3 hot paramedics walk into a store...

Why am I so bad at dating?? Or at flirting?? Or at anything remotely game related?? So, this morning I ran out to get a birthday card for the Newlyweds, since it’s their joint birthday party today. I went to CVS cause it’s across the street and actually has an amazing card selection (CVS, feel free to sponsor me since I’m giving you a shout out here). Anyway, so I’m there with wet hair cause I just showered (go me) and in my warm up pants and a law school sweatshirt, cause that’s basically all I’ve been wearing while studying. I think I’ve almost forgotten how to wear real clothes. So, when I’m parking, I see three hot paramedics walk into CVS. I’m stoked. I decide not to stalk them though, but can’t help but wonder where they are in the store. I glance at the snack aisle, but they’re not there. I don’t want to look down the medicine or diapers aisles, cause that’d be a bummer. I definitely don’t look down the make-up aisles, cause I wouldn’t want to see them there. I go to the card aisle, and there they are! Two are looking at this hilarious card, so I laugh and say “that card is pretty funny.” It was an “action” card where this little dog humps a guys leg. It’s not like I stood there reading over their shoulders. Awkward. So, one of the guys is like “Oh yeah, look at this one.” It was really funny. So, then he says it’s funny but you’d probably have to an inside joke to make it worth it. (he seemed nervous to be talking to me too) I said “My friends are big pervs, so they’d think it was funny.” Sorry to Mr. and Mrs. Newlywed for throwing you under the bus, but it was a kneejerk reaction, and like I said, I’m a horrible flirt. So, then I tell the guy “It’s 7 dollars. I don’t know if it’s 7 dollars funny though. Maybe 5 dollars funny.” And he says “Oh man! That is expensive.” But then the older of the 3 come up and he gets all shy and quiet. And then they walk away, not sure where they went. So, I take my two cards and go to check out. I see them walking out. And then they stop near the door talking and look over. I’m prideful enough to think they were talking about me. So, they leave. Then I pay and leave, as they’re walking back from their paramedic truck. I’m nervous and don’t make eye contact. But, then two of them at different times look back at me. They go to the hardware store next to CVS. I get in my car and leave. But, then I decide to Evel Knievel it and make this crazy U-Turn and go back to the parking lot. I go into the hardware store hoping to run into them. A kid who works there and asks if I need help finding anything. Instead of saying “Yeah, can you help me find 3 hot paramedics” I say “Can you tell me where the nails are located?” For some reason, nailing was the first thing that popped into my head upon seeing 3 paramedics. Go figure. So, I go to the nail section, cause I figure that’s totally legit and if anyone asks, I can say I need to hang pictures. Plus, they’re only $1.79. And who doesn’t sometimes have a use for nails? So I don’t see them, and don’t want to make it obvious I came back to see them, so I take my nails and go to check out. But, the chick says they’re 5 bucks. I’m not 5 bucks invested in this scheme, so I tell her sorry, but nevermind. I don’t want to pay that much for nails. I leave the store empty handed. No nails or nailing. But, I was proud of myself for making conversation with the hot paramedics. I toyed with the idea of leaving my card on their truck, but what would I write “To the blond guy with the dirty ‘stache, call me. This is the girl with the frizzy, wet hair and ratty sweatshirt.” Yeah, I decided to just let that one go and chalk it up to practice. Or, maybe I’ll start going to CVS everyday hoping to run into him.