my week with new marine

So, New Marine sucked, and I hate him. Oh man. I wish that was true. I’d be so much less sad right now about his not being here. Ok. Let me go back to the beginning. So, I got to the airport and he had just landed, and his flight arrived about 20 minutes earlier. I parked and walked to baggage claim just as he was getting there. I recognized him right away, and saw him before he saw me. I walked up to him. He turned and saw me walking towards him and got this huge smile on his face. I started walking in exaggerated slow motion for effect. Ok, that’s not true. But, in my head, that’s what was happening. I went up to him at normal speed and gave him a hug. It was so amazing to actually touch him. He became tangible! We waited for his bags. I offered to grab his bag off the belt, since I have tremendous upper body strength. He politely declined and said he could grab it himself. We left the airport and I drove directly to In N Out so he could have some deliciousness. It Girl texted me to see how it was going. He responded to her “He’s a douchebag and I can’t stand him already”, which freaked her out. Kind of hilarious. The rest of the trip went by in a blur. He cooked dinner for me almost everynight. Delicious and healthy meals. One night it was this pasta with spinach and pesto. Amazing!! One night it was quinoa with spicy chicken, snow peas and asparagus. For desert, he made strawberry shortcakes. I mean, everything he made was so good! We went to Mission San Juan Capistrano one day. I love it there! It’s so pretty! The flowers were amazing and beautiful. There were a ton of kids on field trips, which was the downside to the trip. But, we had fun. He used to go to church there, so it was fun to picture him as a little kid. We went to lunch with his uncle and mom one day. That was fun. I thanked the uncle for letting me come to lunch with them. He replied “No, I should thank you for bringing my boy home.” I almost cried. It was so sad! New Marine hasn’t been home in 2 years, and you could see how happy his uncle was to have him here. Happy, proud, ecstatic. It was really nice to be a part of. We went to the Getty Center one day. That was nice too. He’d never been, and I love it there. We only had 2 hours though, as we had to be back in the OC for a party at It Boy’s house. It was a small party so all of my friends could meet him. Some had met him on Monday at their softball game, but that was only for a minute. I was just showing him off. The party was a ton of fun. And, it randomly turns out that New Marine went to high school with It Boy, Mr. Newlywed and Mr. BabyTalker. So random!! He was a year behind them and only went to that school for a few months. Still pretty random! He got along with my buddies so well. He got along with everyone so well! My parents liked him. They only met him for a little over an hour, but they liked him. Of course, in about 85 minutes, my parents managed to work in “you know, she has the Bar coming up and doesn’t need any distractions” about 5 times. Subtle mom and dad. He knows that I have the Bar. He’s super supportive of me succeeding in life. In fact, he’s planning on me being the bread winner. Yeah, we’ve already talked about the future and things like that. I know it’s cheesy, and I’d make fun of me for saying this if I weren’t me (what?? Does that even make sense??) but, from the first second I saw him, I know that this guy has potential to be “The One”. I want to say I know that he is, but I can’t bring myself to be that cheesy yet. And, I think I need more than 9 days with him to know that for sure. But, I think it’s a good sign that in 9 days of complete togetherness, I didn’t get annoyed with him or wish he wasn’t there. And that’s abnormal for me. I don’t like people and do like my space. But, he just fit into my life so nicely! He’s hilarious and sweet and thoughtful and tough. He’s the total package!! He takes care of me. He carried my groceries and opened doors for me. He even got my lazy butt into the gym twice! He was patient with me as I complained about weights being too heavy. He was even patient with me when I fell in front of him. Yes. I fell twice. Graceful. I got a little dressed up for the party at It Boy’s house, and he told me how nice I looked like 5 times. When we were at the Getty, he said that he liked having me on his arm. He always held my hand and was affectionate. It was just perfect! It was like he was the perfect other half. I miss him so much. I’m not going to see him until August!! I’m going to North Carolina in August after the Bar. I’m saving money to make sure I can afford the plane ticket. I’m not good at saving money. But, I’m determined. I have a cute boy to go see. I told him I can’t wait until I’m buying a 1 way ticket so we can drive his car back to California when he gets transferred out here. I wish he could come to graduation, but he can’t. He was supposed to go on a fishing trip with his dad, but he can’t even get time off for that! So sad! I would have loved for him to be here for graduation, but I understood that the fishing trip with his dad was important. Besides, who wants to go to graduation? Graduations are boring, long and hot. Not a good combination of adjectives. At least this summer is hectic with the Bar, so time will fly by. And, Mrs. Brit is coming home soon, with her baby!!! I can’t even wait for that!!! I get to meet my baby boy!! I still can’t believe that my best friend is a mom! Weird. So, I have a few things to keep me distracted. And, I’m really good at being alone and having my own little rituals and habits. Like, writing this blog. I couldn’t do that when he was here. Or my ritual of eating chocolate. Ok, I don’t know that that counts as being a ritual, but that is neither here nor there. I don’t think I ate any candy or junk food when he was here. I’m glad he’s gone. Ok, not really. I cried a lot on Monday. I was a mess at the airport. Literally. I had just tripped while opening my car door for him, and fell on grass, so my knees were wet and grass stained when I was at the airport. What a lovely image to leave him with. “Here, let me get the door…WHOA!!” Oops. He’s told me a bunch of times that he misses me since he’s been home. It’s kind of nice to hear that. It’s just a little easier knowing that I’m not the only one who hurts because of the distance. It’s nice knowing that for once, I’m not the only one who cares. He likes me as much as I like him. And I think that’s what makes it perfect. You hear people say “Find someone who loves you more than you love them.” But, I don’t think that’s true. I think you need to find someone who loves you equally as much as you love them. Otherwise, you’d get bored. Or take advantage of the person. I mean, New Marine isn’t perfect, obviously. He annoyed me when he would criticize my driving, or when he would lag as I’m trying to get us out the door. But, they’re things that were so trivial as to not matter when compared to how much I liked him and liked everything else about him. I just can’t wait to see him again. We’re going to have a Skype date this weekend. I’m worried I’ll just cry when I see him. I’m so emotional! Dang it!! When did I become so lame?? I guess I was bound to get cheesy over a boy at some time. But, as God as my witness, I will never ever use baby talk! Never. Ever.

Oh, and I’ve decided to give New Marine a name change. He will now be known as “The Boyfriend” (“TB” for short).

New Marine comes tomorrow!!!

My apartment is as clean as it’s going to get. My outfit for tomorrow is chosen and laying neatly on my dresser waiting to be put on tomorrow (an electric blue sun dress and silver sandals). My hair washed. My nails are painted. My fridge is stocked with some of his favorite goodies (cheese, fruit, spicy hummus, Greek yogurt) and some of my own favorite goodies (Trader Joes jalapeno and cilantro hummus. YUM!!). I think I’m ready to call it a night. Though, I think it’s going to be a sleepless night as I eagerly await the morning. I’m nervous and excited. And nervous. And excited. At least it’s going to be a beautiful day tomorrow, so we can go do something fun. I don’t know what yet. But something fun. I think there’s a basketball playoff game tomorrow. If nothing else, we can go to a bar and watch the game. Maybe beer will be helpful and kill off the awkwardness. I don’t know if it’s going to be awkward. I feel like I already know him. I mean, we have been on several Skype dates, afterall. Oh! And get this! Today he was talking about his dream car that he wants to get. He said it’s between an old Bronco or an International Scout. Um, hold the phone. A 1969 Ford Bronco is MY dream car! It’d be electric blue and have white trim and a white rag top and white interior. It’d be so cute and beachy! He said that I could get the Bronco and he’d get the Scout. What’s great about it is that my dad told me I should never get one unless I learn how to work on it myself (which he knows will never happen). But, if I end up with New Marine, I’d have the best of both worlds: my adorably sexy car, and my adorably sexy Marine who can work on cars. Yeah, it must be part of the Marine initiation process, but he loves cars and knows how to work on them. He and his roommate just re-wired his roommate’s Jeep. Or, something like that. I don’t know. I kind of tune out when dudes start talking about cars and electronics. I’m more concerned with how cute the car is, and how cute I’ll look in the car. I’ll look really cute in an electric blue Ford Bronco. Anyway. The point is that I’m excited tomorrow to meet him. His flight arrives at 9:58am. Eeek! I don’t know if I’ll be updating while he’s here. I haven’t told him about my blog. It’s on a need to know basis. And as of right now, he doesn’t need to know. Besides, I think he’d want to read it. ATC and the last Marine didn’t want to read it. They were fine knowing about it, cause they didn’t really care. (Well, the Marine always asked what I wrote about him. I should have lied. I told him I wrote about liking him and hanging out with him. He didn’t need to know any of that. Maybe that’s part of what went wrong. Who knows. Who cares. New Marine is 1,000 times better for me. Last Marine was a great guy and all. But, I don’t know if he got me quite like New Marine gets me. Maybe it was just timing. I don’t know. But, I’m glad that I made the right decision and chose New Marine over holding out for last Marine.) So, with all that being said, I’m going to go try to get some sleep so I won’t look too exhausted and haggard tomorrow at 9:58am. Yay!!!!!!!!

Oh, and something interesting: this is my 100th post. Maybe it's symbolic. My 100th post is the night before I'm off to meet New Marine. Ok, I don't really know what it's symbolic of. But, I'm sure it's symbolic nonetheless. And, I heard Radar Love on the radio today. That's symbolic as well. For real!

1 more day!

So, New Marine gets here on Saturday morning. 9:58am. EEEEEEKKKK!!! I am so nervous!! I am so scared. I am so excited. It’s like this weird mixture of emotions. What if he doesn’t like me in person? What if I don’t like him in person? What if we run out of things to talk about? (I actually told him about my worries, and he said he already has a plan: if we get bored or have nothing to say to each other, we’ll go to a dive bar, have a couple beers and people watch. It’s cute that he’s worried about these things too and is trying to figure out how to overcome it.) I’m ready for him to be here. I’m worried I’m going to like him too much and that I will be super sad when he leaves. Assuming he can’t come back in May for graduation, the earliest I can see him will be August. I have to focus on studying for the bar in June and July. I won’t have time to go to North Carolina, or have him come here. But, I think that studying for the bar will make time fly by anyway. But, I’m possibly putting the cart before the horse. Let’s see how we get along in person. I have to figure out what I’m going to wear. I don’t even know. I have to figure out what we’re going to do. He wants to go to In-n-Out. Do I get a cheese burger or do I indulge and get a Double Double like I normally would when I go to In-n-Out. (Sidenote: I haven’t had In-n-Out since February. I may be dreaming about it more than I’m dreaming of New Marine). I wonder what he’s going to be wearing. I wonder what he smells like. I wonder what he’s going to think of the way I drive or the music I listen to. I’m so excited to find all of this out. It’s what will determine whether we actually belong together or not. I mean, I know we get along so far. But, it’s going to come down to how we interact in person. It’s so scary and exciting. I’m going to be bummed if it doesn’t work out. I have gotten so used to talking to him everyday and caring about him. I’ve put up pictures of him in my house. I have a picture of him as the wallpaper on my phone. (Yes, I’ve become cheesy. I know. I admit that and I own that. But, hey, what’s wrong with being cheesy? Maybe it means something that he’s made me able to be cheesy and uber-girly.) The funny thing is that I confessed it to him that I have pictures of him up, and he thought that was really sweet. He loves that I incorporate him into my life so much. I think most guys would probably be freaked out. Maybe that’s why I’ve never put up pictures of other guys. Maybe that’s why it’s supposed to work out with New Marine. Or maybe I’m just crazy and destined to be a cat-lady for the rest of my life. It could really go either way. I’m hoping it doesn’t go the cat-lady route: I have horrible cat allergies!

living like a frat boy

I’ve realized something: I live like a frat boy. Here’s how I came upon this realization. I was shopping for a birthday present for Ms. Adorable. It was her 30th birthday, and I planned a party for her. I wanted to get her a little something. I was going to get her a photography book, since her friends chipped in to get her a camera, and Mr. Adorable got her a lens and some camera equipment. But, all the books I found that were real cool were slightly out of my price range. (I hate being a student sometimes!!) Then I found these really cool/hilarious pint glasses. They’re “demotivational” glasses, with pictures and saying on them. Like, the one with a fish jumping into a bear’s mouth that says “Ambition: the journey of a thousand miles sometimes ends very, very badly.” So funny! It’s a set of 4, all with different sayings and pictures. I knew that Ms. Adorable would think they were hilarious. So, I bought them. I got home and started thinking about it. She’s turning 30. She is very close to getting engaged and married to Mr. Adorable whom she lives with. She’s a successful dentist. She’s an adult. While she would find them amusing, I think they’d end up in the back of her cupboard. They’re the kind of thing that girl’s should make their boyfriends pack up in boxes along with the rest of the fraternity boy paraphernalia. And I love them! I’m going to use them along with my Marilyn Monroe kitsch plates and mugs. They’ll go along well with my foot tall Budweiser bottle which I use as a flower vase. They’ll match the grave-rubbing of Charles Bukowski’s grave which I have framed on my mantle. They’ll be nice along with my various Dia de los Muertos knickknacks which I have strewn about my apartment. All I need is a beer pong table, and I’m ready to start recruiting 20 year old boys for my fraternity. My fridge is sparse, except for the few condiments and Brita water filter. But don't worry, my cupboard is full of Ramen. And I have plenty of rum, wine and other alcoholic beverages. (I do, however, have plenty of chocolate and ice cream which proves that I am a girl) The thing is, I don’t really mind. I can’t imagine not having this stuff around. I don’t want to replace my Budweiser vase with crystal. I don’t want to replace my Bukowski grave-rubbing with a framed picture of flowers. I’d rather have real flowers than pictures of some. I’d rather have real flowers than floral prints on my curtains and furniture. I’d rather have real flowers than flowery wall paper. I’d rather have demotivational glasses that make me laugh than plain glasses just because I should. Bring on the frat boys!

1 week!

It’s official. New Marine is coming out to visit next week! This time next week, I’ll be with him!!!!!! I can’t even wait!!! I’m giddy with excitement. This week is going to drag and fly by. It’ll be a weird combination. It’ll feel like it’s dragging as I’m sitting in classes or at work. Yet, it’ll fly by when I have time to prepare. I have so much to do: clean my apartment, clean my car, pick the perfect “nice to actually meet you in person, I think I love you” outfit, grocery shop for some of his favorite snacks and foods (like, I know he loves hummus and Greek yogurt, so I’ll stock up on both), clean my apartment again (cause I probably won’t do a good enough job the first time)…. The list goes on! I finished my outlines for school this weekend, so at least I have that done. I want to worry about school as little as possible while he’s here. I also don’t want to be completely stressed after he leaves. So, I decided to be proactive and outline ahead of time. I’m such a good student (she says sarcastically). I think I’m going to be annoying to all of my friends this week as I will probably mention a billion times how excited I am. I’ll try to not be annoying. It’ll be hard, but I’ll try. I finally got around to putting in a work order at my apartment complex to fix my stove. The fan is broken, so whenever I cook, my apartment fills with smoke and the smoke alarm goes off. I figure that if he’s here and we cook dinner, I probably shouldn’t kill him from smoke inhalation. That’d be rude. I have a few surprises planned for him. For his birthday, I bought tickets for a sunset harbor cruise. I thought that’d be fun. The other idea was an all-day whale watching trip with a 2 hour stopover in Catalina, but I think the shorter 1.5 hour sunset cruise is a better option. He loves boats, and is scuba certified. Maybe I’ll look into doing that at some point in my life. I just don’t know if my back could handle it. Or, maybe I’ll just go on scuba diving trips and lounge on the boat or the beach while he plays with the fishies. I don’t really like getting my hair wet anyway. And, with high def TV, who needs to actually go under water? The colors on TV are just as vibrant. So, I’ll just watch Finding Nemo. Oh, speaking of movies, that’s something else I have to do: pick out some great movies on Netflix in case we have downtime where he just wants to chill and watch movies. He told me that I don’t need to plan a lot of things, cause he just wants to hang out with me and doesn’t care what we do. But, I want him to have such a fun time that he wants to come back again. I’m already starting the campaign for him to come back for graduation. It’d be so sad if he’s not there. But, I understand if he can’t, cause tickets are expensive and time off is hard for him to get. Plus, he has a fishing trip in May with his dad. I’d rather he have fun on that trip than worry about coming out here. Well, the non-selfish part of me would rather that. The selfish part of me wants him here obviously. I’m looking into going out to visit him after the bar. I could handle a vacation on the beaches of North Carolina. And that way, he wouldn’t even have to take time off during the day. I can easily entertain myself during the day, and then I’d have nights and weekends with him. Not bad. I guess I’m kind of rushing ahead of things; we just need to see how this trip goes. But, what’s wrong with already planning my wedding to him? Is that rushing things? He’s coming to 1 class with me, so some people will get to meet him. The coolest man on the face of the planet, aka the Judge who is my professor, will get to meet him. I guess I should say New Marine will get to meet the Judge. NBF is in that class, so they’ll meet too. And then on the 2nd Saturday he’s here, It Girl and It Boy are throwing a party at It Boy’s house so he can meet everyone. I bought a new dress for that. I know that it doesn’t matter, but I want to look nice for him. He said he’d like me even if I wore jeans and t-shirts. I told him to not worry, cause that’s mostly what I wear. But, I can do it up a few times. I’m going to meet his uncle and his mom, so I’ll need to figure out what to wear then too. I’m not worried about impressing his mom. It’s the uncle I want to like me, cause I know his opinion matters a lot to New Marine. I’m a good Catholic girl who’s about to be a lawyer. Why wouldn’t he like me?? Last night New Marine was kind of hinting around to me moving to North Carolina. I guess he’s thinking about the future just as much as I am, which is maybe why we’re a good match. Man, I really, really, really, really hope we get along just as well in person. It’ll suck if we actually can’t stand each other in person! I guess we’ll find out soon enough!

jailhouse romance

I got hit on in jail. I love saying that! I got hit on in jail. Ok, let me explain. I’ve recently started working for a new defense attorney. I absolutely love my new job. I’m working on an attempted murder case. I can’t even begin to explain how exciting it is. I mean, I know that deep down I want to Prosecute. I would love to be working on the other side of this case, trying to put away the attempted murderer. But, working defense is pretty exciting. It’s like a fun puzzle you have to figure out. And, I’m pretty good at it so far. My boss is pretty impressed. So I was at the local jail to go visit my client. Only, the jail wouldn’t let me in, because I didn’t have security clearance yet. I had to wait in the waiting room while my attorney went in to visit the client. He was in there for almost 2 hours. I sat in the sterile waiting room just waiting. And waiting. And waiting. There was a guy who came in wearing shackles. It was crazy. There was a chain around his waist and his hands were handcuffed to the chain. It looked really uncomfortable. He was a young guy. I couldn’t help but wonder what he was in for. He said to the cop who brought him in that this would be the quickest he was ever in jail. I wondered how many times he’d been in jail. I wondered how many times he would return to jail in the future. His future didn’t look so bright. I wanted to give him legal advice. Don’t say anything! Don’t answer questions. Keep your mouth shut! But, it wasn’t my place. And no, he’s not the one who hit on me. While I was sitting there minding my own business, a young attorney sat down across from me.

Him: Are you an attorney?
Me: No, a 3rd year law student.
Him: Why are you here?
Me: I’m waiting on my boss while he’s interviewing our client.
Him: They wouldn’t let you in?
Me: Nope.
Him: I like your briefcase.
Me: Thanks.

The conversation went on from there. He’s a federal defender, which he said is pretty boring, except he gets the occasional bank robber case. That’s pretty cool. Can you imagine defending Bonnie and Clyde? That’d be kind of badass. He told me that we should grab lunch. He asked if I like noodles. “You know, like Vietnamese food?” (That’s a direct quote.) He was kind of odd, but kind of amusing. I gave him my card. I figure that it can’t hurt to make business contacts, especially if I ever need a job. He emailed me yesterday and asked if I wanted to grab lunch this week. I figured that I couldn’t accept, as I don’t think New Marine would appreciate that, no matter how much I justify that it’s “business related.” I’d be pissed if he did it. I wrote back and told him that I’m sick and need to raincheck until after I’m better and catch up on school work and work work (I didn’t say it exactly like that). I figure that I could buy time until I meet New Marine. It’s always good to have back-ups.

Suckiness

Ok. So. New Marine is not perfect. I’ve found his flaw. And I think it’s one that is fatal to the relationship. I think he has a drinking problem. He doesn’t drink often. Maybe once or twice a week. It doesn’t get in the way of his work or anything. But, when he does drink, he drinks to excess. And then his temper comes out. Last night we got in this huge fight, and I’m not exactly sure what it was over. But he kept saying he was tired of me treating him like shit, and that I crossed the line. Yeah, I don’t know what I did. I was at book club with my girlfriends. He acts like I was out drinking and dancing on a bar with a bunch of naked dudes. I was with my girlfriends, most of whom are married or seriously dating, having dinner and discussing a book. Wild times. He’s mad that I didn’t tell him ahead of time that I had plans last night. He texted me that he was on his way to his buddies place for an end of the week bbq. I responded that I guess that meant we wouldn’t be talking again. (I’d barely talked to him all week, cause he’s been busy with night missions and stuff in school. Totally understandable. But, I was hoping that when he got free time that he’d make some time for me.) He responded that he should be able to talk to me if his phone charged at his friend’s house. How are we going to talk when he’s drinking at his buddy’s place? Plus, I had plans. So, when he’d be able to get around to talking to me, I’d be out. And, I’m just pissed that he expects that he can get to me whenever it’s convenient for him and that I’ll be there. I’m not at his beck and call. So, I told him to not worry about it, cause I had plans and I’d catch him some other time. (Yeah, maybe a little passive aggressive) Apparently that’s where I crossed the line. I just didn’t want to talk to him while he’s drunk at his friends place. Well, that’s what happened anyway. He started texting me while I was out and was just telling me how I crossed the line, and how I was mean and how I went from nice to bitch in one text. Like, he just kept going off. I told him that I’m sorry I upset him, but that he bummed me out too. He just kept going off though, and wouldn’t stop. He said he’s a nice guy, and I told him that he is a great guy. I was trying to calm down the situation, but to no avail. And he kept saying “What do I know? I’m just some stupid Marine.” Obviously it was his own insecurities coming out. I’ve never even implied that he’s dumb. Plus, I like him because he’s a Marine, not despite it! He was just being mean, and I asked him to stop, and he wouldn’t. So I went to bed all sad and upset. And I’m really not sure why. I don’t know if I’ll talk to him again. I called him this morning to see if he wanted to talk. He didn’t answer. I guess it’s up to him to call me. I don’t know if his pride will let him. It just seems like a lot of drama over nothing. I sometimes wonder if job fulfillment is all I need in life. Maybe I’m not cut out for dating. It just doesn’t seem to go well for me. At least this one lasted a couple months.