Sunday dinner

I think I realized how single I was this past Sunday. There we were, sitting around the dinner table. It was the It Couple, the Newlyweds (an adorable couple who have been married a little over a year), the Baby-Talkers (ok, I’m sure there’s a better name for them, but nothing as appropriate. This is the couple who is ooey-gooey, lovey-dovey and while it’s kind of cute, makes you want to vomit just a little.) and the Stylist and myself.

The Stylist is this adorable friend of everyone’s (new friend of mine) who is fun and often the life of the party. She also has amazing fashion sense and is a working stylist on a tv show. I was stoked to have another single girl at the dinner party. For once I wasn’t the token single friend (as I often am in this group of friends). I don’t mind, I just sometimes wonder if it makes all the couples feel weird that I’m single. Always single. Always, always single. The Stylist was talking about a guy she met at a bar who she thought had potential to be a blossoming romance.

I couldn’t help but think about how many times I’d thought the same thing. It was fairly recently that I realized I don’t want to meet a guy at a bar. I’ve stopped going to bars hoping I’ll meet the man of my dreams. Bars are superficial by nature. You go there to drink with your friends; to hang out and have fun. Most men don’t go out hoping to meet the future mother of their children. (Sadly, woman are misled into thinking they can meet the future father of their children.) Sure, it happens. I have newly engaged friends who met at a bar. But, I think they’re the exception not the rule. Normally guys aren’t looking past that night. Definitely not beyond the weekend.

I think my other problem with bars lies more within myself. I am not a flirty person. I’m just not. It’s something I’ve come to terms with. I’m not good at talking to strangers at bars. I’m not good with sly glances or sexy come-hither stares. I need to be in a situation where a guy will get to know me and be like “Oh dang, I like her!” So, while I was excited for the Stylist meeting a nice guy, I’d be hesitant to ask if she talked to him again. And that night, it dawned on me. My couple friends were all going to share a bed with someone they loved that night. I was going home alone. The Stylist, maybe, would go meet up with that random guy if he called.

How have my options become alone or random guy? So, I’ve decided to try online dating. I’m always either at school, work or home. Where else am I going to meet a guy? I’ve ruled out bars. I like the idea of meeting someone in real life and feeling that spark, but I also like getting to know a guys personality and seeing if sparks can be created. I’m not ruling out real life, I’m just covering my bases. And, even though my profile has only been online for 1 day, I can already tell you I get excited when I read the email “so-and-so has winked at you”. Even if they’re ugly. Hey attention is flattering. Period. So here’s to seeing what happens. And in the meantime, happy reading.