go ahead, but why are you packing? This is all my stuff.” And then he put her out of the front door and closed it on her. Hey, some people may think that’s tough love, but I bet she’ll never try to run away again! There are so many fun stories from him about his family (like the time one of his daughters said she was going to be a vegetarian. Yeah, you don’t say that to a man who lives on a farm and slaughters his own animals!). I always wondered if he thought I was slightly crazy, but then I realize that he thinks everyone is slightly crazy, so I’m ok.

Finally, there’s my work best friend. I call him that since he always made fun of me for calling everyone my best friend and then trying to explain the different categories of best friend. So, he’s my work best friend. This guy is the guy that sitcoms are based on. (In fact, we’ve been working on a sitcom based around him) He’s the goofy, fun guy who makes the work day a lot more fun. He’s quick to crack jokes about anything and everything, including himself. He’s very thoughtful and caring and remembers things though you don’t think he’s even paying attention. He has a beautiful wife and three kids, and proudly displays their pictures on his desk. He works a million jobs and a million hours, but is still always good humored. The joke at the office was that I actually worked for him, since we were always together. But, hey, who else is going to escort me down stairs so I can buy my daily diet Dr. Pepper? Though I’m going to miss everyone equally, if you ask him, I’ll miss him the most. I probably wouldn’t disagree, since he was my work best friend, partner-in-crime, buddy. And, I’ve almost forgiven him for being the one who set me up with The Cop.

I thank you all for making my time at the office so amazing and enjoyable! And, though you think I won’t still come by to hang out, you know that I could never go for very long without seeing any of you, and will be stopping by to say hi! Plus, you promised you’d be at graduation and start the wave. I’m expecting you to keep that promise. And to find me a new cute cop.

my morning at the DMV

So this morning I braved the DMV. My license expires tomorrow (my birthday) and I couldn’t do it through the mail again this year, since I’d already renewed it through the mail 3 times or something. (Some dumb DMV policy). Of course I got the notice about 2 months ago, but hesitated in making the appointment, because I am perpetually lazy. Well, I went on about 2 weeks ago to make an appointment. The earliest one I could find was on October 22, which was well after the expiration date. Oops. So I had to go to the DMV and brave the non-appointment line. Of course I put that off too. It doesn’t expire until the 15th, so I have until the 14th, I figure. Yes, I know I could go on the 15th, but I have to work, and who wants to go to the DMV on their actual birthday? That’s more depressing than blowing out candles on a cake all by yourself. Happy birthday to me, Happy birthday to me. So I got up early today (7:30) so I could straighten my hair and put on make-up. Ok, I know the DMV isn’t the high fashion hot spot, but I had to take a new picture, and I didn’t want my hair in a pony tail or a poofy ball of mess. Of course I still wore my favorite pair of Levi’s corduroy pants and my trusty gray USC sweatshirt. But, at least my hair was done. So I get to the DMV thinking I’d outsmarted the system. I’ll get there early and get the first number when they open at 9. When I rolled into the parking lot at 8:30, I was lucky to even find a space! People were smirking at me “Oh you thought you were so clever? Ha!” The line was wrapped around the corner and almost to the end of the building. Luckily there was an overhang we could stand under, since it was raining. I’m thinking that the people before me must spend a lot of time at the DMV. First, they knew that showing up a mere 30 minutes before opening isn’t nearly enough. And one guy even brought a chair. Who would have thought to bring a folding chair?? That’s crazy!! While in line, I was thinking how funny it is that the DMV is the one place where it’s ok to dress like a slob. Going to the bank, you probably shouldn’t look homeless. Going to the grocery store? That’s decent public, you should at least throw on your nicer sweat suit. Going to school? You should at least brush your hair. All those rules are thrown out the window at the DMV. Everyone there looks homeless. Myself included. I was wearing my rain tennis shoes, which is what I call my old favorite pair of Puma’s, which now have holes in both the toes. I don’t want to get my nice shoes gross in the rain, so I’ll wear the holey ones and deal with wet socks if and when that problem arises. Is there a special DMV where the rich and beautiful people go? Like, where does Brad Pitt go to the DMV? Where do the hot guys where you run into every other place in the world go? Where do the firemen go? I can tell you it’s not any of the DMVs I’ve ever been to, that’s for sure! Theoretically, the DMV would be a great place to meet people. You’re stuck there for hours, and there is such a high traffic rate of people coming in and out, you’d think you’d run into at least one attractive guy. Why is that never the case (for me anyway?) I’d love to hear someone’s story of how they met “Well, I was waiting at the DMV, and in he walked…” That’d be a great story. Not my story apparently, as all I came across were really random people. There was one lady in front of me who spent the whole half hour before the DMV opened on her pink iphone. No, that’s not the weird part that I noticed. Talking on the phone. Normal. Going to your car and leaving right as the DMV opens and the line starts moving? That’s weird. I kept her spot for her til I saw her car back up and drive back. She really left. It was so weird!! Ok, so then I get inside and get my number. G023. Not too bad I figured. I sat down in a chair next to a lady. Her number got called pretty early. When she vacated her seat, this older guy in dress pants and a suit shirt sits down next to me. Who are you trying to impress, Mr. Fancy Dress? We slovenly DMV-goers look down at you nicely dressed people! I heard him say he was applying for a motorcycle license. He’s probably some lawyer or accountant going through a mid-life crisis. He’s probably post-divorce and trying to prove to young girls at bars that he’s still hip. “Yeah, I rode here on my motorcycle. No big deal.” Well, I had no idea how young he liked them until he turned to the 16 year old girl on the other side and asked what she was in for. (Yeah, that’s a direct quote. “What are you in for?” Followed by a “how do you think we’re gonna do?”) Don’t talk to the timid young girl, you creepy old pervert! She kept trying to cut the conversation off with awkward laughs. He didn’t get the hint. It was creepy!! When they called her number, she practically jumped up and ran to the window. Then the guy says (not exactly sure who he was speaking to. Me? I don’t think so. The world in general? Probably.) “I have to go to the bathroom. I’ll be back.” I was praying for anyone to come take the seat while he was gone. Little old Asian Grandma, please come sit next to me. Woman with the screaming baby PLEASE sit down! But no, no one came to sit down. So it was still empty when he came back. Luckily they called his number pretty quick. After only about 40 minutes, they called my number. I went up the lady. I smiled at her and asked how she was doing. She actually stopped for a second and looked taken aback. I think the people who work at the DMV are nice, it’s society who goes there who are assholes. But, it’s hard to remain nice and positive after waiting for over an hour, I guess. I was just happy to finally be at the window and didn’t want to do anything to risk her sending me to the back of the line. She has the power, I don’t. I’ll be nice. So we go through the usual stuff “Is this your address?” “Yes.” “Can you read the letters on line 1?” “Yes.” Silence. “Oh, you want me to actually read them outloud? My bad! FOEPT.” Then, she asked if I wear contacts, to which I replied “Nope. My eyes are just naturally this beautiful.” I don’t think she really got it. She just looked at me like I was crazy. Not a fan of joking, noted. I finished there and went over to the place to have my picture taken. Another line. After 10 minutes in that line, I got to sign, thumb print and take a picture. I smiled. I think. At 9:53, I was out of the DMV, so I didn’t really care about anything else (smiling versus not smiling, creepy people, screaming children, etc.). Well, didn’t care about anything else until I caught my reflection in the mirrored windows. I’d almost forgotten something! Rainy, damp weather and naturally curly hair straightened with a flattening iron don’t mix so well. In fact, it turns into a frizzy rats nest. I can’t wait to see the picture!

the fall

I love the fall. It’s the beginning of boot season and I do love me some knee high boots! The weather starts to get cooler. USC starts playing better. It’s almost my birthday. The days start to get shorter. (Oh wait, I don’t like that last part. But everything else is cool.) It’s nice to start ordering coffee and not sweating to death while drinking it in 90 degree weather. It’s great to snuggle with my teddy bear at night. I just love the fall. I’m not as big a fan of winter, cause I don’t like it too cold. But, I’m from Southern California, so what do I really know about cold weather? It turns 60 here and everyone (Myself included. Myself especially) thinks its freezing. Don’t worry, I’m stocked up on coats and jackets and sweaters. Oh and scarves. I have a ton of cold weather clothing which normally stay in the drawers. But I have them nonetheless. The fall is also a big time for quick decisions. Do I want a Pumpkin Latte or a White Chocolate Mocha? Should I use my blue or pink scarf with the gray sweater? Should I roll over in bed because my back is stiff and risk the shock of the cold side of the bed, or stay where it’s warm cause I’ve laid here for an hour? But the fall also is hard for a Single girl. All the commercials on TV start showing ads for Christmas which feature happy couples proposing or celebrating. There are holiday parties where it’s likely that I’m going to be the only single person. All my presents are going to be from couples. My birthday will be spent with friends, but I’ll have no one there with me specifically. Everything is geared toward coupledom around the holidays. The message is that cold weather is for love and lovers. But, that’s only looking at it negatively. It’s one less present I have to buy if I don’t have a boyfriend. And, if I had a boyfriend, I’d probably want to spend a lot of money (which I don’t have since I’m a starving student with an unpaid internship) to buy him a nice present. So that’s a plus. It’s one less cookie I have to share when I bake holiday cookies (and by bake, I do mean buy at Ralphs). It’s one less choice I have to make when deciding my own plans (as in, should we go to your friend’s party or mine?). So, while it’d be nice to have someone to decorate the tree with, or to buy a present for, it’s not so bad not having someone. Cause no matter what, I know that my friends will want me to be there with them during the holidays regardless of whether I have a plus 1. Right guys? Right? Right.

Delete

I’ve created a new rule. When I am no longer talking to a boy, delete his number. Seriously. No good can come from having his number anymore. Either I’m going to be good and not text/call him for a long time, in which case, why still have it, or I’m going to be weak and find reasons to text him. More likely than not, it is the latter case that will happen. Why would I need the number still? If I get a flat tire, is he the first person I’m going to call? Probably not. If I need a blood transfusion, would he be the first on my list of potential donors? Doubtful. I have enough people who have proven themselves worthy of being on those lists. Sorry friends, but if you’re my friend, you’re the ones who would receive those calls. Well, it’d go: Mom, Dad, Sister, It Girl, the Comic, Brother. I think those are my faithful, go-to in time of need people. Those are the people that if I fall down and can’t get up, I’d call. They’re the people that no matter what, I know I can count on, and they can always count on me in times of need. No matter what. Like, if there were a fire, I’d rush in to save them. (Well, to be honest, I’d probably rush in to save a complete stranger if there were a fire, but that’s just cause I have this dang bleeding heart that wants to fix and/or save everyone, regardless of whether it hurts me in the process.) The Detective might go on that list soon too, cause she’s a really true and loyal friend. Plus, she can arrest people for me! That’s a great trait in a friend! But, the point of the story is, I don’t need to keep the number of a guy I’ve stopped seeing. Really, nothing positive can come out of my having it. The lawyer in me likes to try to argue my way out of breaking up (if it’s not my decision). But why? Arguing is most likely not going to change his mind. A cleverly put together power point presentation on my values and virtues and why dating me is such a great thing will not make him want me back. (Not that I’ve done that…) He either knows already how awesome I am, or he’ll never realize. Calling or texting after is only going to make me look weak or pathetic. And, if a guy wants to try to work it out, he’ll call. I’ve seen and read He’s Just Not That Into You. I know how it is. And I have friends who realized they were wrong about a break-up and tried really hard to get a girl back, even if they think it’s pointless. I’ve recently gone through my phone and deleted the numbers of guys I’m no longer seeing, or of guys who I really just have no interest in talking to ever again. They’re all gone. Well, except for the Cop. I’m going to keep his number, cause a) you can never have enough cops’ phone numbers (come on, I’m a single girl living on my own! You never know!) and b) we got along pretty well, and I think someday we could be friends. But, even with the Cop, I had to delete it for a while because I didn’t trust myself to not call him. But I found it on my desk at work when I was cleaning it off (from the sticky note where I first got it) and I figured it was safe enough to keep it now. But the new policy is to not write it down; not keep it at all; not to have it in my possession. If the guy wants to call and text me, maybe I’ll respond. But that decision will be made on a case by case basis and up to me. No more putting myself out there or seeming eager or desperate. Cause while I think I’m being cutely persistent or sweetly aggressive, I’m going to call it like I see it: pathetic. And while I am neither admitting nor denying any recent gratuitous texting, I am saying that this decision includes (maybe most importantly) my most recent suitors. Delete. No harm or ill will intended but delete nonetheless. Delete.

Congratulations Little Sister!

One more single girl is no longer single. Or, on the road to no longer being single. Congratulations to Little Sister. Today at 2:37pm (ok, I made up that time. It was sometime in the afternoon, but I don’t know exactly what time) Little Sister became officially engaged. Her boyfriend took her to Disneyland so that they could buy season passes. At one point, she turned away from him and when she turned back around, he was down on one knee. Of course she said yes! I think Disneyland is a magical place to get engaged! The proposal comes with its own fireworks display! However, they didn’t stay long enough to see the fireworks, as he planned a dinner with all of her family. Yes, they were all in on the plan. I was in on the plan by default (since I’m with It Girl all the time, I find out everything she finds out. I even got a preview of the ring last night. But more on that later) but I did not go to the family dinner. There has to be a line drawn somewhere. Plus, I was supposed to go to the Comic’s birthday party tonight, but I wasn’t feeling so well. So, I’m at home watching movies in bed. I can’t get sick before my birthday! I actually went over to my brother’s place to hang out with him a little earlier. It’s funny that when you’re sick, you just want to be with your family. Yeah, being with my brother didn’t have quite the same affect. But, it was nice all the same. I went out and sat on the beach and listened to Billie Holiday while watching the sun set over the ocean. It was so peaceful and beautiful and gave me the perfect opportunity to think about things (life, love, the pursuit of happiness). And the icing on the cake: there was a school of dolphins (is it school? I don’t even know) swimming by. It was real cute, cause most of the fins were little baby fins. The little babies were trying to jump through the waves. It was adorable! I wanted to adopt them! How cool would it be to have dolphins swimming through your pool at home? “What? That? Yeah, that’s my pet dolphin. Feel free to throw him a fish.” I want to adopt every little baby thing that I see. Oh, and then there was this really cute sea lion swimming so close to the shore. I really thought he was going to come up on land. Maybe he’d come sit next to me and give me a hug and we could watch the sun set together. Yeah, that’d be weird. I don’t know what I was thinking. Sorry.

Back to my story. So, last night we went over to Little Sister’s boyfriends house for a house warming/birthday party. (I don’t know him quite well enough to have come up with a clever name for him. It’s in the works) So I got all dressed up and went with It Couple. It’s funny the reaction one gets when one doesn’t get dressed up often. When I got to It Couples house, I actually got a “you look nice!” from the guys there. And before we left, It Couple’s roommate, Mr. Babytalker, told me not to meet too many men (or something of the sort). Maybe I should put on eye shadow more often! So we get to the party. I’m feeling sassy in my short skirt and cute top. My hair is looking good. I’m feeling good. I’m picturing all the single men that I’m going to flirt with, since the boyfriend is a LAPD cop. I’m sure he has cute cop friends. Yeah, I could have been wearing sweats for all it matters. It was a total couples party. First, it was It Couple, Little Sister and her man, and the boyfriend’s roommate and his fiancée. Then another couple showed up. Then the door opened again and, oh look, another couple. Suddenly I went from looking like the girl who was dressed cute to meet single men to the girl who was trying way too hard. I guess that’s better than the girl who’s trying to steal other girls’ men. Whenever I’m in a situation where I’m the only single girl, I get really awkward and try to be overly nice to the girls so they don’t think I’m even looking at their men. I’m one of the few girls in the world who is actually safe around other girls’ guys, and would never think of even looking at a guy who has a girlfriend, wife, fiancée, etc. (Oh come on. I’m not bitter since other girls always flirt with my guys and the losers I choose tend to flirt back) It was a fun party overall. We didn’t stay up too late since It Couple had to run a 5K early this morning and I had to be at school for a class. And it was great going to the party cause I got to see the ring. It was really pretty and really big. I know nothing about cuts or carats, or else I would go into details. All I know is that it was really, really sparkly. Apparently it’s the one she picked out, so it’s a good sign that her soon-to-be hubby pays attention. So congratulations to Little Sister! I wish you nothing but a lifetime of wealth, health and happiness! And, if I’m invited to the wedding, I’m requesting to be sat next to cute, single men (preferably cops ). Thanks.

Changes

You can usually tell if a girl has been dumped because she suddenly sports a new hairdo. Maybe she chops all of her long locks off. Or maybe she makes the drastic change from blond to black. It’s kind of a go to thing for girls. While I was thinking today of what I would look like as a blond, I decided I like my hair as is. I recently chopped off about 13 inches for Locks of Love, so I don’t think anything would really be as dramatic as that anyway. (Is it still considered doing a good deed if you end up benefiting more because of said deed? I love my new hair way too much to feel like I did something out of the good of my heart.) I decided to try retail therapy. That is also a good ol’ standby for those of us girls in the broken hearts club (yes, I am being a little melodramatic.) It Girl and I went to the mall looking for a sparkly top for my birthday party. I decided that being shiny may make me feel better. I got sidetracked from my sparkly mission by this totally adorable Xanadu-esque dress. It was this 70’s inspired flowy purple dress that looks like something Olivia Newton John would be skating around in. It would look amazing on my tall, thin sister who looks like she could be a fashion model. On me it was more humorous than fashionable. Definitely not what bummed out girls need. Strike one. Then we went to this shoe store where I feel in love with the MOST AMAZING purple strappy bedazzled shoes. They might be the greatest shoes I’ve ever seen in the entire world. Ever. I have a total shoe fetish. The thing is, I can’t wear heels. So, my checkbook was saved. I would have bought them even if they were the most uncomfortable things ever and cut my feet to pieces. They were THAT cute! Strike two. Then we went to a third store. And there it was. A light from heaven was shining down upon it. (Turns out it wasn’t a light from heaven, but rather just a well-placed store light.) It was this beautiful, amazing, fabulous teal coat. Homerun! If I were any better at describing clothing or colors I would go into more details. But unfortunately, I was not blessed with that ability which is bestowed upon most girls. You’ll just have to take my word for the fact that it’s the greatest coat ever created. Well, aside from my red Burberry coat, which is pretty amazing. You’d think I lived in a place that warranted the need of several different coats. It’s probably odd to have even one coat in Los Angeles, but for some strange reason I’m addicted. Though, the way I look at it, if I get a job offer somewhere other than Southern California, I’m ready. Coat wise that is. The retail therapy kind of helped. But, it’s not exactly the change I was looking for. It didn’t fill the lonely hole which the two weeks of casually dating and rarely seeing ATC had created. I figured out exactly what I needed to do! I’m going to change career paths. No, not careers. I think I’ll stick with the law thing for awhile. At least until after the bar. I’m changing paths. I’ve decided to apply for jobs outside of the government sector. Yes. I do hope that I end up eventually Prosecuting. But, since there is a hiring freeze that doesn’t appear to be melting anytime soon, I think it’s time I start looking elsewhere. So, I fixed up my resume and cover letter and tailored them for civil firms. I’ve decided that there aren’t many things that one can control in life. I can’t make a dude fall in love with me. I can't make medical issues suddenly vanish (like my smooshed up thumb fingernail). I can’t make the airplanes that fly directly over my apartment at 7am any quieter. But, I can try to find a job that I can grow to tolerate which will pay me pretty well and make me work 70 hour weeks so that I’m too exhausted to even realize that I’m coming home to an apartment that doesn’t even have a cat or houseplant. I’m just saying: I’d rather get judged by a man on monster.com than one on match.com. One who judges me based on whether or not I’m on law review (note: I’m on 2 journals which are not law review and am proud of these journals!) rather than by whether or not I like to kayak on the weekends or take spontaneous trips to Kilimanjaro just. (Is it weird that during my short time on match.com, I looked at it as if it were a resume or job interview. I graded on punctuation and grammar. If a man used “their” instead of “there” or “your” instead of “you’re” I wouldn’t even give them a second glance. Yeah, maybe I’m anal retentive, and maybe I’m canceling out ¾ of the dating population, but I’m ok with that. I didn’t want that ¾ anyway. I mean, if the guy leaves me a love note that says "Your the love of my life. Their are no words to explain how much you mean to me." what am I to do with that? Pretend like I didn't notice that he completely butchered the English language? Ok. To be honest: if a guy gave me that note, I would be too stoked to even care about the grammar. Well, assuming I liked him and he wasn't some creepy stalker. If he were a creepy stalker, the grammar mistakes would make the entire situation even creepier. But I digress.) What? I am NOT bitter! I’ve just realized that school and work are the only boyfriends I need. And no, that’s not pathetic. It’s mature to focus on school and work. And to have cats. Several cats. That is very mature. I’m gonna be the most mature of all when I have 63 cats. I’m really allergic to cats, so that’s the one downside to my plan of maturity. But, with my new teal coat, my newly done up resume and cover letter and a bottle of Zyrtec, there’s no stopping the new mature me!

HJNTIY

After eating my body weight in chocolate and watching He’s Just Not That Into You, I am back to 100%. It was a night filled with tough decisions: chocolate or ice cream; which chick flick? And while I briefly considered eating both chocolate and ice cream, I opted for purity. Chocolate only. As for the movie, while Pride and Prejudice is often the go to chick flick of choice for healing a wounded heart and ego, He’s Just Not That Into You just seemed more appropriate. It had only been 2 weeks. It’s not like the love of my life had just ended things. That can’t happen until at least 4 weeks. 2 weeks is more like “Sorry, I like you, but I just don’t see things progressing. Good luck with life.” Hence, He’s Just Not That Into You. The title is misleading though. You’d think a movie with that title would end with a bunch of girls crying on their sofas, eating chocolate and watching chick flicks. Then maybe I could relate. (**Spoiler alert**) But no; it works out well for everyone. I really wish that I could be Ginnifer Goodwin’s character. She’s so hopeful about finding love and gives herself over completely despite being constantly let down (the part I semi-relate to). But in the end, the guy she wants ends up on her doorstep, apologetic and begging for her forgiveness, and begging for her to take her back. Hollywood, why do you do this?? That’s not going to happen in my life, yet I keep listening for the knock at the door. That’s just mean spirited to get my hopes up. Jennifer Anniston’s character is great too. Her man decides that while he has his theories on life which he can’t change, he needs to change in order to keep the woman of his dreams. Well, that’s not likely either. If a man truly feels strongly about something, he’s not going to change his whole belief system just to keep the girl. Hollywood, again, why are you getting my hopes up? I think I’m more like Jennifer Connelly’s character in the movie. She discovers that she’s fine on her own and much better off and refuses to settle. And while the feminist, girl power, independent me is stoked to align myself with this strong character, I want to be the one who ends up with the great guy at game night with friends. I’m not ashamed to say that.

While we’re on the list of chick flicks, let me list my all time favorite top 15 chick flicks:
15: Ever After
14: Chocolat
13: Singles
12: French Kiss
11: Enchanted
10: Nacho Libre
9: Once
8: Mama Mia
7: Breakfast at Tiffany’s
6: The Princess Bride
5: He’s Just Not That Into You
4: Dirty Dancing
3: Pride and Prejudice
2: 50 First Dates
1: An Affair to Remember: Cary Grant. Sigh.

Honorable mention:
*Anything with Marilyn Monroe, Cary Grant, Frank Sinatra, Gene Kelly or any of the bombshell actress from that time. I love classic romantic comedies!
*Walk the Line: I think that Johnny Cash and June Carter Cash have just this beautiful and eternal love and it makes me happy.
*Sense and Sensibility: I’m just a sucker for romantic movies set in the past
*Twilight: I’m also a sucker for vampires!
*Grease 2: Coooool Rider!
*P.S. I Love You: I dare you to not cry throughout this entire movie!
*The Hottie and the Nottie: Paris Hilton movie. Need I say more?
*500 Days of Summer: Just a great movie.

good and bad news

I have good news and bad news. Let's go with the bad news first, so that the good news will stop the tears from the bad. I'll do it like a Band-aid, quick and easy. Sure, a little more painful, cause all the hair will be ripped out with the sticky tape, but then the healing can begin. ATC and I broke up. Well, after 2 weeks is it even consider breaking up? I guess it's more like, decided not to start anything. Let's just say that we had an ideological difference which we couldn't come to terms with. It's just one of those things. Boy meets girl. Boy likes girl. Boy tells girl that he really likes her but that he can't get over this difference so he can't date her. Boy says let's be friends. Girl says "I have enough friends, thank you very much". I'm sorry, I just can't be friends with a guy who I obviously am attracted to and have feelings for. The question I have to ask is "would I want to see him with a girl he's dating?" If the answer is no, then we can't be friends. End of the story. I'm not bitter. I wish him well and do hope he finds the girl he's looking for. He's a good guy and deserves a nice girl who can give him everything he wants. The end.

Ok, good news. The blog is safe! Single girl is still extremely single! The timing sucks, cause my birthday is next week, but at least I'll be spending it with people I care about and who care about me and don't mind my ideological differences. Let's get the robot dancing on! I know that the Ambassador of Awesome will be especially stoked, cause just this morning I received an email from him saying he hoped it didn't work out with ATC for the sake of the blog. Way to jinx me, jerk!

It's actually good timing. I need to focus on school and work. That's what people say when they're horribly heart broken and trying to be cool. That's what I say when I'm horribly heart broken and trying to be cool. Work. School. Focus. Yeah! I'm just hoping that I get good news from the Riverside DA this week in the form of a second job interview. The universe has to give me that! It wouldn't be so cruel not to, right? Right???

How about some more good news? The separation occurred right before the Fireman and Policeman open house this weekend! I wasn't going to go, cause that wouldn't be appropriate. But yes, Newport Beach Police an Fire Stations, I would LOVE a tour of the stations and tutorials on public safety. And yes, this is my business card with all of my personal contact information on it. Feel free to call, text or email at anytime.

P.S. I emailed the teacher back. Yep, I'm losing no time. Single girl is single and ready to mingle!

scrapes and bruises

This week has been particularly hazardous to my health. I really don’t know how I didn’t know end up in the ER (though it was arguably close). Let’s start with Tuesday. I decided to be a good student and start outlining for one of my classes. The It Couple came over to my place and we put in a good solid chunk of study time. I was very proud of myself for being a good student. I sat in my trusty pink chair, lap top on lap, book on chair next to me. Got a lot accomplished. Oh wait. Did you know that lap tops aren’t actually meant to be placed directly on your lap? Yeah. It’s a very misleading name. After they left, I discovered a large red spot and a small blister. “Oops. Look what I did” I laughed to myself. A few minutes later I looked down and the blister was slightly bigger. “That’s odd” I thought to myself. I took a picture and sent it to It Girl to show her how dumb I had been in burning myself. A little bit later I noticed the blister had now gone from a small round spot to about the size of a nickel. And it was still hot and red. Now I was getting kind of worried. I didn’t want it to get any bigger. I figured I should take a needle and puncture it. The hot ooze just needed to be let out, right? Well, I did that and it didn’t seem to help. The panic was beginning to rise. I may have seriously hurt myself. I called The Comic to see what he thought I should do. (What, it’s not a normal reaction to call your smart-assed comic friend when there’s a serious problem?) Actually, he was more worried than I was. He googled burns and sent me specific remedies and links to help myself. He thought I should go to the ER, since every link said specifically “do not puncture”. I don’t have a Jewish mother, (mine’s Catholic) but from what I’ve gathered in life, I think the Comic became my over-protective and worried Jewish mother. I think I scared him more than I scared myself. He really helped calm me down though, so that’s good. I also emailed a couple girls I went to grade school and freshman year of high school with, cause I knew they are nurses. Thanks Facebook! That burn ended up not being too bad. I got some Neosporin and a bandage, and put myself back together. Of course my pant suit is at the cleaners, so I had to wear a skirt to work, and everyone was pointing out the tourniquet on my left thigh. But, it’s healing well, and I only have a slight boo boo from my stupidity.

Ok, so that was a dumb mistake. Oops, my bad. I learned my lesson about dumb mistakes. Right. Right? Cut to yesterday around 12:30pm. ATC had driven down to hang out. We met at my place and I drove us to go get breakfast. I find a great parking space and get out of my car. I close the door. Why isn’t my hand moving as I’m trying to move away from the car? Well, genius, you shut the door on your thumb! Not only was the door shut on my thumb, but I actually had to unlock the door to open said door to get my stupid thumb out. I was so shocked that I didn’t even cry or scream, though it hurt like a bitch. I was more embarrassed that I’d already hurt myself in front of ATC and it was only the 4th date! My thumb nail was split in half and gushing blood. I grabbed a napkin out of my car and pressed it to the wound. I tried to be tough. He rubbed my back as I sat there pathetically not knowing whether to laugh or cry. He asked if he could drive me home to fix me up. I asked “Can we go to It Girl’s house?” sounding way more pitiful than I should have. (Neither It Girl nor It Guy answered their phones) ATC drove me back to my apartment, since I didn’t have any Band-Aids in my car. (Note to self: start carrying Band-aids in my car) I washed off my finger as he went to my medicine cabinet to grab a Band-aid. Maybe I should have hidden my Sesame Street Band-aids ahead of time, but of course those are the ones he found first. He actually thought it was cute that I had a variety of kid-themed Band-aids. Of course only the small ones were left, cause those are my go-to bandages. He ended up grabbing a plain one since it was the only big sized one left. He bandaged me up and we went back to the restaurant to get lunch. Well, it’s bound to happen that I hurt myself in front of people I spend any large amount of time with. I just wish that it didn’t happen so soon and so stupidly. But, it’s nice to know that he still wanted to hang out with me after and wasn’t turned off my complete inability to function at all in life. That’s a trait I look for in a potential beau.

(Funny sidenote: We then went to It Couple’s house to hang out. It Girl made us dinner, and it was delicious. But, as she was prepping the dessert, she ended up slicing her hand pretty bad. I ran to CVS to get some gauze and tape because of where it was on her hand. I came back and ATC had to patch her up as well. Not only does he patch me up but he patches my friends up to! What a dream boat!!)

sleepless nights

I discovered another problem that I have. What is it about dating that makes one more keenly aware of every little problem or fault? The problem that I discovered most recently is that I lose the ability to sleep when I start dating a guy. I was exhausted last night and tried to go to bed around 10pm. Yet, it was another sleepless night full of tossing and turning. I couldn't stop thinking about ATC or how excited I was to see him today. Just one more night and then I’ll get to hang out with him. Yay! In the movies, the heroin drifts off to a peaceful night full of beautiful dreams of her male suitor and the wonderful time they’ll be having the following day. She wakes up refreshed and flawless. In my life, I sleep for maybe 2 hours, though I’m in bed for 10. I wake up with enough bags under my eyes for a 10 day vacation in Antarctica (read: big bags full of bulky clothes). Dark circles. My hair looks like an untamed Lion’s mane. And I’m more tired now than when I went to bed. Where were my blissful dreams? All I had were thoughts of: I need to sleep or I’m going to be too tired when I see him tomorrow; I need to sleep so I don’t look tired when I see him tomorrow; maybe if I don’t think about needing to sleep, I’ll be able to sleep, but damn, I’m still thinking about needing to sleep by telling myself not to think of sleep! D’oh! I've tried counting sheep or thinking about similarly colored vegetables (I read somewhere that if you try to list things like similarly colored vegetables or animals, you'll be able to sleep. That usually just sends me into stream of consciousness tirades: Orange. Oranges. Carrots. Bunnies like carrots. I like bunnies. I wish I had a bunny. I wonder if I'm allergic to bunnies? I'm allergic to cats. I love cats. I love Sunnbeam, my cat. I wonder what she's doing right now. I wonder if mom brushed Sunnbeam today. I should call mom tomorrow and ask how Sunnbeam is.) I've also tried meditating. Same problem as before happens. It doesn't take much to distract me. My mom suggested warm milk. That doesn't work either, and just makes me have to use the restroom in the middle of the night. No good. I think I'm just cursed with sleepless nights, and just have to come to terms with that. I guess that’s why the good Lord created concealer and coffee.

The Beach Boys were wise

So, relationships are hard. Scratch that. Beginnings of relationships are hard. A lot of people love that beginning phase, where you are giddy about the person, and play the coy game and all that b.s. I’m the opposite. I prefer the middle of the relationship. The one where you just feel comfortable with the person and don’t question their motives or intent. I hate the guessing games in the middle. When can I call him first? When is it time to meet his friends? When can I start picking fights for absolutely no reason? I hate those questions! I think my problem is that I’m not good at the beginning part. I’m not good at dating more than one person or keeping it casual. I think the guys I choose are partly to blame. I tend to gravitate towards the guys who think like I do and are straight forward and blunt. But, while they say they appreciate that in me, I have to wonder if that’s true. Like, it’s Friday night and I’m alone. ATC has plans tonight with his friends and tomorrow night with his friends. I’m obviously not invited. I get that. It’s only been a week. Maybe it’s too soon for him to bring me into his circle of friends. But, at the same time, shouldn’t he be more excited to hang out with me than with his friends? Granted, tonight’s a birthday party and tomorrow is a wine tasting thing, so it’s not like he’s just hanging out at somebody’s house. But, I have to wonder if I would have been blown off if it were? He tells me he’s not interested in anyone else or in dating anyone else and wants to get to know me. That’s why we’re hanging out Sunday. I like Sundays, don’t get me wrong. Winding down the weekend, getting ready to start the new week. I love that. But, in the beginning, shouldn’t you want to hang out with the girl you’re dating on a real weekend night? Did the Beach Boys teach him nothing? You don’t leave your best girl home on a Saturday night. I think my real issue is with the fact that he met It Couple last Sunday. It was his idea. He said he’d come to Newport to hang out and that I should see if my friends wanted to meet. It’s kind of a double standard. But again, it’s only been a week. I wonder if maybe I tried dating other guys too, if that would help my attachment problem. I’m already digging on ATC a lot, so maybe I should counteract that by talking to other dudes. The problem is, I’ve never been a “date more than one guy at a time” kind of girl. It’s just not something that interests me. I don’t date just to date. I’d rather stay home or hang out with friends instead. The teacher emailed me the other day. He apologized for being busy for a few days. It was a cute email. I haven’t responded yet. I don’t know if I should. I mean, I like ATC. And he says he really digs me. But, actions speak louder than words. So, while it’s cute that he’s texting me while at this birthday party tonight, I’m still at home in my pjs on a Friday night. The Teacher is out of town for the weekend on a camping trip at Catalina. So that buys me a little time to figure it out. I’m seeing ATC on Sunday. He’s planned this thing for us to do, which is cute. He was going to just come down to Newport and we’d grab dinner with It Couple and just hang out. But, I think my pointing out the double standard made him feel bad, and he put some thought into something fun we could do, so I'd feel like I was still getting a weekend night. Or, maybe I’m reading too much into it. Either way, I’m still stoked on ATC and want to see what happens. I’m excited to see him Sunday. I can’t wait for Sunday. I just wish that I got three days with him again this week, like I did last week. Maybe that’s the problem. He spoiled me too early on. Guys, don’t false advertise with lots of together time if that’s a one-time-only/limited time offer kind of thing. Otherwise, a girl who is into you may consider expanding her dating options. Perhaps I need to work on my patience. I'm highly impatient. More of a Veruca Salt "I want it now!" kind of person. I guess I can and will work on that. Is it Sunday yet??

I also can’t help but wonder: did I jinx it by assigning a special ringtone? He demoted me by going from 3 dates in a week to 1. I don’t think my demoting him back to a general ringtone really has the same affect.