match update

How about an update on my match.com experiment? Well, it’s been a few days. So far, mostly weirdos have been emailing or winking at me. There was one guy who was ok. His profile was pretty amusing. But, his emails were pretty boring. It’s like these guys put all of their energy into their profiles, and try to come off as witty, but then they feel like they don’t have to put in effort to the emails. He wasn’t nearly as funny as I’d hoped. After only 2 emails back and forth, which were random jokes and nothing of substance, he asked if he could have my number or if we could meet for coffee. I haven’t even found out what he does for a living, let alone what his name is! How awkward will that be? Trying to meet someone when I don’t even know his name? I ran this by my newest girlfriend, the Detective. She’s this totally badass, tough and beautiful detective I met at my work. She’s a total ball buster though, so I joke around that she’s gonna toughen me up a bit. Boy could I use toughening! Like, if I had known her when the Manic Depressive Alcoholic and I broke up, there’s no way she would have let me sit around moping for a while. She would have kicked my ass into gear, and made me get over it. And, I would have done it, cause, she carries a gun. Not that my other friends didn’t try, cause Lord bless them, they did! But again…she carries a gun. So I was talking to the Detective about this random dude asking me out to coffee, and she said “coffee isn’t a first date, it’s an audition. Drinks means he’s too busy for love and dinner means he’s in love.” I kind of agree with her.

But, as I went on tonight to get some funny messages that I’ve gotten (well, I think they’re funny, though I don’t think they were intended to be received that way), I found an email from a guy who may actually be interesting. A high school teacher. I think I could dig that. He has a love for Chuck Norris, and appreciated that one of my pictures on my profile is of me doing the robot. When creating my profile, I figured that any guy who I will date has to be aware that I love the robot. If he doesn’t understand that, he won’t ever understand me. I think that’s why only the weirdos email me though. Maybe I should have thought that through though. I guess the robot is something I could have brought up on the second date. That’s good to know for future endeavors. In my email back to the teacher, I said “Did you know that when Chuck Norris bleeds, oak trees sprout up from where the blood fell?” I mean, I do know the 400 facts about the world’s greatest human. Chuck Norris holds a special place in my heart, so I kind of dig that High School Teacher loves him too. Then again, who doesn’t? How could you not love Walker Texas Ranger? I don’t think it’s humanly possible, unless maybe you’re communist. They’re just afraid of Chuck Norris. A guy who loves Chuck Norris and appreciates the robot: do I hear wedding bells??

I think overall, my experience on match hasn’t been anything to make me want to shell out the 41 bucks for a real membership. I’d rather go visit Little Sister on Tuesday and get $10 designer jeans (Little Sister is a designer for a major label, so we’re going to buy samples and stuff) instead of paying to get random emails from random guys. If High School Teacher writes me back and I’m still amused by him, I may give him the fake email address I created to sign-up on match with. Well, it’s not a fake address, in that it does actually accept emails and it is actually mine. But, it’s not my normal email address I give to people I know, or even the one I put on resumes. (I have 5 email addresses, all for different reasons) I think it gives me a feeling of accomplishment to have to check so many different inboxes. However, they’re usually all just full of spam. And it’s more of an inconvenience than anything else. One of these days, I may consider consolidation.

Oh, and while I was reading the email from High School Teacher, a guy who emailed me 3 days ago (who I never responded to) imed me. But, in the hopes that it would be a fun story for the blog, I responded. And, he actually ended up being pretty cool. We chatted online for a couple hours. It was overall a pretty fun conversation. I did tell him that if we met and hit it off, I would deny having met him online. He asked if our first date could be watching True Blood Season 2. That’s especially odd, because the Cop wanted to watch True Blood for our first date. Was there a man rule that came out in 2009 saying that True Blood is the best idea for a first date? I told this dude that we could hold that off for several dates (if we make it that far), and maybe do something more neutral, like go to the Fun Zone and play arcade games. I don’t want just a coffee audition.