Saturday, May 29, 2010
sucky day
a couple days ago i was a happy, happy girl. today my heart is broken. tb broke up with me. apparently he just realized that we don't live near each other, cause his reason was that he can't handle the distance. i pointed out he's handled it for 5 months. that didn't seem to matter. my brother told me to sever all ties and not talk to him. i told him i don't have the choice, cause he won't respond to me. i think he had a mini-break down and thinks for some reason he's bad for me while i'm studying for the bar. it girl and my sister think i need to give it some time and he'll come around. i'm not so sure. they told me to hold off on canceling my ticket to north carolina for after the bar. i'm only holding off cause i know i'll break down in tears while on the phone to cancel it. i don't want to hold on to any hope, cause i know i'll just be disappointed. he's not going to go back on this. i just know it. i wish it was different. if i'd known he couldn't handle it, i would have looking seriously into moving there. it's just dumb, cause it's not indefinite. he's planning on moving here soon. in january! and..he's the one who found me and persuaded me to do the long distance thing. i don't get it. so lame! but, at least the blog is safe. i guess i'll start dating again in a couple months after the bar. i don't gave the energy or desire to start any sooner. my heart hurts.
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Oh no, how did he change so much in two days? I hope you are ok. I've been reading your blog avidly and thought things seemed great despite the distance. Hopefully he will realise what he is losing and come round xx
ReplyDeleteYeah..I thought things were great too! haha I don't think I'll talk to him again. I called him and texted him a couple (ok..maybe slightly more than a couple...) times and no response. I have no idea what happened to make him change his mind. A couple days before we were talking about kids and moving in together and all that. I don't know if it's because his friends are in crappy marriages (on Thursday he said his roommate always says "Don't do it man!!") or if it's because he has no clue what he's doing with his life (if he's staying in the Corps or what). He won't talk to me, so..who knows. I haven't cried in 5.5 hours so that's a good sign. Anyway...I'm glad you've been reading and hope you've been enjoying my hi-jinks so far! I'm hoping that TB won't be out of the picture, but..I'm not holding my breath.
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