Little boy games

Yesterday was my parent’s 40th anniversary! 40! I can’t even believe it! I mean, that’s impressive, considering my mom has to put up with my dad’s dumb jokes and harebrained schemes and my dad puts up with my mom’s nagging. And they both had to put up with me. It just blows the mind! 40 years. I want 40 years. I want 50 years. My brother points out that 50 years is still possible. I’ll just be really old. I’d like to be able to enjoy my 50 years, not be in a diaper for most of them. But, with the way things are going lately, I’m lucky to make it to 50 days with 1 dude. Let me tell you how I spent my parents anniversary:

**Attention Sister: you can stop reading now, and just sigh and say I told you so. I’ll save you 3 minutes of your life**

So Baby Marine got back from the field on Saturday. I know this because of facebook. The wonderful world of facebook. He texted me Sunday morning and said he was back at work cause his Marines looked horrible and he was making them be in formation, or some weird military thing like that. I said welcome back to civilization (if 29 Palms can be considered that) and that I was glad the desert didn’t eat him. Later on I texted him that since his birthday is on Tuesday, I’d like to take him out for a birthday beer sometime this week. He responded that it was going to be a long week at work with him full of long days since his Marines performed so badly in the field. (I always think it’s funny when he talks about “his marines” cause he’s only a Lance Corporal. I mean, I guess that’s good cause you’ve been promoted a couple times, but it’s also kind of weird, cause it’s not that high and you’re still trying to work your way up the chain, but you still have to salute a ton of dudes.) I responded that that was too bad, and that we could raincheck it for another time if he wanted. He responds a couple hours later “Sorry, I can’t think week, but my roommate said he’d take you up on the beers, lol.” Um, yeah, I got from the first time that you said you couldn’t this week that you, in fact, couldn’t this week. But, thanks for the clarification? So, I decided to just call instead of text him back. His roommate answers and says Baby Marine is busy playing video games and that he (the roommate) would go out for beers with me. I say no thanks, the offer is nontransferable. He acts all hurt. Um, did he seriously think I would go out with him? A) that’s just weird. B) he’s some manager of an auto parts store. Seriously? So, I ask him to put Baby Marine on the phone, he won’t. I hang up. By now, I’m super pissed and want to know what the heck is going on. I know, I should have just said screw it and not called back, but when can I ever leave well enough alone?? So, I call back, and the roommate answers, but pretends to be Baby Marine. As if I wouldn’t know the difference?? I’m not retarded! So, he keeps trying to convince me that he’s Baby Marine, and I’m getting so pissed off and agitated. Are we seriously playing this game that 12 year olds play?? I’m almost 30 years old, and THIS is what I’m dealing with???? So I hang up again. Then I text him “Lose my number, you immature douchebag. I don’t have time for little boys and their games.” There were slightly more expletives in there. And, by slightly more, I mean like 20 more. Then I deleted his number and deleted him from facebook. Deleted him from my life. I really should have known better. My gut told me from the beginning that he sucked and that I shouldn’t trust him. It’s really my own fault for thinking that some 25 year old kid was mature enough to date me. I’m sure there are plenty of mature 25 year olds, I’m guessing they’re just not in the Marine Corps. I need to start dating older guys, and professional guys. That’s what my new plan is. My mom wants me to date my brother’s new buddy/neighbor. He has to be around 35 or 36, and just got hired on to work for Homeland Security at the airport near my house. He is covered head to toe in tattoos (literally, covered…as in, his knuckles have tattoos) which is why I was surprised that my mom would even consider him. She almost had a heart attack when she discovered my 1 discreetly placed tattoo. But, the funny thing is, this guy was a Marine like 12 years ago. Ok, so possibly I do have a type. I met the neighbor once, but it was when TB was here, and I was sidetracked by being all in love with TB. He’s a bigger guy, and normally I like shorter and super skinny guys (though, lately I’ve been going to stupid muscly Marines). But, maybe I should trust that my mom knows what she’s talking about and seriously consider my brother’s buddy. Then again, my brother is super protective, and I don’t know if he’d even let me consider his buddy. I may see them all on the 4th of July. We’ll see what happens.

Oh, and speaking of TB, I may have, in my anger, sent him an email yesterday blaming him for the douchebaggery of Baby Marine. Well, not blaming him for that specifically, but blaming him for being the dumb one who forced me to go back into the dating pool, when we were so good together and had such a promising future. If he hadn’t freaked out, I wouldn’t have had to go through this. I totally blame him!