Warning: there is nothing funny about this post.
I just got word that my dad's friends son, who is only 6, just found out that he has cancer. SIX! He went to his grandparents house and his grandma took his for a haircut (the kid, being a surfer boy from San Clemente, had long hair). The grandma noticed a lump on his throat and called his parents to ask if they had noticed it. They had not. The kid gets taken to the doctor who says it's probably nothing, but they should biopsy it anyway. The results come back inconclusive. The doctors decide to send the sample to Stanford Medical Center just to make sure it truly was ok. What the doctors discovered was the actual opposite. They found a serious and deadly form of cancer (at this point, I'm not entirely sure what kind). Now the doctors have gone from saying it's ok to needing to do a full body scan to see if their fears of it having spread through his entire body are true. That is just one of the saddest things I've ever heard! I hate that kids get sick. They don't understand what's going on. All he knows is that he's had one scary and painful procedure done when he was at the hospital, and is scared of having to go through more. He's six! Of course now my dad's buddy and the buddy's wife blame themselves. If only they had noticed the bump. If only they had cut his hair sooner. If only that had been more observant. If only. It's not their fault though! Who expects that their child will get sick?? This buddy isn't some deadbeat dad. He works hard to provide for his wife and 3 young sons. He's a good man, and they're a good family. How could he have known? Maybe I don't completely understand his feelings, as I myself am not a parent. But I do know that blaming himself or playing the "what if" game will not make the cancer go away. I just really hope that whoever is reading this post will pray to whichever God or god you pray to, and ask for this poor little guy to be ok.
I also hope that this story makes you all stop and think for a moment. The next time someone cuts you off in traffic, or the store doesn't have your size in the pants you wanted, or that cute girl from the club blows you off, or your boss took out his frustrations on you, just stop and think about the fact that there is a 6 year old kid fighting for his life.
Wednesday, September 30, 2009
Tuesday, September 29, 2009
Big step
So, I know it's a little early in my relationship with ATC, but things are going well, so I've decided to take things to the next level. That's right everyone: I'm assigning him his own ringtone on my phone. I normally wait til I've been hanging out with a person for a few weeks to think of the perfect ringer. I have about 25 personalized ringtones (not all for guys I am/have been dating). On the one hand, a general ringer is like Christmas morning. You see the familiar wrapping of a present, but have no idea what's inside. When you only have one ringer, it could be anyone calling! It could be your boss or the boy you've been crushing on. It could be your mom or your best friend. Until you look at your phone, you have no clue who it is. How exciting! I don't like surprises. I like to hear a ringer and know exactly who it is. If I'm watching tv and I hear a specific ringer, I know immediately whether I'm going to answer it. And if it's the general ringer, I know it's not someone I talk to often, and there's really no need to answer if I'm busy. So I've been trying to think of the perfect song for ATC. He made fun of me for liking Disneyland so much, so I told him to be careful or I'd give him a Disney ringer. But, none of the songs I thought of sounded just right. A lot of them would probably just annoy me after the first time. OK, nope. He liked the show Metalocalypse when we watched it with the It Couple the other day. I could give him a song from that show, but I think that that would scare me. I mean, I like Metal, I guess. I like the show, and the music was cool in moderation (i.e. on the show), but I think that if he texted me and I was asleep and I hear this deep rumbling "Awaken, awaken, awaken" I would think that my apartment was possessed by demons. So, no metal. I thought of all the various love songs, but those all seem too schmoopy. I even considered the theme to Pee Wee's Playhouse. Nothing seemed right. I was about to give up and just think about it for a while. But then it hit me. The PERFECT song! "Radar Love" by Golden Earring. It works on so many levels. First, it's my favorite song of all times. Like seriously, best song ever! Everything about the song makes me happy. The title alone makes me happy. Second, he works with a radar, cause he's an air traffic controller! I'm so clever! Now, don't get me wrong. I don't think we have radar love. I'm not that delusional to think I'm in love with a dude after knowing him for a week. That was the one drawback to the song. But, overall, I think I'm happy with the selection. We'll see if it sticks.
Here are some of the other ringers which I have assigned to various people:
*The Comic- Whatta Man. I mean, yeah, I'm a little biased since he's my MBF (Male Best Friend), but he is seriously the greatest guy! Really. What a man.
*It Girl- Lip Gloss. You know...the song by Lil Mama. It started out as a joke. When I was trying to think of a song for her, she said "I want something cool like 'My lip gloss is cool. My lip gloss be poppin'." Sometimes she calls me when we're together just to dance to it.
*It Boy- The Spider Pig song. He's a Simpsons fan. For a while, you could count on the fact that the Simpsons movie would be on at his house every time you went to his place.
*My dad- USC fight song. Obviously.
*My sister- On The Road Again. She's a really big Willie Nelson song, and that song just makes me happy when I hear it.
*My mom- Magalena by Sergio Mendez. Yeah, I gave my mom a little Latin flavor. That song makes me happy and makes me feel like dancing which I need as a little pep before my mom starts nagging me on the phone. (Kidding mom. Love you and our phone calls.)
*PIC- Ode To Joy. This may be the oldest individual ringer I've had. It started as a joke by my saying a phone call from her was a little piece of joy. It just stuck.
*Florida- The yodel song from The Sound Of Music. I'm sure there's a better name for it, but that's what I call it. That song just cracks me up when I hear it.
I think that's most of the funny ones. I think next on the list to get a ringer is the Detective. I talk to her everyday, so it's really beyond time! I'm thinking something kinda cool and coply. Perhaps the Law & Order theme song. But for now, when you hear "Radar Love", know that I will be distracted while responding to a text.
Here are some of the other ringers which I have assigned to various people:
*The Comic- Whatta Man. I mean, yeah, I'm a little biased since he's my MBF (Male Best Friend), but he is seriously the greatest guy! Really. What a man.
*It Girl- Lip Gloss. You know...the song by Lil Mama. It started out as a joke. When I was trying to think of a song for her, she said "I want something cool like 'My lip gloss is cool. My lip gloss be poppin'." Sometimes she calls me when we're together just to dance to it.
*It Boy- The Spider Pig song. He's a Simpsons fan. For a while, you could count on the fact that the Simpsons movie would be on at his house every time you went to his place.
*My dad- USC fight song. Obviously.
*My sister- On The Road Again. She's a really big Willie Nelson song, and that song just makes me happy when I hear it.
*My mom- Magalena by Sergio Mendez. Yeah, I gave my mom a little Latin flavor. That song makes me happy and makes me feel like dancing which I need as a little pep before my mom starts nagging me on the phone. (Kidding mom. Love you and our phone calls.)
*PIC- Ode To Joy. This may be the oldest individual ringer I've had. It started as a joke by my saying a phone call from her was a little piece of joy. It just stuck.
*Florida- The yodel song from The Sound Of Music. I'm sure there's a better name for it, but that's what I call it. That song just cracks me up when I hear it.
I think that's most of the funny ones. I think next on the list to get a ringer is the Detective. I talk to her everyday, so it's really beyond time! I'm thinking something kinda cool and coply. Perhaps the Law & Order theme song. But for now, when you hear "Radar Love", know that I will be distracted while responding to a text.
Sunday, September 27, 2009
Sunday morning adventures
I’ve had the most random morning, and it’s not even 10am yet! Let’s start with my trip to CVS. Here I am, just trying to get some errands done early, thinking I’d be ahead of the curve. But, seems many other people had the same plan. There was one checker working and a line of about 8 people. I was the eighth person, cause such is my luck. The checker called another person to come help. “Christian to check please. Christian to check.” About two minutes later, a guy who I’m assuming could only be Christian comes sauntering up. The whole time he’s walking, he’s shooting the other checker the most evil, deathly stares I’ve ever seen. Yeah, Christian. I agree. She’s horrible for making you do your job! What a wench! And, of the course the irony of his name being “Christian” is only too obvious.
So Christian says “next in line” and of course the person behind the next person darts over. I’m waiting for a riot to erupt, cause Mr. Next-In-Line looked none too pleased. But, he calmly stood his ground. Besides, he already had his items on the check stand waiting to go. He was buying a really odd combination of things. He was buying a dozen eggs, a package of cough drops and a sugar free Rock Star. Of course the obvious question is: were they sugar free cough drops as well. But, sadly, that will remain one for the ages.
Then there was the sharpest dressed man. This man should be a fashion role model for the youth. He was probably 85 years old and wearing this amazing plaid suit with a bow tie. Yes, there was a bow tie. He was slightly stooped over from age. But, while you’re assuming he was purchasing a box of Depends you’d be wrong. Well, ok, he was purchasing four boxes of Kleenex. That’s kind of close to Depends. So maybe you’re only half wrong. But, what you didn’t see coming was that he also purchased two large bottles of Cutty Sark. You go grandpa! You’re gonna have THAT kind of a Sunday! I can dig it!
Next we’ll go to the Sports Fan. Mr. Sports Fan was wearing some type of football jersey. It was white with purple on it. I don’t know nearly enough about football to tell you what team that was. I only know it’s not USC, or even the Raiders or Chargers. Outside of those limited teams, it could be anyone. I’m guessing not the Browns, cause I’d put money on the fact that their jerseys are brown. Mr. Sports Fan was purchasing a 6-pack of Coors Light. If he’s showing up to a football party, I wonder if his friends are like “Oh good! The party can begin! The 6-pack of Coors Light is here!” Don’t get me wrong, I love Coors Light more than just about anything, but..I’m just saying. Oh, and he also purchased some of CVS’s finest sunglasses. He went through a few before picking out just the right pair. I hope they were polarized. I mean, if you’re spending 6.99, you want to make sure you’re getting your money’s worth!
There was a couple that I only saw leaving the store. They didn’t purchase anything. They looked very sleepy. The girl was still in her slippers. Leopard print of course. A girl who is going to wear slippers and pajamas to the store will probably only wear leopard print slippers. I would probably put money on this fact as well. The girl was on a mission. She was about 2 steps in front of the guy. I don’t know what they were looking for, but CVS did not have it. How extremely disappointing!
The final noteworthy CVS person was this chick who walked in. It was an extended walk of shame. She was still dressed up from the night before. Short black mini-dress which was skin tight. Black skyscraper high heels. Not exactly Sunday morning church clothes. Her hair was bed heady. As if she’d tried to run her fingers through it as a make-shift brush, but it wasn’t fooling anyone. The best part was that she was on her phone. I’m guessing it wasn’t her mother, but I guess you never know. “Oh my gosh. Last night was insane!” she giggled awkwardly. Whether it was an “I’m stoked and proud and own my sluttiness” giggle, or an “I hate you for letting me do too many Jaeger bombs and hook up with that nasty bro who will probably never call me again, and didn’t even buy me breakfast this morning” giggle, I don’t know. Nor am I judging. Merely, observing.
After leaving CVS to return to my house, and making mental notes of all the randomness from the morning, I pull into my parking garage. Sitting on the step of an apartment to the side, is a guy wearing a blue towel. That’s it. Well, granted, I don’t know that there wasn’t anything underneath. But, he definitely was sitting outside on the step, head in hands, looking like he was hurting, wearing only a towel. Nor shirt, no shoes, no service.
This much fun so early in the morning definitely means I can go to bed now, cause my day can’t get any more fun. Or, can it?
So Christian says “next in line” and of course the person behind the next person darts over. I’m waiting for a riot to erupt, cause Mr. Next-In-Line looked none too pleased. But, he calmly stood his ground. Besides, he already had his items on the check stand waiting to go. He was buying a really odd combination of things. He was buying a dozen eggs, a package of cough drops and a sugar free Rock Star. Of course the obvious question is: were they sugar free cough drops as well. But, sadly, that will remain one for the ages.
Then there was the sharpest dressed man. This man should be a fashion role model for the youth. He was probably 85 years old and wearing this amazing plaid suit with a bow tie. Yes, there was a bow tie. He was slightly stooped over from age. But, while you’re assuming he was purchasing a box of Depends you’d be wrong. Well, ok, he was purchasing four boxes of Kleenex. That’s kind of close to Depends. So maybe you’re only half wrong. But, what you didn’t see coming was that he also purchased two large bottles of Cutty Sark. You go grandpa! You’re gonna have THAT kind of a Sunday! I can dig it!
Next we’ll go to the Sports Fan. Mr. Sports Fan was wearing some type of football jersey. It was white with purple on it. I don’t know nearly enough about football to tell you what team that was. I only know it’s not USC, or even the Raiders or Chargers. Outside of those limited teams, it could be anyone. I’m guessing not the Browns, cause I’d put money on the fact that their jerseys are brown. Mr. Sports Fan was purchasing a 6-pack of Coors Light. If he’s showing up to a football party, I wonder if his friends are like “Oh good! The party can begin! The 6-pack of Coors Light is here!” Don’t get me wrong, I love Coors Light more than just about anything, but..I’m just saying. Oh, and he also purchased some of CVS’s finest sunglasses. He went through a few before picking out just the right pair. I hope they were polarized. I mean, if you’re spending 6.99, you want to make sure you’re getting your money’s worth!
There was a couple that I only saw leaving the store. They didn’t purchase anything. They looked very sleepy. The girl was still in her slippers. Leopard print of course. A girl who is going to wear slippers and pajamas to the store will probably only wear leopard print slippers. I would probably put money on this fact as well. The girl was on a mission. She was about 2 steps in front of the guy. I don’t know what they were looking for, but CVS did not have it. How extremely disappointing!
The final noteworthy CVS person was this chick who walked in. It was an extended walk of shame. She was still dressed up from the night before. Short black mini-dress which was skin tight. Black skyscraper high heels. Not exactly Sunday morning church clothes. Her hair was bed heady. As if she’d tried to run her fingers through it as a make-shift brush, but it wasn’t fooling anyone. The best part was that she was on her phone. I’m guessing it wasn’t her mother, but I guess you never know. “Oh my gosh. Last night was insane!” she giggled awkwardly. Whether it was an “I’m stoked and proud and own my sluttiness” giggle, or an “I hate you for letting me do too many Jaeger bombs and hook up with that nasty bro who will probably never call me again, and didn’t even buy me breakfast this morning” giggle, I don’t know. Nor am I judging. Merely, observing.
After leaving CVS to return to my house, and making mental notes of all the randomness from the morning, I pull into my parking garage. Sitting on the step of an apartment to the side, is a guy wearing a blue towel. That’s it. Well, granted, I don’t know that there wasn’t anything underneath. But, he definitely was sitting outside on the step, head in hands, looking like he was hurting, wearing only a towel. Nor shirt, no shoes, no service.
This much fun so early in the morning definitely means I can go to bed now, cause my day can’t get any more fun. Or, can it?
Saturday, September 26, 2009
Ram Appache
Check out this hilarious new blog. My dad is hilarious and you never know what he will do and/or say. We're having a blog war, so still read mine more than his. But, check his out occasionally too.
http://ramappacheagoodmangonemad.blogspot.com
http://ramappacheagoodmangonemad.blogspot.com
sunshine, lollipops and rainbows
So, I have not been abducted or anything bad. I was just waiting to update. Here we go. ATC and I decided to meet at 3rd Street Promenade outside of the Jamba Juice. Just figured it’d be an easy place. I show up, park and wait for him. He hit traffic, which is not even a big deal to me. I wanted to be there first. It’s awkward to walk up to a place and the person is already there, and they’re watching you walk. I’d probably fall or walk into someone or do something really dumb. I’d rather be there first, scope out the optimal place to sit or stand, and re-evaluate the way I’m sitting or standing to make sure I look as good as I can. Oh, the outfit. I opted to wear my trusted Levi’s, a wife beater (It Girl says I have to stop calling it a wife beater, unless it comes from a Hanes 3-pack. This is a wife beater-style top from J. Crew. Yeah, it’s just a more expensive wife beater) and my USC colored tennis shoes. I decided to go totally casual. It seemed to pay off, as he commented on how cool my kicks were. Point me.
We went to Barney’s Beanery for a few drinks. It’s funny, cause Barney’s in West Hollywood is my favorite spot. One of my best girlfriends, PIC (which stands for Partner In Crime, of course), and I go there pretty often. I used to go more when I was LA local, but it’s hard these days. I just thought it was awesome that that was the place he chose! There’s not a place where I feel more at home. Not even in my own home. I decided to class it up and order a Coors Light. Ok, that’s my favorite beer. I have no qualms about admitting that I love Coors Light and Nascar. I’m a redneck at heart. He thought it was pretty cool that I ordered a beer and that it was Coors Light. But, it’s like, I’m wearing Levi’s and a wife beater. Would you expect anything less? Maybe Pabst. Next time I’ll go with Pabst. The next few beers we ordered for each other. He’s determined to refine my beer drinking ability.
The night was awesome though! We talked, laughed, bonded for a couple hours! It was awesome! I mean..notice all the exclamation points! That’s how cool it was!!! He was a really good guy, and I didn’t feel awkward at all. I felt pretty comfortable and honest. It was nice. Of course, the first question he asked was why I limped. I was determined not to talk about that for a while, but whatever. He didn’t judge me, and I felt pretty cool opening up. We ended the night around 10 or 10:30. He had to work the next morning pretty early, and he had quite a drive ahead of him (he lives about 45 minutes north of LA). We kept our plans to hang out the next night and he said he’d call me.
The next morning (yesterday) I tried to control my crazy and not freak out when I didn’t hear from him. It really didn’t help that I was hanging out with my parents and my mom kept asking if I’d heard from him. It’s hard to convince yourself that you’re not being blown off when people keep asking if you’ve heard from someone. I just figured he was busy at work and couldn’t take a break. That sounded plausible. If I didn’t hear from him by 2:30 I’d text him, which I did. Well, I waited til about 2:45. He texted me around 3 and said that he’d forgotten his phone at home that morning. That explained it! I wasn’t getting blown off! Plus, it’s kind of my fault that he only got like 5 hours of sleep since I’d kept him out late on Thursday. So, we agreed to meet in Hollywood that night at 7.
Of course there was traffic , and I ended up being about 5 minutes late. I’m a chronically punctual person. I HATE being late! Anywhere! So, being 5 minutes late completely stressed me out. But, he was cool and said it was ok. He made it there fast. Apparently there was nobody on the 5 freeway, cause everyone was on either Sunset, Fountain or Santa Monica. We watched this sketch comedy show that was hilarious! And then we went to this really cool hole-in-the-wall bar where we had a couple drinks and appetizers. He got me this beer sampler and picked 4 beers for me to try. I liked 1 and 3 the best. I don’t remember what they were, but they were good. We talked for a couple more hours. The conversation is just really fun and easy. It was such good times! Around 12, we decided to call it a night, as I was super tired, and have to tailgate today for the USC game. (Go Trojans!!) He has a busy day too. So, we walked back to the cars (we’d parked right next to each other) and made plans to hang out tomorrow. He’s going to come down to Newport. A guy who will drive to see me? Yes please!
Let me tell you some of the cute things he’s done so far:
*Brought me a pumpkin the day we met. Yep. Showed up with this little pumpkin. I think that might be the cutest thing I’ve ever heard of in my life. It’s like, flowers or chocolates or super cheesy and unoriginal. But, who shows up with a tiny pumpkin?? That’s so amazing!! Or, maybe I’m the type of girl who finds that stuff hilarious and endearing, which is why this guy and I get along so well, cause he obviously does too.
*Said that he wouldn’t be getting his match.com guarantee, cause he doesn’t think he’ll be emailing 5 more girls this month. AWWWWW!! Of course, we also joked around about how we were online dating. I haven’t brought up to him that I want to create a cover story to tell people how we met. I guess talking about the truth on a public website isn’t really good for coming up with a cover story. Details.
*Um, despite the fact that I sound like a 13 year old girl gushing to her diary, I think everything he’s done is super cute thus far.
Oh, but let me tell you why the universe hates me. When I later checked my phone (yes, I silence my phone during dates) there was a text from The Cop. Do guys have radar?? Like, they know when you’re over it and out with a really awesome, adorable, fun guy, and so they decide to try to ruin it all by texting? Universe, I refuse to let you get me down! Mr. Bluebird is on my shoulder, and I’m soaking up the sun. Or some such sentiment that evokes the images of happiness. Sunshine, lollipops and rainbows. Yay.
We went to Barney’s Beanery for a few drinks. It’s funny, cause Barney’s in West Hollywood is my favorite spot. One of my best girlfriends, PIC (which stands for Partner In Crime, of course), and I go there pretty often. I used to go more when I was LA local, but it’s hard these days. I just thought it was awesome that that was the place he chose! There’s not a place where I feel more at home. Not even in my own home. I decided to class it up and order a Coors Light. Ok, that’s my favorite beer. I have no qualms about admitting that I love Coors Light and Nascar. I’m a redneck at heart. He thought it was pretty cool that I ordered a beer and that it was Coors Light. But, it’s like, I’m wearing Levi’s and a wife beater. Would you expect anything less? Maybe Pabst. Next time I’ll go with Pabst. The next few beers we ordered for each other. He’s determined to refine my beer drinking ability.
The night was awesome though! We talked, laughed, bonded for a couple hours! It was awesome! I mean..notice all the exclamation points! That’s how cool it was!!! He was a really good guy, and I didn’t feel awkward at all. I felt pretty comfortable and honest. It was nice. Of course, the first question he asked was why I limped. I was determined not to talk about that for a while, but whatever. He didn’t judge me, and I felt pretty cool opening up. We ended the night around 10 or 10:30. He had to work the next morning pretty early, and he had quite a drive ahead of him (he lives about 45 minutes north of LA). We kept our plans to hang out the next night and he said he’d call me.
The next morning (yesterday) I tried to control my crazy and not freak out when I didn’t hear from him. It really didn’t help that I was hanging out with my parents and my mom kept asking if I’d heard from him. It’s hard to convince yourself that you’re not being blown off when people keep asking if you’ve heard from someone. I just figured he was busy at work and couldn’t take a break. That sounded plausible. If I didn’t hear from him by 2:30 I’d text him, which I did. Well, I waited til about 2:45. He texted me around 3 and said that he’d forgotten his phone at home that morning. That explained it! I wasn’t getting blown off! Plus, it’s kind of my fault that he only got like 5 hours of sleep since I’d kept him out late on Thursday. So, we agreed to meet in Hollywood that night at 7.
Of course there was traffic , and I ended up being about 5 minutes late. I’m a chronically punctual person. I HATE being late! Anywhere! So, being 5 minutes late completely stressed me out. But, he was cool and said it was ok. He made it there fast. Apparently there was nobody on the 5 freeway, cause everyone was on either Sunset, Fountain or Santa Monica. We watched this sketch comedy show that was hilarious! And then we went to this really cool hole-in-the-wall bar where we had a couple drinks and appetizers. He got me this beer sampler and picked 4 beers for me to try. I liked 1 and 3 the best. I don’t remember what they were, but they were good. We talked for a couple more hours. The conversation is just really fun and easy. It was such good times! Around 12, we decided to call it a night, as I was super tired, and have to tailgate today for the USC game. (Go Trojans!!) He has a busy day too. So, we walked back to the cars (we’d parked right next to each other) and made plans to hang out tomorrow. He’s going to come down to Newport. A guy who will drive to see me? Yes please!
Let me tell you some of the cute things he’s done so far:
*Brought me a pumpkin the day we met. Yep. Showed up with this little pumpkin. I think that might be the cutest thing I’ve ever heard of in my life. It’s like, flowers or chocolates or super cheesy and unoriginal. But, who shows up with a tiny pumpkin?? That’s so amazing!! Or, maybe I’m the type of girl who finds that stuff hilarious and endearing, which is why this guy and I get along so well, cause he obviously does too.
*Said that he wouldn’t be getting his match.com guarantee, cause he doesn’t think he’ll be emailing 5 more girls this month. AWWWWW!! Of course, we also joked around about how we were online dating. I haven’t brought up to him that I want to create a cover story to tell people how we met. I guess talking about the truth on a public website isn’t really good for coming up with a cover story. Details.
*Um, despite the fact that I sound like a 13 year old girl gushing to her diary, I think everything he’s done is super cute thus far.
Oh, but let me tell you why the universe hates me. When I later checked my phone (yes, I silence my phone during dates) there was a text from The Cop. Do guys have radar?? Like, they know when you’re over it and out with a really awesome, adorable, fun guy, and so they decide to try to ruin it all by texting? Universe, I refuse to let you get me down! Mr. Bluebird is on my shoulder, and I’m soaking up the sun. Or some such sentiment that evokes the images of happiness. Sunshine, lollipops and rainbows. Yay.
Thursday, September 24, 2009
more breaking news
ATC called me last night and said he can't wait until Friday, and that we should hang out Thursday. And, that he still wants to hang out on Thursday too. This guy seems too good. Does he have writers? Did he step out of a Hugh Grant movie? I'm thinking it's one of two things: 1) I've finally met a guy who appreciates the total catch that I am and can't wait to snag me, 2) He's an impatient online serial killer. That second one would suck. But, I've led a good ilfe I guess. Plus, I've already told a couple cops I work with and the Detective, so if I don't return home, they'll start a search. He did offer to come over and meet my parents though if that would put them at ease. But, if theory 2 is true, then he'd do that just to wipe out the entire fam at once. If my blogs sound odd starting tomorrow, it means theory 2 came true, and that he's assumed my identity as Single Girl. How creepy would that be??
Ok. I know that I'm starting to get a little out there, even for me. I'll reel it back in. I really am excited for tonight. I've had an extensive email thread with Social Butterfly, It Girl and the Comic discussing the recent change in events and we've come up with suitable clothing tonight. I'm very fashion unsavvy, and need all the help I can get. As Social Butterfly says: I need to run all my outfit choices by her, so that my wardrobe won't scare him off right away. Sadly, I had to agree with her. Who knew that muumuus from the 70's were not fashionable??
Ok. I know that I'm starting to get a little out there, even for me. I'll reel it back in. I really am excited for tonight. I've had an extensive email thread with Social Butterfly, It Girl and the Comic discussing the recent change in events and we've come up with suitable clothing tonight. I'm very fashion unsavvy, and need all the help I can get. As Social Butterfly says: I need to run all my outfit choices by her, so that my wardrobe won't scare him off right away. Sadly, I had to agree with her. Who knew that muumuus from the 70's were not fashionable??
Wednesday, September 23, 2009
breaking news
I have a date on Friday. I’ve decided to accept an invitation to spend Friday evening with the Air Traffic Controller. I’m actually pretty excited! He emailed me a few times yesterday. We had a pretty good back and forth going. Then after he got off work he emailed me his phone number and said I could text him if I wanted to. I responded that I’m an old fashioned kind of girl, and I don’t call/text boys first. Ok, some of my friends are laughing right now, but it’s kind of true. I’d prefer a guy to text or call me first. I’m just impatient. But, I’m trying to be patient these days, and I meant it when I said it to ATC. I also told him that I was about to hit the showers, cause I’d just gotten back from the gym. After my shower, I had a text waiting from him. We exchanged a couple texts back and forth and then he asked if he could call me. I have to say, I’m impressed with his manners. He’s not overbearing and or coming on too strong. I mean, maybe I was busy doing my nails and couldn’t talk right then. It was nice of him to ask. I made some sarcastic remark back, which he took as a yes. I meant it as a yes, but couldn’t make it so easy for him by just saying yes. It seems like this guy kind of gets me so far. Gold star for him.
We ended up talking for two hours. It was maybe one of the best first phone calls I’ve had. He was funny and quick and smart. He let me ramble and waited patiently til I was done. He also didn’t mind that I had already facebook stalked him. I figured I may as well be upfront with him. A guy I date has to put up with my crazy. Well, then since he handled that so well, I figured I’d push it a little further and ask who the girl in all his pictures was (there’s a girl in most of his pictures). Hey, you can’t blame a girl for being curious right? (My mom is getting angry as she reads this, I can tell. She’s always told me that I need to not be so aggressive. She calls it the Mack Truck approach. I come on like a big truck, when I need to act more like a sports car. My mom is telling me to be fast I think.) He said the girl is his best friend. I am totally fine with that! I have my own male best friend, The Comic, so I firmly believe in having close friends of the opposite gender to bounce ideas off of and whatnot. Unfortunately, my male bff is more chick than I am, but whatever. (There Comic, I gave you a mention! Am I your favorite blog again?? Whiner!) I think that’s part of what I dig about this dude. His friends all look like fun, normal people, like my friends. I think we’d all get along. That’s a must (I’ll get into my Grease analysis later). So, he asked me if I wanted to hang out on Friday. I was supposed to go to this awards ceremony at school and this social mixer thing after. But, I think hanging out with this guy sounds way more fun, so I said sure. I know, I broke another rule. But, he asked me out before Wednesday for the weekend, so I followed one rule at least! Of course my mind began racing, trying to figure out what I’m going to wear. After a group email with It Girl and Social Butterfly this morning, we have it figured out. Phew!
As for the Grease analysis. I’ve come up with the theory that my life is much like Grease 2. Here’s why. My friends who I spend a lot of my weekend time with, It Girl, Mrs. Newlywed, and Ms. Baby Talker are all dating friends. That’s why those girls are friends. So, they’re like the Pink Ladies, and the guys are the T-Birds. Well, I spend time with the girls, so I’m like a Pink Lady too. But I’m not dating a T-Bird. It’s like Grease 2, because I’m going to have to find my own guy who’s then going to be inducted into the T-Birds, much like Stephanie Zinone did with Michael. My name’s even Stephanie, so it’s perfect!! I want a C-O-O-L R-I-D-E-R. Cooooool Rider. (Sidenote: did you know that the working title of Grease 2 was “Son of Grease”? I’m glad that didn’t stick.)
Wish me good luck for Friday!
We ended up talking for two hours. It was maybe one of the best first phone calls I’ve had. He was funny and quick and smart. He let me ramble and waited patiently til I was done. He also didn’t mind that I had already facebook stalked him. I figured I may as well be upfront with him. A guy I date has to put up with my crazy. Well, then since he handled that so well, I figured I’d push it a little further and ask who the girl in all his pictures was (there’s a girl in most of his pictures). Hey, you can’t blame a girl for being curious right? (My mom is getting angry as she reads this, I can tell. She’s always told me that I need to not be so aggressive. She calls it the Mack Truck approach. I come on like a big truck, when I need to act more like a sports car. My mom is telling me to be fast I think.) He said the girl is his best friend. I am totally fine with that! I have my own male best friend, The Comic, so I firmly believe in having close friends of the opposite gender to bounce ideas off of and whatnot. Unfortunately, my male bff is more chick than I am, but whatever. (There Comic, I gave you a mention! Am I your favorite blog again?? Whiner!) I think that’s part of what I dig about this dude. His friends all look like fun, normal people, like my friends. I think we’d all get along. That’s a must (I’ll get into my Grease analysis later). So, he asked me if I wanted to hang out on Friday. I was supposed to go to this awards ceremony at school and this social mixer thing after. But, I think hanging out with this guy sounds way more fun, so I said sure. I know, I broke another rule. But, he asked me out before Wednesday for the weekend, so I followed one rule at least! Of course my mind began racing, trying to figure out what I’m going to wear. After a group email with It Girl and Social Butterfly this morning, we have it figured out. Phew!
As for the Grease analysis. I’ve come up with the theory that my life is much like Grease 2. Here’s why. My friends who I spend a lot of my weekend time with, It Girl, Mrs. Newlywed, and Ms. Baby Talker are all dating friends. That’s why those girls are friends. So, they’re like the Pink Ladies, and the guys are the T-Birds. Well, I spend time with the girls, so I’m like a Pink Lady too. But I’m not dating a T-Bird. It’s like Grease 2, because I’m going to have to find my own guy who’s then going to be inducted into the T-Birds, much like Stephanie Zinone did with Michael. My name’s even Stephanie, so it’s perfect!! I want a C-O-O-L R-I-D-E-R. Cooooool Rider. (Sidenote: did you know that the working title of Grease 2 was “Son of Grease”? I’m glad that didn’t stick.)
Wish me good luck for Friday!
Tuesday, September 22, 2009
gym
Whose cruel joke was it to place so many mirrors in the gym? Do I really need to see what I look like as I’m on the treadmill. I’m not looking at myself thinking “good form, nice stride.” I’m thinking “wow, that’s what I look like when I run? Oh my gosh, I sweat there??” Today I was in the corner, right where 2 mirrors met. The angles those mirrors showed…wow. I’m at the gym so that I’ll want to look at myself in the mirror later. Don’t need to see myself as I’m trying to get to that point. Thanks though, 24-hour fitness. Plus, the mirrors lead to lots of uncomfortable moments. I ended up making eye contact with this girl a couple rows back, who was working out on the elliptical machine. It was one of those accidental things, where I think we were both just looking around. And then we kept making eye contact. It was weird. It's like, I don't want to stare at myself. But if you look around, you make weird eye contact. Where are you supposed to look?? I ended up just looking down. Oh, there was also a problem with the fact that my ear phones kept falling out. Do I have misshaped ear tubes? Or maybe my head wobbles too much when I walk? I didn't think it did, but maybe. Or maybe my ears sweat. Is that even possible? The stupid things wouldn't stay in. So then I am trying to walk and hold them in, and that looks awkward. Here I am holding in my ear phones, making weird eye contact with people. Maybe I'll show up with giant dj ear phones: the kind that encompass the entire ear! That wouldn't be weird, right? (sidenote that only a few people will understand: when writing "dj ear phones" I wrote "djk ear phones". I guess writing about awkward situations and using the letters "dj" it just seemed natural to add the "k". Oops.)
I started out my routine a little differently today. Normally I either do the treadmill or the bike for the entire time. But yesterday I was hanging out with my family to watch football, and my dad is talking about his new gym. He and my mom recently joined Golds gym, so my dad, who has gone for 3 days, fancies himself a fitness guru. “So, I do trip sevens plus a five at trip six and a seven on the stair stepper.” I think we all stared at him for about a minute and a half before my sister’s boyfriend says “I’m sorry, was that English?” We all burst into laughter. Mind you, this is only the Boyfriend’s second time hanging out with my parents, so it was a risky move. However, in my family, if you don’t crack jokes and jump in to make fun of funny situations, we’ll smell fear and pounce on you. So, my dad tries to explain that it’s gym talk, and we are just so uneducated for not knowing. “Trip sevens plus a five” means three intervals at seven minutes each plus 1 interval of five minutes. “At trip six and a seven” meant the level. “Why didn’t you just say ’26 six minutes’?” my sister asked. And again, my dad acts like we’re all just ignorant. It was hilarious!
So today I decided to try out the stair stepper. The whole time I’m laughing thinking about my dad’s trip sevens. I only lasted for three minutes on that machine. I completely underestimated the trip sevens.
I started out my routine a little differently today. Normally I either do the treadmill or the bike for the entire time. But yesterday I was hanging out with my family to watch football, and my dad is talking about his new gym. He and my mom recently joined Golds gym, so my dad, who has gone for 3 days, fancies himself a fitness guru. “So, I do trip sevens plus a five at trip six and a seven on the stair stepper.” I think we all stared at him for about a minute and a half before my sister’s boyfriend says “I’m sorry, was that English?” We all burst into laughter. Mind you, this is only the Boyfriend’s second time hanging out with my parents, so it was a risky move. However, in my family, if you don’t crack jokes and jump in to make fun of funny situations, we’ll smell fear and pounce on you. So, my dad tries to explain that it’s gym talk, and we are just so uneducated for not knowing. “Trip sevens plus a five” means three intervals at seven minutes each plus 1 interval of five minutes. “At trip six and a seven” meant the level. “Why didn’t you just say ’26 six minutes’?” my sister asked. And again, my dad acts like we’re all just ignorant. It was hilarious!
So today I decided to try out the stair stepper. The whole time I’m laughing thinking about my dad’s trip sevens. I only lasted for three minutes on that machine. I completely underestimated the trip sevens.
more updates
Of course when I decide that I'm going to cancel my match account, another interesting guy emails me. This guy is Air Traffic Controller. Used to be a Marine, and moved out from New York to this little place called Leona Valley (which I'm sure most people have never heard of. I only know about it because my dad grew up there.). Oh, and he's 100% Sicilian. Check, check and check. Yes please. His email was actually pretty witty. Threw me a bunch of questions: morning bird or night owl; sushi or eww raw fish!; sky dive or push my friends out first; Starbucks or Jamba Juice. I felt like he actually put a little time into his email, though you know it's something cute he thought of many, many, many profiles ago. But, he also mentioned that he loved my profile, and I'm a sucker for flattery! Plus, he's a USC fan, so you know I'm smitten. Since I've decided to end my profile for a while, I gave him my email address and told him he could respond to that. I know it's only been a week, but I don't think I can handle having it up right now. There's just too much going on with school and work that I don't have time to truly devote to that endeavor. I'm going to postpone the internet thing for a while, I've decided.
The first guy emailed me again and asked when we could hang out. I responded "Don't you think it's odd that I don't even know your name or what you do for a living?" which actually means, "I think it's odd!!" We'll see if he responds to that. I have not given him my email address and may have to just let my profile disappear on that guy.
The Teacher is still in the running. His emails really amuse me. He seems like a pretty normal guy, which I guess makes him abnormal. I'm a little worried about his love of the University of Texas. My sister's boyfriend is already a UT fan, and if I start dating a UT fan, there may be a mutiny on this ship! I think my family has a "1 traitor" limit. I know that if I go home and tell my dad "Dad, an Italian USC loving Air Traffic Controller, or a Texas fan who is a Teacher" he'd automatically go with the first guy. Actually, that's not entirely true. First he'd say "I don't care." Then when my mom nagged him enough into responding, he'd go with the first guy.
Last, but not least, and certainly most persistent is the Computer guy. (He works in IT and I met him on a computer..so it works both ways.) I liked talking to this guy, but he's already smothering me. And, for me to say that, you know it's a lot of contact!! He ims me ALLL the time. So much so that I actually blocked him for a couple hours this morning so I could get some peace. I gave him my number cause we were gonna do a "first phone call", but I told him I was too tired last night and he said "How about you just get ready for bed and then call me just to say goodnight?" Um, how about you stop being so creepy? I mean, I always say I want someone in my life so I have someone to say goodnight to. But, that's for after I actually know him, and we've had a phone call saying hello. I think he's trying to be cute, but it's coming off as weird. Don't get me wrong, I do like attention, and I like a guy who wants to talk to me. But, when it's nonstop and we haven't even hung out once yet...eeek! Our conversations are fun and all, but it's starting to make me not want to hang out with him. The plus side: at least it's showing me what not to do myself in future relationships. Now I see how things I thought were cute (i.e. texting in the morning just to say hi) can come off as really, really creepy. And annoying. Makes a cool person instantly less cool. Oops.
The first guy emailed me again and asked when we could hang out. I responded "Don't you think it's odd that I don't even know your name or what you do for a living?" which actually means, "I think it's odd!!" We'll see if he responds to that. I have not given him my email address and may have to just let my profile disappear on that guy.
The Teacher is still in the running. His emails really amuse me. He seems like a pretty normal guy, which I guess makes him abnormal. I'm a little worried about his love of the University of Texas. My sister's boyfriend is already a UT fan, and if I start dating a UT fan, there may be a mutiny on this ship! I think my family has a "1 traitor" limit. I know that if I go home and tell my dad "Dad, an Italian USC loving Air Traffic Controller, or a Texas fan who is a Teacher" he'd automatically go with the first guy. Actually, that's not entirely true. First he'd say "I don't care." Then when my mom nagged him enough into responding, he'd go with the first guy.
Last, but not least, and certainly most persistent is the Computer guy. (He works in IT and I met him on a computer..so it works both ways.) I liked talking to this guy, but he's already smothering me. And, for me to say that, you know it's a lot of contact!! He ims me ALLL the time. So much so that I actually blocked him for a couple hours this morning so I could get some peace. I gave him my number cause we were gonna do a "first phone call", but I told him I was too tired last night and he said "How about you just get ready for bed and then call me just to say goodnight?" Um, how about you stop being so creepy? I mean, I always say I want someone in my life so I have someone to say goodnight to. But, that's for after I actually know him, and we've had a phone call saying hello. I think he's trying to be cute, but it's coming off as weird. Don't get me wrong, I do like attention, and I like a guy who wants to talk to me. But, when it's nonstop and we haven't even hung out once yet...eeek! Our conversations are fun and all, but it's starting to make me not want to hang out with him. The plus side: at least it's showing me what not to do myself in future relationships. Now I see how things I thought were cute (i.e. texting in the morning just to say hi) can come off as really, really creepy. And annoying. Makes a cool person instantly less cool. Oops.
Monday, September 21, 2009
match update
How about an update on my match.com experiment? Well, it’s been a few days. So far, mostly weirdos have been emailing or winking at me. There was one guy who was ok. His profile was pretty amusing. But, his emails were pretty boring. It’s like these guys put all of their energy into their profiles, and try to come off as witty, but then they feel like they don’t have to put in effort to the emails. He wasn’t nearly as funny as I’d hoped. After only 2 emails back and forth, which were random jokes and nothing of substance, he asked if he could have my number or if we could meet for coffee. I haven’t even found out what he does for a living, let alone what his name is! How awkward will that be? Trying to meet someone when I don’t even know his name? I ran this by my newest girlfriend, the Detective. She’s this totally badass, tough and beautiful detective I met at my work. She’s a total ball buster though, so I joke around that she’s gonna toughen me up a bit. Boy could I use toughening! Like, if I had known her when the Manic Depressive Alcoholic and I broke up, there’s no way she would have let me sit around moping for a while. She would have kicked my ass into gear, and made me get over it. And, I would have done it, cause, she carries a gun. Not that my other friends didn’t try, cause Lord bless them, they did! But again…she carries a gun. So I was talking to the Detective about this random dude asking me out to coffee, and she said “coffee isn’t a first date, it’s an audition. Drinks means he’s too busy for love and dinner means he’s in love.” I kind of agree with her.
But, as I went on tonight to get some funny messages that I’ve gotten (well, I think they’re funny, though I don’t think they were intended to be received that way), I found an email from a guy who may actually be interesting. A high school teacher. I think I could dig that. He has a love for Chuck Norris, and appreciated that one of my pictures on my profile is of me doing the robot. When creating my profile, I figured that any guy who I will date has to be aware that I love the robot. If he doesn’t understand that, he won’t ever understand me. I think that’s why only the weirdos email me though. Maybe I should have thought that through though. I guess the robot is something I could have brought up on the second date. That’s good to know for future endeavors. In my email back to the teacher, I said “Did you know that when Chuck Norris bleeds, oak trees sprout up from where the blood fell?” I mean, I do know the 400 facts about the world’s greatest human. Chuck Norris holds a special place in my heart, so I kind of dig that High School Teacher loves him too. Then again, who doesn’t? How could you not love Walker Texas Ranger? I don’t think it’s humanly possible, unless maybe you’re communist. They’re just afraid of Chuck Norris. A guy who loves Chuck Norris and appreciates the robot: do I hear wedding bells??
I think overall, my experience on match hasn’t been anything to make me want to shell out the 41 bucks for a real membership. I’d rather go visit Little Sister on Tuesday and get $10 designer jeans (Little Sister is a designer for a major label, so we’re going to buy samples and stuff) instead of paying to get random emails from random guys. If High School Teacher writes me back and I’m still amused by him, I may give him the fake email address I created to sign-up on match with. Well, it’s not a fake address, in that it does actually accept emails and it is actually mine. But, it’s not my normal email address I give to people I know, or even the one I put on resumes. (I have 5 email addresses, all for different reasons) I think it gives me a feeling of accomplishment to have to check so many different inboxes. However, they’re usually all just full of spam. And it’s more of an inconvenience than anything else. One of these days, I may consider consolidation.
Oh, and while I was reading the email from High School Teacher, a guy who emailed me 3 days ago (who I never responded to) imed me. But, in the hopes that it would be a fun story for the blog, I responded. And, he actually ended up being pretty cool. We chatted online for a couple hours. It was overall a pretty fun conversation. I did tell him that if we met and hit it off, I would deny having met him online. He asked if our first date could be watching True Blood Season 2. That’s especially odd, because the Cop wanted to watch True Blood for our first date. Was there a man rule that came out in 2009 saying that True Blood is the best idea for a first date? I told this dude that we could hold that off for several dates (if we make it that far), and maybe do something more neutral, like go to the Fun Zone and play arcade games. I don’t want just a coffee audition.
But, as I went on tonight to get some funny messages that I’ve gotten (well, I think they’re funny, though I don’t think they were intended to be received that way), I found an email from a guy who may actually be interesting. A high school teacher. I think I could dig that. He has a love for Chuck Norris, and appreciated that one of my pictures on my profile is of me doing the robot. When creating my profile, I figured that any guy who I will date has to be aware that I love the robot. If he doesn’t understand that, he won’t ever understand me. I think that’s why only the weirdos email me though. Maybe I should have thought that through though. I guess the robot is something I could have brought up on the second date. That’s good to know for future endeavors. In my email back to the teacher, I said “Did you know that when Chuck Norris bleeds, oak trees sprout up from where the blood fell?” I mean, I do know the 400 facts about the world’s greatest human. Chuck Norris holds a special place in my heart, so I kind of dig that High School Teacher loves him too. Then again, who doesn’t? How could you not love Walker Texas Ranger? I don’t think it’s humanly possible, unless maybe you’re communist. They’re just afraid of Chuck Norris. A guy who loves Chuck Norris and appreciates the robot: do I hear wedding bells??
I think overall, my experience on match hasn’t been anything to make me want to shell out the 41 bucks for a real membership. I’d rather go visit Little Sister on Tuesday and get $10 designer jeans (Little Sister is a designer for a major label, so we’re going to buy samples and stuff) instead of paying to get random emails from random guys. If High School Teacher writes me back and I’m still amused by him, I may give him the fake email address I created to sign-up on match with. Well, it’s not a fake address, in that it does actually accept emails and it is actually mine. But, it’s not my normal email address I give to people I know, or even the one I put on resumes. (I have 5 email addresses, all for different reasons) I think it gives me a feeling of accomplishment to have to check so many different inboxes. However, they’re usually all just full of spam. And it’s more of an inconvenience than anything else. One of these days, I may consider consolidation.
Oh, and while I was reading the email from High School Teacher, a guy who emailed me 3 days ago (who I never responded to) imed me. But, in the hopes that it would be a fun story for the blog, I responded. And, he actually ended up being pretty cool. We chatted online for a couple hours. It was overall a pretty fun conversation. I did tell him that if we met and hit it off, I would deny having met him online. He asked if our first date could be watching True Blood Season 2. That’s especially odd, because the Cop wanted to watch True Blood for our first date. Was there a man rule that came out in 2009 saying that True Blood is the best idea for a first date? I told this dude that we could hold that off for several dates (if we make it that far), and maybe do something more neutral, like go to the Fun Zone and play arcade games. I don’t want just a coffee audition.
Sunday, September 20, 2009
balloon arches
Today I learned the fine art of balloon art making. I went with It Girl to Brea to make a balloon arch at her church for an event they were having. (Don’t worry fellow Catholics, I wasn’t cheating on you. Just went to help with the preparation.) I learned a few things about myself today.
First, patience is not my strong point. It is kind of awkward tying multiple balloons together to put them into arch formation. I was an expert balloon blower-upper though. But, that’s just because the helium tank does most of the work. There were so many kids running around playing with the balloons. What is it about balloons that make kids so excited? Granted, I wanted to play balloon volleyball with them too, but that’s just because I really would have rather done anything but tie any more balloons together.
Second, I learned that I am most likely going to hell. Tying balloons together can be frustrating. A certain expletive escaped my lips at one point and I thought “Oh great. Not only did I cuss in front of children, but it was also inside a church.” And, it’s not like I can ask my priest for forgiveness cause he’ll probably say “So you can help another church with their fundraisers, yet you’ve never helped out your own?” I did tell It Girl that I wished the children were not allowed where we were putting balloons into arch formation because cussing would make the job so much better. I guess I still had the issue of being in a church to contend with.
The whole experience was fun though. It Girl’s sister, Little Sister, showed up. She has the natural ability to make any situation fun. She’s a fashion designer and has more energy and feistiness than she knows what to do with. She’s dating a cop, so obviously I think that’s cool. Though, I’m wondering why she’s never thought to bring her cop boyfriend’s cop friends around. Hopefully that situation will be rectified soon. After the balloon arch making, we went back to It Couple’s spot and talked about relationships and stuff. Well, we talked about how boys and girls can’t communicate properly. Like, in a fight, a boy usually wants space, and a girl will think it’s a good idea to call him 45 times. Oh, most girls don’t do that? It’s like, logically, if a guy doesn’t answer the first time, he probably won’t answer the 22nd time, and definitely not the 44th time. But, when in a fight, who thinks logically? Girls (read: I) want to try to fix it right away, and think my incessant calling will come off as caring and helpful, not as stalkerish. It Guy said that guys just need a little space to cool down and then things will come off. I guess that makes sense. Though, I say that now. Ask me if I follow that advice next time I’m fighting with a beau. I’d put my money on “no.”
Here’s a recap of what I learned today:
*How to make a balloon arch
*Guys don’t like stalker girlfriends
And most importantly:
*Little Sister is a source of potential cop boyfriends for me
First, patience is not my strong point. It is kind of awkward tying multiple balloons together to put them into arch formation. I was an expert balloon blower-upper though. But, that’s just because the helium tank does most of the work. There were so many kids running around playing with the balloons. What is it about balloons that make kids so excited? Granted, I wanted to play balloon volleyball with them too, but that’s just because I really would have rather done anything but tie any more balloons together.
Second, I learned that I am most likely going to hell. Tying balloons together can be frustrating. A certain expletive escaped my lips at one point and I thought “Oh great. Not only did I cuss in front of children, but it was also inside a church.” And, it’s not like I can ask my priest for forgiveness cause he’ll probably say “So you can help another church with their fundraisers, yet you’ve never helped out your own?” I did tell It Girl that I wished the children were not allowed where we were putting balloons into arch formation because cussing would make the job so much better. I guess I still had the issue of being in a church to contend with.
The whole experience was fun though. It Girl’s sister, Little Sister, showed up. She has the natural ability to make any situation fun. She’s a fashion designer and has more energy and feistiness than she knows what to do with. She’s dating a cop, so obviously I think that’s cool. Though, I’m wondering why she’s never thought to bring her cop boyfriend’s cop friends around. Hopefully that situation will be rectified soon. After the balloon arch making, we went back to It Couple’s spot and talked about relationships and stuff. Well, we talked about how boys and girls can’t communicate properly. Like, in a fight, a boy usually wants space, and a girl will think it’s a good idea to call him 45 times. Oh, most girls don’t do that? It’s like, logically, if a guy doesn’t answer the first time, he probably won’t answer the 22nd time, and definitely not the 44th time. But, when in a fight, who thinks logically? Girls (read: I) want to try to fix it right away, and think my incessant calling will come off as caring and helpful, not as stalkerish. It Guy said that guys just need a little space to cool down and then things will come off. I guess that makes sense. Though, I say that now. Ask me if I follow that advice next time I’m fighting with a beau. I’d put my money on “no.”
Here’s a recap of what I learned today:
*How to make a balloon arch
*Guys don’t like stalker girlfriends
And most importantly:
*Little Sister is a source of potential cop boyfriends for me
ice cream sandwich dreams
Do you ever have those days where you’re just drained and want to sit on your couch and watch tv? That was me today. I didn’t sleep well last night, so I’ve been drained all day. All I wanted to do was come home, put on the movie Once and make a cookie/ice cream sandwich. (I realized I have cookies, and I have ice cream, so why haven’t the two met in a delicious sandwichy dessert??) But, as I was on the way home from watching USC die a horrible, painful, slow, traumatizing death (oh, and watching 2 of our arch-enemies, Texas and Notre Dame, win) I got a text from It Girl who wanted me to go to the Newlywed’s house. I’d promised I would earlier in the week, but had decided that I was going to just go home now. I knew they would understand. Besides, I’d gotten in a crazy fight with a chicken wing today (which the chicken wing won), and my pants bore the tragic evidence of said fight. For some reason, I am the messiest eater who ever lived! It’s actually a weird anomaly if I don’t spill something all over myself or get it in my hair or all over my face. I should wear a bib whenever I eat. Literally. And if a guy ever suggests dinner as a first date, I try to avoid it. I don’t want him turned off by catsup (ketchup?) and mustard all over my face on a first date. I guess I could always order a salad and try to eat that nicely. But, I don’t want to be that girl who orders a salad on a first date. There’s nothing wrong with girls who eat salad, but since I will almost always choose a burger or pizza or tacos over a salad, I can’t be a poser. You’re supposed to show the read you on first dates, right? But I digress.
Since it was all friends over at their house, and since they live literally across the street, I figured I’d stop by for a minute. Plus, they needed me to even out the ration of couples to single people. There were 2 couples and 3 single girls before I got there. Actually, right before I got there, 2 of Mrs. Newlywed’s work friends showed up. So single girls win. Though, I can’t help but wonder why we don’t know any single guys.
I’m glad I went over there. First we all sat around chatting. Then the boys went outside, and the girls all started sharing some crazy stories. It’s fun talking to other people and realizing that you’re not the only one who gets into some crazy situations. The girls were all pretty and dressed cute and ready to go out. I was grungy and just wanted to come home. I mean, I was having a great time, but I couldn’t stop thinking about my ice cream cookie sandwich. I guess that’s a bad thing, when you want to go home on a Saturday night cause you’re dreaming about dessert. But, I never claimed to be the healthiest eater. And, when something pops into my brain, I fixate on it. It’s the determined lawyer in me, I guess. I’m in it to win it. And tonight’s prize was deliciousness. So the girls (aside for It Girl) all went out to a club. They’re probably dancing and flirting with boys as I type. I sat around talking with the It Couple and Mr. Newlywed for a while. Then we decided to call it a night. It Couple drove me home, even though it literally is across the street and I told them how I don’t mind walking, cause I could totally stab a guy with my keys if he tries to steal me. But, they insisted. And I was too tired to put up much of a fight. Plus, I would really never turn down a free ride. Well, unless it was from a stranger. I guess I’d turn down that free ride.
So, now I’m exhausted and ready to drag my sore, tired body to bed. But, first, I did make myself that ice cream cookie. There isn’t anything wrong with downing 500 calories and a million grams of sugar right before bedtime, right?
On a complete random sidenote: I’m going to go run on the treadmill in the morning.
Since it was all friends over at their house, and since they live literally across the street, I figured I’d stop by for a minute. Plus, they needed me to even out the ration of couples to single people. There were 2 couples and 3 single girls before I got there. Actually, right before I got there, 2 of Mrs. Newlywed’s work friends showed up. So single girls win. Though, I can’t help but wonder why we don’t know any single guys.
I’m glad I went over there. First we all sat around chatting. Then the boys went outside, and the girls all started sharing some crazy stories. It’s fun talking to other people and realizing that you’re not the only one who gets into some crazy situations. The girls were all pretty and dressed cute and ready to go out. I was grungy and just wanted to come home. I mean, I was having a great time, but I couldn’t stop thinking about my ice cream cookie sandwich. I guess that’s a bad thing, when you want to go home on a Saturday night cause you’re dreaming about dessert. But, I never claimed to be the healthiest eater. And, when something pops into my brain, I fixate on it. It’s the determined lawyer in me, I guess. I’m in it to win it. And tonight’s prize was deliciousness. So the girls (aside for It Girl) all went out to a club. They’re probably dancing and flirting with boys as I type. I sat around talking with the It Couple and Mr. Newlywed for a while. Then we decided to call it a night. It Couple drove me home, even though it literally is across the street and I told them how I don’t mind walking, cause I could totally stab a guy with my keys if he tries to steal me. But, they insisted. And I was too tired to put up much of a fight. Plus, I would really never turn down a free ride. Well, unless it was from a stranger. I guess I’d turn down that free ride.
So, now I’m exhausted and ready to drag my sore, tired body to bed. But, first, I did make myself that ice cream cookie. There isn’t anything wrong with downing 500 calories and a million grams of sugar right before bedtime, right?
On a complete random sidenote: I’m going to go run on the treadmill in the morning.
Saturday, September 19, 2009
disneyland
I had a realization into my singleness tonight. Here it is a Friday night, and I was home by 11:15pm. Oh, I went out alright. I met up with a couple girlfriends, and we went out and had a blast. Where’d we go, you ask? We went to the happiest place on Earth. Yep, I spent my Friday night at Disneyland! Don’t get me wrong. It was a lot of fun! It’s just, am I really going to meet anyone dateable at Disneyland? Maybe if I was 15. There were lots of acne-ridden, droopy pants wearing nearly prepubescent teens there. Or, maybe if I was looking to date a dad. There were lots of men with kids. The strange thing is, most of the dads were married, or at least there with their significant others. Yet, when the woman turned her back, devoted dad would smile or wink or something creepy. Ok, this happened like once. But, still. Ew. I wouldn’t mind dating a man with kids. It’s just that I would prefer him to not be married or dating someone already. I’m not so into the whole polygamy thing. For starters, I’m a very jealous person (something I say I’ll work on, but probably never will). And also, I would look horrible in those long, shapeless dresses. I’ve seen documentaries on polygamist cults. I know what the ladies have to wear, and I am so not down with that. Though, having sister-wives would be nice in sharing the household chores (I would gladly take dish duty if I never had to scrub another shower or toilet). But no, don’t think I’m going to become a polygamist any time soon.
There was one dad (I’m assuming) who was alone with a kid who looked about 9. The kid looked nine. Not the dad. There was no ring on his finger, and no woman around. We made eye contact a few times. But, something happens when I make eye contact with a guy. You know how you’re supposed to smile and look friendly and approachable? Yeah, I don’t do that. I think I probably frown and look angry. “Don’t even think about looking at me again” is what I picture my expression to be. I don’t mean for it to happen. I just feel cheesy smiling, and I don’t know how to be subtle. Then my awkwardness manifests, and it’s all over. Plus, how do you hit on a guy with a kid at Disneyland. “So, have you seen Mickey yet?” Or the classic “Come here often?” It’s either “No, I’m from Nebraska” or “Yeah. I have a season pass.” And where do you go from there?
I had the option to go to a party tonight with The Comic. In fact, I’m pretty sure I told him I would go with him a couple weeks ago. But, I’m flakey. And yes, that’s another fault I probably won’t ever work on. But I was tired from a long week of work and school. I don’t think I could have handled random people at a bar tonight. If some guy came up to me, I’d probably say “Look buddy. I had a long week. I saw pictures of a dead body at work today. The only thing I’m interested in is a foot rub and a shot of tequila. Are you going to give me either? No? Then keep on moving.” And, to be honest, if I even smell alcohol right now I’d probably pass out. THAT is how tired I am. So, being tired and cranky, it’s natural that I would go to the most crowded place on Earth (that really should be Disneyland’s new slogan), where I could stand in line for 40 minutes to finally get seated on a ride that breaks down the second we’re on it. Oh and the strollers constantly bumping into the back of my legs wasn’t annoying either. Man, I AM cranky!!
I had a great time at Disneyland though. But, if I’m serious about dating, maybe I should rethink my social choices. Tonight was Disneyland. Tomorrow I’m going to a martini party at The Newlyweds’ house. It’s going to be a lot of fun. I’m predicting it’ll be mostly married people or couples in general. Mrs. Newlywed’s sister will be there, and she’s fun and single, so at least I’ll have a partner in crime. Maybe others, I don’t know yet. But, I’m really excited for it. I’m excited to go hang out with a bunch of friends and chill and relax and party all at the same time. I think that’s the thing we single girls forget from time to time. It’s awesome to be able to do whatever you want whenever you want. Like, what if I was dating a dude and I couldn’t go because he’s really into playing Canasta on Saturday night. I’d have to be like “Sorry friends, I can’t come to your party cause I’m playing Canasta with my new dude.” I don’t even know what Canasta is! However, I doubt it’s as fun as hanging out with my friends tomorrow night! So, yeah, maybe I’ll be going home alone, but at least that’s the choice I’m making myself. And if I decide to take up Canasta, that choice will be all mine as well.
Ooh, another choice I’m making: giving my phone tomorrow night to It Girl before I have any martinis. Even though I’m all girl-powery/Spice-Girls/I-don’t-need-no-man right now, I still may find it necessary to drunk text someone just to say hi. I haven’t consulted the rule book yet, but I’m pretty sure one drunk text slip-up is forgivable. Any more than that and I may get my number blocked. One of my positive traits is that I’m a planner. So I’m planning ahead: It Girl, please take my phone.
And yeah, I did just throw back to the Spice Girls just now. So tell me what you want, what you really, really want.
There was one dad (I’m assuming) who was alone with a kid who looked about 9. The kid looked nine. Not the dad. There was no ring on his finger, and no woman around. We made eye contact a few times. But, something happens when I make eye contact with a guy. You know how you’re supposed to smile and look friendly and approachable? Yeah, I don’t do that. I think I probably frown and look angry. “Don’t even think about looking at me again” is what I picture my expression to be. I don’t mean for it to happen. I just feel cheesy smiling, and I don’t know how to be subtle. Then my awkwardness manifests, and it’s all over. Plus, how do you hit on a guy with a kid at Disneyland. “So, have you seen Mickey yet?” Or the classic “Come here often?” It’s either “No, I’m from Nebraska” or “Yeah. I have a season pass.” And where do you go from there?
I had the option to go to a party tonight with The Comic. In fact, I’m pretty sure I told him I would go with him a couple weeks ago. But, I’m flakey. And yes, that’s another fault I probably won’t ever work on. But I was tired from a long week of work and school. I don’t think I could have handled random people at a bar tonight. If some guy came up to me, I’d probably say “Look buddy. I had a long week. I saw pictures of a dead body at work today. The only thing I’m interested in is a foot rub and a shot of tequila. Are you going to give me either? No? Then keep on moving.” And, to be honest, if I even smell alcohol right now I’d probably pass out. THAT is how tired I am. So, being tired and cranky, it’s natural that I would go to the most crowded place on Earth (that really should be Disneyland’s new slogan), where I could stand in line for 40 minutes to finally get seated on a ride that breaks down the second we’re on it. Oh and the strollers constantly bumping into the back of my legs wasn’t annoying either. Man, I AM cranky!!
I had a great time at Disneyland though. But, if I’m serious about dating, maybe I should rethink my social choices. Tonight was Disneyland. Tomorrow I’m going to a martini party at The Newlyweds’ house. It’s going to be a lot of fun. I’m predicting it’ll be mostly married people or couples in general. Mrs. Newlywed’s sister will be there, and she’s fun and single, so at least I’ll have a partner in crime. Maybe others, I don’t know yet. But, I’m really excited for it. I’m excited to go hang out with a bunch of friends and chill and relax and party all at the same time. I think that’s the thing we single girls forget from time to time. It’s awesome to be able to do whatever you want whenever you want. Like, what if I was dating a dude and I couldn’t go because he’s really into playing Canasta on Saturday night. I’d have to be like “Sorry friends, I can’t come to your party cause I’m playing Canasta with my new dude.” I don’t even know what Canasta is! However, I doubt it’s as fun as hanging out with my friends tomorrow night! So, yeah, maybe I’ll be going home alone, but at least that’s the choice I’m making myself. And if I decide to take up Canasta, that choice will be all mine as well.
Ooh, another choice I’m making: giving my phone tomorrow night to It Girl before I have any martinis. Even though I’m all girl-powery/Spice-Girls/I-don’t-need-no-man right now, I still may find it necessary to drunk text someone just to say hi. I haven’t consulted the rule book yet, but I’m pretty sure one drunk text slip-up is forgivable. Any more than that and I may get my number blocked. One of my positive traits is that I’m a planner. So I’m planning ahead: It Girl, please take my phone.
And yeah, I did just throw back to the Spice Girls just now. So tell me what you want, what you really, really want.
Friday, September 18, 2009
gullible
I need a moment to complain about the people I work with. They are horrible and mean and evil. And, I say that with love, because I actually do love them. We're like a big family. But, let me tell you what just happened. So, here I am doing research on "searches incident to arrest." Exciting stuff, I know. One of the cops I work with gets a call and says "yeah, I'll be right over there." Then he says "Shoulder Holster is at my desk, I have to go see him. Wanna come with me?" And I say "That's odd, cause he doesn't work on Fridays." (It is NOT weird that I know his schedule.) The cop here says "I don't know. What's his last name?" And I tell him. And the cop says "Yeah, he's at my desk. Come with me." So, OF COURSE I jump up, ready to go. (And this time, I made sure my skirt is on correctly.) Then the cop laughs and says "You're going to give up In N Out for Shoulder Holster! That's crazy!" (Backstory: the Sergeant we work with went out to get us In N Out today. Yum!)
There you have it folks. I'd let my free hamburger get cold for a boy.
There you have it folks. I'd let my free hamburger get cold for a boy.
Thursday, September 17, 2009
Mix tape cures hesitation
Today I saw my work crush. He's this totally adorable detective who comes in about once a week to file cases (I told him that he's only allowed to file on Thursdays, since that's the day that I work, and so far, he has. Awesome!). We'll call him Shoulder Holster, since he wears a shoulder holster. And man is it sexy on him! I think my boss dreads seeing Shoulder Holster in the office, cause he knows I'll get no work done for the 45 minutes or so that he's there. I can't help it! I literally turn into a moron when he's aruond. I get serious diahrrea of the mouth. For example, today I decided to tell him about my obssession with wedding tv shows. And then realizing that may be a scarey thing for a guy to hear, I tried to counteract with "Not that I even plan on having a wedding. I think I'm more of a courthouse on a random Friday kind of girl. You know like, 'Hey, let's go grab In N Out and then go to the courthouse' type thing." All the wwhile I'm screaming inside my head "Stop talking!! For the love of Jebus!! STOP TALKING!!!" Why is my brain so much smarter than my mouth?? Oh, and of course this conversation was after I had to apologize for drunk texting him this past weekend. Why he still talks to me, I have no clue!
I hope he comes to my birthday party in a month. I mean, why wouldn't he? It's not like being at a bar with all of my friends to celebrate my birthday could possibly lead to me being awkward or embarrassing!
But, I'm sure I'm slowly chisseling away at any hesitation he may have. How is my social awkwardness not a ray of sunshine? Plus, I made him a mix tape (well, cd) a few weeks ago. Who doesn't love a mix tape?!
I almost forgot: right after he left, I realized I had my suit skirt on sideways. Yep. Twisted around completely sideways, so there was one fashion pocket (I say fashion pocket, cause they're sewn shut, and completely useless) on my left hip and one on my left backside, instead of both facing forward like a normal person would wear it. Oops.
Think he'll call?? :-P
I hope he comes to my birthday party in a month. I mean, why wouldn't he? It's not like being at a bar with all of my friends to celebrate my birthday could possibly lead to me being awkward or embarrassing!
But, I'm sure I'm slowly chisseling away at any hesitation he may have. How is my social awkwardness not a ray of sunshine? Plus, I made him a mix tape (well, cd) a few weeks ago. Who doesn't love a mix tape?!
I almost forgot: right after he left, I realized I had my suit skirt on sideways. Yep. Twisted around completely sideways, so there was one fashion pocket (I say fashion pocket, cause they're sewn shut, and completely useless) on my left hip and one on my left backside, instead of both facing forward like a normal person would wear it. Oops.
Think he'll call?? :-P
Mr. Big
Do you ever listen to Mr. Big's "To Be With You" and think "wow Mr. Big, you really know how to talk to a lady!"? Oh, you don't listen to early 90's one hit wonder hair band ballads? Yeah, I don't either.
Just for frame of reference: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=q6E4Cs2H-xE
Just for frame of reference: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=q6E4Cs2H-xE
free trial
I signed up for the free 7-day trial on match. When I originally registered a couple days ago, I merely did the free profile. But with a free profile, you can’t see the people who email you. All you see is “you have 5 emails” mysteriously taunting you. Sure, you can see the people who have winked at you, and you can wink back. But, that’s where the free perks end. That’s kind of unfulfilling. I want to see emails. I want to see the dashing, charming, intelligent men who have taken the time to do more than wink: they put pen to paper (so to speak) and actually used words and sentences. And if I’m lucky, correct punctuation! Oh match.com, you tease me with this free profile!
And, as The Comic said, if I’m going to commit to this experiment, then I have to commit and actually pay the 41 bucks. But as a broke student, 41 bucks is 164 packets of Ramen. That’s like 4 months worth of meals! That’s a lot of meals! He’s right though. If I’m going to commit, then I have to shell out the money. The problem is, I lack follow through. How do I know I won’t lose interest in this whole going on-line thing, checking who’s available, sending them a wink, sending an email, responding to a wink, responding to an email…. I’m tired already! So I decided to compromise and signed up for the 7 day free trial! It’s like match was made for me! Sure, it sounds cool today, but in 7 days, will I still be amused? If I am, cool, it automatically enrolls me. If I’m not, no sweat: simply un-enroll. Easy enough.
So with my 7-day free trial signed up, I decided to look at my emails. One of the guys had pictures of himself as a professional bodybuilder. I’m talking small blue Speedo and years upon years worth of muscles thanks to steroids. Next. One guy was 45. Next. One guy was practically illiterate (I know I’m an anal-retentive English major, but come on…if you’re trying to meet the girl of your dreams then use spell-check!) One guy was just blah. There was nothing really wrong with him. Just blah.
But the last guy. The last guy wins, hands down. I almost want to reply, because I admire the effort he put in. I almost want to turn my blog over to this guy, cause he is very creative. Well, in a “he doesn’t really make sense, but I appreciate the thought” kind of way. This is a direct quote (I seriously can’t make this stuff up!):
“Subject: Incredible, intriguing...
...induces increased iambic intimacy in Ikea incandescents. I know, my attempt at an alliteration is about 1k light years removed from world domination. It's too bad we live so far apart. Anyways, I just wanted to say hello! Happy trails.”
Yes, it’s too bad we don’t live closer. Cause THAT’S why we wouldn’t hang out. (Is there a rolling-the-eyes smiley?) Again, I appreciate the effort, but…come on!! Match.com, you have 6.5 days left to impress me.
And, as The Comic said, if I’m going to commit to this experiment, then I have to commit and actually pay the 41 bucks. But as a broke student, 41 bucks is 164 packets of Ramen. That’s like 4 months worth of meals! That’s a lot of meals! He’s right though. If I’m going to commit, then I have to shell out the money. The problem is, I lack follow through. How do I know I won’t lose interest in this whole going on-line thing, checking who’s available, sending them a wink, sending an email, responding to a wink, responding to an email…. I’m tired already! So I decided to compromise and signed up for the 7 day free trial! It’s like match was made for me! Sure, it sounds cool today, but in 7 days, will I still be amused? If I am, cool, it automatically enrolls me. If I’m not, no sweat: simply un-enroll. Easy enough.
So with my 7-day free trial signed up, I decided to look at my emails. One of the guys had pictures of himself as a professional bodybuilder. I’m talking small blue Speedo and years upon years worth of muscles thanks to steroids. Next. One guy was 45. Next. One guy was practically illiterate (I know I’m an anal-retentive English major, but come on…if you’re trying to meet the girl of your dreams then use spell-check!) One guy was just blah. There was nothing really wrong with him. Just blah.
But the last guy. The last guy wins, hands down. I almost want to reply, because I admire the effort he put in. I almost want to turn my blog over to this guy, cause he is very creative. Well, in a “he doesn’t really make sense, but I appreciate the thought” kind of way. This is a direct quote (I seriously can’t make this stuff up!):
“Subject: Incredible, intriguing...
...induces increased iambic intimacy in Ikea incandescents. I know, my attempt at an alliteration is about 1k light years removed from world domination. It's too bad we live so far apart. Anyways, I just wanted to say hello! Happy trails.”
Yes, it’s too bad we don’t live closer. Cause THAT’S why we wouldn’t hang out. (Is there a rolling-the-eyes smiley?) Again, I appreciate the effort, but…come on!! Match.com, you have 6.5 days left to impress me.
Wednesday, September 16, 2009
Jacob from Twilight
I was casually watching E! News tonight (if it has the word “news” in the title, it counts as informative journalism). I was actually working on printing out resumes and stuff for an interview which I have tomorrow, and just had the tv on in the background. Everyone knows that the best way to prepare for a law clerk position with the District Attorney’s office is by watching a show about the various goings-on in Hollywood!
Anyway, the show was about the kid who plays Jacob in the Twilight series. I don’t know his name, and I’m too lazy to look it up. I do know, however, that Jacob is the werewolf (by the way, I am definitely on Team Jacob! I think a werewolf could EASILY take a vampire any day! Now, get a zombie in the mix, and the whole dynamic changes). The story was about what this actor looks for in a girlfriend. Apparently he’s single, and the reporter asked what kind of girl catches his attention. I actually am embarrassed to say that I found myself listening attentively and making ticks on my mental checklist of which qualities I had. Friendly girls? I’m friendly. Outgoing girls? I’m outgoing! Smart and ambitious? Check and check! Oh my gosh! I’m a perfect match!
On what planet would I ever date a guy like him (read: famous actor)? Don’t get me wrong, he’s very good looking. I just can’t picture a real scenario where we would ever be at the same place at the same in a way which would allow us to meet. Does he live in my apartment complex? Probably not. Does he go to the same 24-hour fitness? I doubt it. Does he hang out at my school’s library? Ok, I don’t either, but that’s entirely beyond the point! I hate to admit that I fell prey to the vicious reporters at E! who get their kicks on making regular, average people think that actors are regular, average people who date regular, average people. This kind of belief was cute when I was 11 and thought that I had a chance with Edward Furlong (Terminator 2 was my favorite movie at 11. And don’t even get me started on how cute he was in Aerosmith’s Living on the Edge video!) I don’t care if he puts his pants on one leg at a time; we are different types of people. Not saying he’s better or anything: he’s just different. And I'm sure the leggy blonde model he ends up with will be friendly, outgoing, smart and ambitious. (Though, I would challenge her to spell "ambitious".)
And if you’re not different, and are in fact the kind of guy who dates nerdy law students, then I dare you to prove it, guy who plays Jacob on Twilight.
Anyway, the show was about the kid who plays Jacob in the Twilight series. I don’t know his name, and I’m too lazy to look it up. I do know, however, that Jacob is the werewolf (by the way, I am definitely on Team Jacob! I think a werewolf could EASILY take a vampire any day! Now, get a zombie in the mix, and the whole dynamic changes). The story was about what this actor looks for in a girlfriend. Apparently he’s single, and the reporter asked what kind of girl catches his attention. I actually am embarrassed to say that I found myself listening attentively and making ticks on my mental checklist of which qualities I had. Friendly girls? I’m friendly. Outgoing girls? I’m outgoing! Smart and ambitious? Check and check! Oh my gosh! I’m a perfect match!
On what planet would I ever date a guy like him (read: famous actor)? Don’t get me wrong, he’s very good looking. I just can’t picture a real scenario where we would ever be at the same place at the same in a way which would allow us to meet. Does he live in my apartment complex? Probably not. Does he go to the same 24-hour fitness? I doubt it. Does he hang out at my school’s library? Ok, I don’t either, but that’s entirely beyond the point! I hate to admit that I fell prey to the vicious reporters at E! who get their kicks on making regular, average people think that actors are regular, average people who date regular, average people. This kind of belief was cute when I was 11 and thought that I had a chance with Edward Furlong (Terminator 2 was my favorite movie at 11. And don’t even get me started on how cute he was in Aerosmith’s Living on the Edge video!) I don’t care if he puts his pants on one leg at a time; we are different types of people. Not saying he’s better or anything: he’s just different. And I'm sure the leggy blonde model he ends up with will be friendly, outgoing, smart and ambitious. (Though, I would challenge her to spell "ambitious".)
And if you’re not different, and are in fact the kind of guy who dates nerdy law students, then I dare you to prove it, guy who plays Jacob on Twilight.
schemes
So today I was on the way to school. As I turned off of my street, I saw three hot firemen** on the corner waiting to cross the street. Now, when I say hot firemen, I mean firefighter recruitment poster hot. Firefighter fantasy hot. Firefighter-themed porn hot. Hot.
I stopped at the red light staring at them, trying to think of how I could meet them. I could pull over and ask them a question: “How do matches work?” I could tell them that I’m a first grade teacher and that my class would love a private tour of the fire station, and then go beg a first grade teacher to let me borrow her class for an afternoon. I could crash my car and then they’d have to come running to save me. It wouldn’t be bad enough that I seriously hurt myself. Just bad enough that they’d feel the need to come to my aid. Before I had time to think my plan through, the light turned green and the guy behind me honked. I just looked like the dumbass chick who didn’t know how to drive. Sorry ladies, I may have perpetuated the stereotype that women can’t drive. My bad!
But, all my crazy ideas got me to thinking of all the crazy schemes I’ve come up with in the past to catch a guy’s attention. Here are a few of the better ones:
• I tried to start smoking because a guy I liked smoked. I thought it would impress him if I busted out with a pack of his favorite smokes. All it did was give me a sore throat and a horrible cough for a week. My friends still make fun of me for that one from time to time.
• I said I didn’t drink to a guy in AA. That cover was blown when my friends told stories about my drinking. Oops.
• A guy that I liked worked at a KFC about 40 minutes from my house. I went there and pretended that I had happened to be in the neighborhood. He actually and literally called me out on having driven there just to see him.
• Got a tattoo just because the tattoo artist was good looking. It hurt so bad I couldn’t even get it colored in. And, I am now forever marked with THE typical girl tattoo- a butterfly on my lower back. I guess I’m not very original spur of the moment.
• Planned a BBQ because for some strange reason I told this DJ at a club that I was having a BBQ, and he said he’d love to come. Again, I’m not so original spur of the moment.
• “You hate USC? I hate USC too!” (Listen closely. Do you hear that? That’s the sound of my father’s heart breaking and him writing me out of the will at the same time.)
I’m sure that my friends could list 1,000 more crazy schemes I’ve come up with. They never work out, but I don’t think I’ll ever stop trying to come up with them. I wonder if “crazy schemes to catch boys” is an interest I can put on my resume? I think I’ll ask Career Services tomorrow.
**Yes, I do recognize the humor in using the adjective “hot” to describe “firemen”, and did not intend for this. However, they were so hot that the part of my brain used for coming up with clever adjectives melted. :-)
I stopped at the red light staring at them, trying to think of how I could meet them. I could pull over and ask them a question: “How do matches work?” I could tell them that I’m a first grade teacher and that my class would love a private tour of the fire station, and then go beg a first grade teacher to let me borrow her class for an afternoon. I could crash my car and then they’d have to come running to save me. It wouldn’t be bad enough that I seriously hurt myself. Just bad enough that they’d feel the need to come to my aid. Before I had time to think my plan through, the light turned green and the guy behind me honked. I just looked like the dumbass chick who didn’t know how to drive. Sorry ladies, I may have perpetuated the stereotype that women can’t drive. My bad!
But, all my crazy ideas got me to thinking of all the crazy schemes I’ve come up with in the past to catch a guy’s attention. Here are a few of the better ones:
• I tried to start smoking because a guy I liked smoked. I thought it would impress him if I busted out with a pack of his favorite smokes. All it did was give me a sore throat and a horrible cough for a week. My friends still make fun of me for that one from time to time.
• I said I didn’t drink to a guy in AA. That cover was blown when my friends told stories about my drinking. Oops.
• A guy that I liked worked at a KFC about 40 minutes from my house. I went there and pretended that I had happened to be in the neighborhood. He actually and literally called me out on having driven there just to see him.
• Got a tattoo just because the tattoo artist was good looking. It hurt so bad I couldn’t even get it colored in. And, I am now forever marked with THE typical girl tattoo- a butterfly on my lower back. I guess I’m not very original spur of the moment.
• Planned a BBQ because for some strange reason I told this DJ at a club that I was having a BBQ, and he said he’d love to come. Again, I’m not so original spur of the moment.
• “You hate USC? I hate USC too!” (Listen closely. Do you hear that? That’s the sound of my father’s heart breaking and him writing me out of the will at the same time.)
I’m sure that my friends could list 1,000 more crazy schemes I’ve come up with. They never work out, but I don’t think I’ll ever stop trying to come up with them. I wonder if “crazy schemes to catch boys” is an interest I can put on my resume? I think I’ll ask Career Services tomorrow.
**Yes, I do recognize the humor in using the adjective “hot” to describe “firemen”, and did not intend for this. However, they were so hot that the part of my brain used for coming up with clever adjectives melted. :-)
Against my better judgment, I've decided to place this link on facebook. I only say "against my better judgment" cause there are a few "friends" I have on there who I wouldn't turn down if they asked me out. And baring my dating life (or lack thereof) isn't necessarily a turn on. But, I weighed the options, and I think I prefer notoriety and fans to those who already know me and have had the chance to ask me out, but have yet to do so. I like shy guys, but, come on man, grow a set! Anyway..welcome facebook!
Sidenote: I'm watching the show Cheaters as I type. Maybe I should rethink this whole "wanting to find love" thing. This show is sad!
Sidenote: I'm watching the show Cheaters as I type. Maybe I should rethink this whole "wanting to find love" thing. This show is sad!
Tuesday, September 15, 2009
Sunday dinner
I think I realized how single I was this past Sunday. There we were, sitting around the dinner table. It was the It Couple, the Newlyweds (an adorable couple who have been married a little over a year), the Baby-Talkers (ok, I’m sure there’s a better name for them, but nothing as appropriate. This is the couple who is ooey-gooey, lovey-dovey and while it’s kind of cute, makes you want to vomit just a little.) and the Stylist and myself.
The Stylist is this adorable friend of everyone’s (new friend of mine) who is fun and often the life of the party. She also has amazing fashion sense and is a working stylist on a tv show. I was stoked to have another single girl at the dinner party. For once I wasn’t the token single friend (as I often am in this group of friends). I don’t mind, I just sometimes wonder if it makes all the couples feel weird that I’m single. Always single. Always, always single. The Stylist was talking about a guy she met at a bar who she thought had potential to be a blossoming romance.
I couldn’t help but think about how many times I’d thought the same thing. It was fairly recently that I realized I don’t want to meet a guy at a bar. I’ve stopped going to bars hoping I’ll meet the man of my dreams. Bars are superficial by nature. You go there to drink with your friends; to hang out and have fun. Most men don’t go out hoping to meet the future mother of their children. (Sadly, woman are misled into thinking they can meet the future father of their children.) Sure, it happens. I have newly engaged friends who met at a bar. But, I think they’re the exception not the rule. Normally guys aren’t looking past that night. Definitely not beyond the weekend.
I think my other problem with bars lies more within myself. I am not a flirty person. I’m just not. It’s something I’ve come to terms with. I’m not good at talking to strangers at bars. I’m not good with sly glances or sexy come-hither stares. I need to be in a situation where a guy will get to know me and be like “Oh dang, I like her!” So, while I was excited for the Stylist meeting a nice guy, I’d be hesitant to ask if she talked to him again. And that night, it dawned on me. My couple friends were all going to share a bed with someone they loved that night. I was going home alone. The Stylist, maybe, would go meet up with that random guy if he called.
How have my options become alone or random guy? So, I’ve decided to try online dating. I’m always either at school, work or home. Where else am I going to meet a guy? I’ve ruled out bars. I like the idea of meeting someone in real life and feeling that spark, but I also like getting to know a guys personality and seeing if sparks can be created. I’m not ruling out real life, I’m just covering my bases. And, even though my profile has only been online for 1 day, I can already tell you I get excited when I read the email “so-and-so has winked at you”. Even if they’re ugly. Hey attention is flattering. Period. So here’s to seeing what happens. And in the meantime, happy reading.
The Stylist is this adorable friend of everyone’s (new friend of mine) who is fun and often the life of the party. She also has amazing fashion sense and is a working stylist on a tv show. I was stoked to have another single girl at the dinner party. For once I wasn’t the token single friend (as I often am in this group of friends). I don’t mind, I just sometimes wonder if it makes all the couples feel weird that I’m single. Always single. Always, always single. The Stylist was talking about a guy she met at a bar who she thought had potential to be a blossoming romance.
I couldn’t help but think about how many times I’d thought the same thing. It was fairly recently that I realized I don’t want to meet a guy at a bar. I’ve stopped going to bars hoping I’ll meet the man of my dreams. Bars are superficial by nature. You go there to drink with your friends; to hang out and have fun. Most men don’t go out hoping to meet the future mother of their children. (Sadly, woman are misled into thinking they can meet the future father of their children.) Sure, it happens. I have newly engaged friends who met at a bar. But, I think they’re the exception not the rule. Normally guys aren’t looking past that night. Definitely not beyond the weekend.
I think my other problem with bars lies more within myself. I am not a flirty person. I’m just not. It’s something I’ve come to terms with. I’m not good at talking to strangers at bars. I’m not good with sly glances or sexy come-hither stares. I need to be in a situation where a guy will get to know me and be like “Oh dang, I like her!” So, while I was excited for the Stylist meeting a nice guy, I’d be hesitant to ask if she talked to him again. And that night, it dawned on me. My couple friends were all going to share a bed with someone they loved that night. I was going home alone. The Stylist, maybe, would go meet up with that random guy if he called.
How have my options become alone or random guy? So, I’ve decided to try online dating. I’m always either at school, work or home. Where else am I going to meet a guy? I’ve ruled out bars. I like the idea of meeting someone in real life and feeling that spark, but I also like getting to know a guys personality and seeing if sparks can be created. I’m not ruling out real life, I’m just covering my bases. And, even though my profile has only been online for 1 day, I can already tell you I get excited when I read the email “so-and-so has winked at you”. Even if they’re ugly. Hey attention is flattering. Period. So here’s to seeing what happens. And in the meantime, happy reading.
Introduction
I guess I should start with an introduction of sorts. Who am I and why am I writing this blog.
Why I’m writing is simple: I need a place to vent about being single and having to hang out non-stop with couples! It’s a serious problem that affects 27% of women aged 27-38 in the US.**
Who am I? Well, I’m a 28 year old law student in Southern California. I’m a brunette in the city of bleach blonde bombshells. I’m a size 8 in the city of size 2s. I’m a jeans and t-shirt (and colorful tennis shoes) girl in a city of mini-dresses and stilettos. I’m an IQ of 115 in a city that doesn’t even know what an IQ score is.
You know how some girls need a boyfriend? They go from serious relationship to serious relationship, and it all seems so easy for them? I’ve never been that girl. Sure, I’ve had a few boyfriends. First, there was the high school sweetheart. He was the greatest: the kind of guy that if I had now, I would shoot another girl before letting her have him. But, at 17, it was too intense and I wanted to see what else was out there. Boy have I! The next real boyfriend was about 7 years later: the drywaller. He was sweet and loving and wanted to be married so bad. It just wasn't right. Next. My last boyfriend, wasn’t really a boyfriend. He was more of a tool who used me as a place to crash when he wasn’t out hooking up with other chicks. We’ll call him: the Manic-Depressive Alcoholic. And no, that’s not just because I’m bitter. It’s actually quite fitting, and anyone who knows him would likely agree. I wish him well in life.
Of course there were other guys thrown in. There was the Marine who I fell head over heels for the week before he left for the war. Believing life is a Jennifer Aniston movie, I remained hopelessly devoted to him while he was gone, dutifully sending him letters everyday. He ended things when he got back. Florida is too far away from California. Um, Iraq isn’t? It’s ok, I did my patriotic duty and he got home safe. There was a cop for a month. He was fun; didn’t want me talking to other guys and wanted me to be around for him, but then freaked out after a month and said he didn’t want a girlfriend. Yeah, I didn’t get that one either. Oh, and I almost forgot the struggling screenwriter. I was so in love with him for three years. He was deep and intelligent and beautiful (to me). He was a drug aficionado, which I use to politely describe a total pot head. At 21, I found it so dreamy that he would protectively tell everyone else that I didn’t do drugs when they would offer any to me. I think on some level he liked that I was pretty normal and square; the yin to his yang. I always thought we would end up together. But, he hooked up with about 7 of my friends, so I guess not.
Enough about the past. Let’s move on to the present. Let me tell you about the key players in my life now. We’ll start with my parents, who I partially blame for my singleness. They have been happily married for eons and eons (or, nearly 40 years!). College sweethearts who couldn’t wait to tie the knot. And they’re still happy and very much in love. And I think that’s the problem. It’s what I want, and I won’t settle until I find that special connection. My mom is strong and resilient and beautiful. No seriously, she’s a total hottie! She works more than most men, yet still does all the cooking and cleaning and taking care of the family. Sure, it’s frustrating when we hang out and she’s on the phone doing work the whole time, but, it’s all about give and take. And then there’s my dad. Daddy. Daddy darling. Oh man..I don’t think I ever called my dad “daddy” and I think he’d laugh hysterically if I ever did. He may be the greatest guy ever. He takes care of the whole family. He never leaves us wanting anything (not in a “Dad, I need that Prada purse now!” kind of way. But in a “Dad, I have a flat tire and don’t know what to do” or “Dad, I want to go to law school, can you pay?” kind of way). He’s not a sappy and emotional dad, and I love that about him. He’s more of a fix your problem and give his opinion on EVERYTHING kind of dad. He’s also the kind of dad who will tell you that you are leaking green ooze after a traumatizing 13 hour back surgery. Again, I’d have it no other way. My mom will be the one holding my hand and changing the bandages, my dad will be the one cracking jokes and giving me pain meds when I need them.
I have an older sister who is my best friend. She is the epitome of beauty and success. I used to describe her as a smart Barbie. I think all of the style and fashion genes were given to her, which is why I’m such a bad dresser. She loves dresses and heels. She spends time on hair and make-up. She’s also a vice president at a giant business mega-firm. She has a couple cars and a couple houses and a couple dogs. She doesn’t have a couple of boyfriends. Just one. And he’s a nice guy.
My little brother is great. I used to describe him as your typical Southern California kid. He surfs, plays guitar, plays soccer. He used to drive a truck. He went to USC. (Well, everyone in my family but me went to USC). He was in a frat. He’s an all-around good kid. He’s a bit of a party guy and goes everywhere with an entourage. But, his main guys are all good guys. They all work hard at their jobs, and party hard on the weekends. I try to keep up with my brother, and I can’t even come close. My brother always gives me good advice when it comes to guys: ditch the loser, there are plenty others out there. And he’s always right.
Then we have my closest friends at school. We’ll start with the It Girl. This girl just has it. She is just naturally very smart. She gets things so naturally. She has an insane work ethic and always has like 20 jobs and works so hard! She is so pretty and stylish. She just wears clothes so well and knows what looks good. Plus, she could sew her own clothes if she needed too. Oh yeah..of course the It Girl is also the next Martha Stewart. She can cook, sew, clean. She can whip up a 4 layer birthday cake or a mean pasta sauce like it’s nothing. I can barely microwave a bean and cheese burrito.
What is the It Girl without the It Boy? This guys is equally as smart. And he’s equally as hardworking. Firms compete to have him work there. And of course he has a very fascinating back-story full of guitar, travelling and groupies. It’s funny that with the It Couple, you can’t tell who is luckier to have who. Normally with a relationship you can say “yeah, he’s SO lucky to have a girl like her!” (or, maybe it’s just me who does that, cause I’m awfully judgmental?!) But, with the It Couple, it’s like they’re so equally matched that you can’t even picture them ever having been with anyone else. It would seem like I’m kissing their collective ass (and, I very well may be, since I spend so much time with them, that I’d hate to be uninvited to Sunday dinner!) but I swear I really am not. They really are the quintessential It Couple.
Next we’ll go to the Social Butterfly. She’s the fun, cute petite girl who everyone loves. She has a personality that’s larger than life and a laugh that is contagious. This girl is never wanting in the man department, as guys line up to date her. She almost has a hard time deciding which guy she wants to spend time with. She has boyfriends more often than not. She’s also the busiest person I’ve ever met!
My best guy friend is The Comic. He’s hilarious and has the ability to make everyone laugh. A lot of his humor is potty humor, which I think is why we get along so well. He is also a total chick and is all about romantic comedies. I have a hard time trying to convince him that life is not a movie and that sometimes we have to bring ourselves back to reality. I think I’m losing the battle though. I can’t wait til he does have some great love story and rubs it in my face that I was wrong. I sincerely hope that happens.
My best friend from high school recently married her soulmate. We’ll call them the Brits. She married a British guy and lives in London. I think I’ll never get her back in So.Cal. But, I guess that’s something I’ll come to terms with because she’s blissfully happy. Like I (cheesily) said at her wedding “I know what love is by the way he looks at her.” I can honestly say that their love makes me hopeful.
There are a lot more people who should be listed. I have a lot of good friends. But, this has gotten long enough. I’ll introduce the others as they come up in stories. Til then, happy reading.
**Most of the statistics found in this blog will be made up. They’re more for emphasis.
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