disneyland

I had a realization into my singleness tonight. Here it is a Friday night, and I was home by 11:15pm. Oh, I went out alright. I met up with a couple girlfriends, and we went out and had a blast. Where’d we go, you ask? We went to the happiest place on Earth. Yep, I spent my Friday night at Disneyland! Don’t get me wrong. It was a lot of fun! It’s just, am I really going to meet anyone dateable at Disneyland? Maybe if I was 15. There were lots of acne-ridden, droopy pants wearing nearly prepubescent teens there. Or, maybe if I was looking to date a dad. There were lots of men with kids. The strange thing is, most of the dads were married, or at least there with their significant others. Yet, when the woman turned her back, devoted dad would smile or wink or something creepy. Ok, this happened like once. But, still. Ew. I wouldn’t mind dating a man with kids. It’s just that I would prefer him to not be married or dating someone already. I’m not so into the whole polygamy thing. For starters, I’m a very jealous person (something I say I’ll work on, but probably never will). And also, I would look horrible in those long, shapeless dresses. I’ve seen documentaries on polygamist cults. I know what the ladies have to wear, and I am so not down with that. Though, having sister-wives would be nice in sharing the household chores (I would gladly take dish duty if I never had to scrub another shower or toilet). But no, don’t think I’m going to become a polygamist any time soon.

There was one dad (I’m assuming) who was alone with a kid who looked about 9. The kid looked nine. Not the dad. There was no ring on his finger, and no woman around. We made eye contact a few times. But, something happens when I make eye contact with a guy. You know how you’re supposed to smile and look friendly and approachable? Yeah, I don’t do that. I think I probably frown and look angry. “Don’t even think about looking at me again” is what I picture my expression to be. I don’t mean for it to happen. I just feel cheesy smiling, and I don’t know how to be subtle. Then my awkwardness manifests, and it’s all over. Plus, how do you hit on a guy with a kid at Disneyland. “So, have you seen Mickey yet?” Or the classic “Come here often?” It’s either “No, I’m from Nebraska” or “Yeah. I have a season pass.” And where do you go from there?

I had the option to go to a party tonight with The Comic. In fact, I’m pretty sure I told him I would go with him a couple weeks ago. But, I’m flakey. And yes, that’s another fault I probably won’t ever work on. But I was tired from a long week of work and school. I don’t think I could have handled random people at a bar tonight. If some guy came up to me, I’d probably say “Look buddy. I had a long week. I saw pictures of a dead body at work today. The only thing I’m interested in is a foot rub and a shot of tequila. Are you going to give me either? No? Then keep on moving.” And, to be honest, if I even smell alcohol right now I’d probably pass out. THAT is how tired I am. So, being tired and cranky, it’s natural that I would go to the most crowded place on Earth (that really should be Disneyland’s new slogan), where I could stand in line for 40 minutes to finally get seated on a ride that breaks down the second we’re on it. Oh and the strollers constantly bumping into the back of my legs wasn’t annoying either. Man, I AM cranky!!
I had a great time at Disneyland though. But, if I’m serious about dating, maybe I should rethink my social choices. Tonight was Disneyland. Tomorrow I’m going to a martini party at The Newlyweds’ house. It’s going to be a lot of fun. I’m predicting it’ll be mostly married people or couples in general. Mrs. Newlywed’s sister will be there, and she’s fun and single, so at least I’ll have a partner in crime. Maybe others, I don’t know yet. But, I’m really excited for it. I’m excited to go hang out with a bunch of friends and chill and relax and party all at the same time. I think that’s the thing we single girls forget from time to time. It’s awesome to be able to do whatever you want whenever you want. Like, what if I was dating a dude and I couldn’t go because he’s really into playing Canasta on Saturday night. I’d have to be like “Sorry friends, I can’t come to your party cause I’m playing Canasta with my new dude.” I don’t even know what Canasta is! However, I doubt it’s as fun as hanging out with my friends tomorrow night! So, yeah, maybe I’ll be going home alone, but at least that’s the choice I’m making myself. And if I decide to take up Canasta, that choice will be all mine as well.

Ooh, another choice I’m making: giving my phone tomorrow night to It Girl before I have any martinis. Even though I’m all girl-powery/Spice-Girls/I-don’t-need-no-man right now, I still may find it necessary to drunk text someone just to say hi. I haven’t consulted the rule book yet, but I’m pretty sure one drunk text slip-up is forgivable. Any more than that and I may get my number blocked. One of my positive traits is that I’m a planner. So I’m planning ahead: It Girl, please take my phone.

And yeah, I did just throw back to the Spice Girls just now. So tell me what you want, what you really, really want.