helping friends through breakups

One of my girlfriends, the Detective, just broke up with her boyfriend. Well, he randomly broke up with her a couple weeks ago, and she’s been dealing with the breakup aftermath since then. It’s funny, cause I can kind of relate. They were together and things seemed fine, and then one day he calls her out of the blue and ends things. They were together for like 9 months. They were talking long term, marriage, retirement, moving in together. She had a trip planned for his birthday and already had the tickets and whatnot. And then, boom. He’s done. It’s just like TB. She and I are completely different though. She told him to f-off, and that they could be friends, but she’s over it. But, then she’s telling me she’s upset that he didn’t fight for her and so he obviously doesn’t care. See, I go the “why don’t you want me?!?!” route with a guy, until I get over it and flip the switch. Like, I cared for a while about TB and begged him to reconsider. He didn’t. I’m done. She tells the guy she’s over it, but gets pissed he doesn’t fight. I don’t think either is the right answer, I guess. I think the thing to do is really just tell the guy you’re over it and mean it. Though, that’s a lot easier said than done. Like, everything I’m telling her is what I know to be true, but I wouldn’t/didn’t follow my own advice when I broke up with TB. She told me the same things I’m telling her now. “You’re too good for him”, “He’s missing out”, “Someday he’ll realize he ruined a good thing!”. You know, all the things you say to your friends when some d-bag breaks their heart. She hasn’t cried though. She’s not a crier. I still cry sometimes when I think about TB. It still makes me sad. Granted, it’s not as often, but I still get sad. That’s why I had to cut ties. I can’t keep thinking about him. I want to talk to him still. But, I can’t. It’ll interrupt my otherwise impressive rebound dating scene. Oh wait. I’m not talking to anyone right now. Oh yeah. It’s just hard to see a friend go through this. It’s sad. And, it’s sad to see that many guys say things they don’t mean. Or, maybe they do mean it at the time, but then they get scared by it. And she’s saying the same thing I said: how does he go from texting me all the time everyday and always talking to me, to absolutely nothing. Guys do that. They all do that. TB did that to me. ATC did that. The Marine did that. Baby Marine did that. The Cop did that (though, to be fair, the Cop did that while we were dating: when he was home in Virginia after we first met, I talked to him all day everyday and it was awesome. Then he got home and we barely talked, though that’s when we started hanging out. You can’t get a girl to think she gets to talk to you all the time, and then tell her you’re busy and can’t, and expect her to just accept that. Ok, maybe you can with some girls. Just not with this girl. His excuse was that he was on vacation and had time, and that he couldn’t when he was working. Um, I work too. I know how it is to be tired and busy. Yet, I still find time to contact people. Yes, maybe it wouldn’t be as often, but I’m fine with quality over quantity. Text me on your lunch break to say hi. Or when you get home to say you’re tired but were thinking about me and can’t wait to see me soon. It’s surprising how far something cute like that can get you. The Cop just confuses me. I really don’t get him. He seems to enjoy hanging out with me, then I don’t hear from him for weeks. Then yesterday he responds that he can’t hang out on the 4th cause he’s working. I say I can be convinced to hang out a different time. He responds “Thanks sweetie. I appreciate it. ” If someone has a Cop to English dictionary, I’d greatly appreciate it. My girlfriend Veggie Girl (I don’t know if that’s going to stick or not. For some reason I can’t think of the perfect name for her. But, she’s a vegetarian, so I guess that works) said that he mom said it’s him trying to be cute and that he doesn’t know when we can hang out, but that I should take it as a positive sign. Hmm. Perhaps. Or, it could be a nice blow-off. I think I need to stop analyzing everything and looking for signs and just go with what is there: no definite plan to hang out. So, I’m not going to keep my hopes up that I’ll be seeing him soon. If he does call and want to hang out, then it’ll be a nice surprise. If not, then I won’t be surprised, cause I won’t have over-analyzed things. No more going by what guys say. I’m only judging based on actions at this point. He wrote back. Good action. 1 point. Now we’ll see if he has any follow through. In the meantime, I need to study anyway. And deal with the Detective, cause she’s texted me 3 times since I’ve been writing this. Oh speaking of, I did suggest to her that she date the Cop. They know each other- work together. Actually, him ending things with me last year is how she and I bonded. I said that he doesn’t seem interested in me, and that maybe they’re better suited for each other- they both like space and only want to see their significant other like once a week, or maybe even less; they’re both cops; they both…ok, I think that may be the end of their similarities. But, those are good similarities. She said that he’s like a brother to her and she’s not attracted to him. Oh well, I tried to help him out. She’s hot. He could do a lot worse. Of course, she’s also super tough and crazy, and I think she would eat him. And I don’t mean sexytime eat him. I mean, I would need to represent her in jail eat him. Maybe that’s the kind of law I should focus on: representing women who kill their boyfriends/husbands. “Your Honor. Guys suck. She had no choice and was doing a public service.” The judge would say “You’re right. She’s free to go. Case dismissed.” And then we do a slow motion jump high five. I think there’s something there I should look into. Oops, 4th text. I gotta go.