will i ever learn??

They say old dogs can’t learn new tricks. Maybe I’m an old dog, cause I can’t learn the new trick of not dating Marines. Ok, that was a stretch, I know. Let’s just please move on. I’ve been moping around crying for a couple weeks now. I’ll have a couple good days of “screw that bastard!!” followed by curling up and crying on my sofa. I’ve been weak and pathetic. I guess that’s normal when you break up with someone, but I still feel weak and pathetic. I really wish I could be the strong kind of girl who could just be over the dude and not care. But, I’m getting there. I thought maybe hanging out with the Cop didn’t go as well as I’d hoped cause it was just too soon. But, I’ve come to the realization that it didn’t cheer me up cause it’s not the right situation. Here’s how I came to that realization: I met a new guy. Ok, so I went online to see if TB had been online. I discovered he had, and it broke my heart. Something good came of it though. Because I was online, this cute guy saw my profile and he sent me a smile. I smiled back. Then he emailed me. I emailed back. We emailed back and forth a few times. Then yesterday when I was writing him back, he imed me. We spent 4 hours chatting on im. It was so much fun! We exchanged numbers and he told me to text him if I was bored. I said ok. I decided not to text him, at least not right away. Maybe in a few days I’d send him a text. I didn’t have the chance to wait, cause he texted me about 45 minutes later saying he couldn’t stop thinking about me and how he really enjoyed our chat. We then texted back and forth for about 3 hours. Then he called me and we talked on the phone for 2 hours. I don’t think I’ve laughed as hard or smiled as much in a long time. The conversation was fun and easy. But, we also covered some serious things, as he thinks it’s better to get all of the dirty secrets out in the beginning so that the other person will decide if they still want to stick around. I believe in that theory as well, but then again, my dirty secrets aren’t all that dirty. His, well, he has some dirty secrets. First it started with the fact that he used to party a lot and did a lot of drugs. Ok, that’s kind of not that shocking. I know a few people who have done/still do lots of drugs. I mean, not that I support drug use, but I wouldn’t hold that kind of a past against someone, as long as they’re clean now. I won’t date druggies anymore. He’s a Marine, so I don’t think that he can be a druggie now. The next big secret is that he has a child. I knew that one, cause I saw pictures of his kid on facebook (oh, I forgot to say that he added me on facebook yesterday). His son is 15 months old and absolutely adorable. I like kids, and I’m not certain that I ever want to have my own kids. If I ever had kids, I’d probably adopt. And, he has a son, so hopefully he’s good on procreating. (I guess if I was with a man who really wanted his own children, or more, then I’d consider it at that point.) His son lives in Ohio with the mom. Which leads me to point three. He’s divorced. Well, he’s actually twice divorced. He got married really young and was married for 9 months. And then his second wife, he married her because she got pregnant. He tried to do the right thing, and they just didn’t work out. They’d only known each other for a few months when she was pregnant. They stayed together for almost 2 years, but decided in the end that they should split and she should move back to Ohio. She’s already dating someone new. A cop. She sounds like a girl after my own heart: Marines and cops. I don’t mind him having a kid. But, the ex-wives, that seems like a HUGE red flag!! But, he was also straight forward about it and wanted to make sure I knew so that I could decide if I was ok with it or not. He said that he also doesn’t want me to think that he rushes in or out of things, but that he made some stupid decisions, and he tried to make them work, but they just didn’t. He also said that the next girl he even thinks about marrying, he’ll live with for at least 6 months before to make sure that they’re compatible. I think that’s a good idea. I mean, living with someone is a lot different from spending a lot to time together. I think that you are never truly comfortable with someone if it’s “their space”.

So, that’s all the dirty laundry which he aired. I told him about my back problems and my slight limp. He seemed ok with that. Is it sad that that is basically the extent of my dirty laundry?? I told him about my drinking days and leaving college in the middle, but compared to his drug use and the fact that I’m a recent law school graduate, I don’t think it was that dirty of laundry. After 2 hours, we hung up. He said he’d call me tomorrow. Then, about 30 minutes later he texted me “wow! Really enjoyed taking 2 you 2day! Kinda anxious for 2moro so I can call you again. Sleep good hun.” So cute right?? But then I think “wow, he said the same kind of things to at least his 2 wives.” Though, the good thing is that he hasn’t had a lot of girlfriends, I suppose. He’s been too busy being married. Is being married for 9 months really that different from having a serious girlfriend or living with someone? I dunno. This morning he texted me and has been texting me from work. He even texted me to tell me that he was going to the gym and that he’d hit me up later. He says that he likes to spend all of his free time with the person he’s dating, which is good. And you know I don’t mind all the texts. I just don’t know if I need another Marine in my life. But, the fact that he’s close is nice. He’s stationed in 29 Palms. Ok, so not close, per se. It’s still 2.5 hours away. But, it’s closer than North Carolina. I really think the only problem with TB and I was that he was in North Carolina. Maybe this will be better. I think that I’m going to be cautious about this one. I’m hoping that he’s cool in real life and that we’ll hit it off. I won’t meet him for a couple weeks, cause he’s going on a 12 day training mission. That’s fine with me, cause I need to focus on the Bar anyway. At least the Bar is going to force me to take it slow. The Comic says I need to take things slow, and I know that I do. I just don’t really know how to. But, I’m going to try. I’m going to not be so available and focus on my priorities and my friends, and see how things go with him. Besides, I still don’t know if I should just run the other way now. I think for the sake of the blog, I should see this one through. I don’t know.

Oh, and did I mention that he’s 25? Well, he turns 26 on June 29th. But, yeah, I’m almost 30. I’m such a cougar!!!! But then I think about the Adorables, and how Ms. Adorable is 30 and Mr. Adorable is 23. And they are the most perfect and adorable couple ever!!!! So, maybe age is just a number. That’s what this guy says anyway.