weightloss

I have a question: where is the line between a boyfriend being supportive of a girl losing weight and just being mean? TB is super supportive of me losing weight, because I brought up that I want to be in better shape. He encourages me to workout by telling me which body part to concentrate on when lifting weights. (For example, the other day was “delts” day, and I thought I would workout my shoulders by punching him in the face for suggesting it. But instead, I did real weight workouts, and was in so much pain for the next 3 days. Apparently sitting on the sofa watching tv and playing on facebook do not workout my shoulder, excuse me, delt muscles very much). He’s also really cute, cause whenever I prance back after a workout like a giddy 5 year old showing off her newest macaroni art project, he encourages me and says how proud he is of me. Or, when I tell him he can shove his workout plan where the sun doesn’t shine, he tells me that he likes me the way I am, and that it’s me who wants to get better. I hate when he uses sweet logic! But, I have to admit, it’s the perfect motivator. His motivator is looking at his muscles in the mirror to see what he likes, and what he wants to work on. I use his being proud of me to encourage me to get my lazy butt to the gym. I guess whatever it takes is good, right? So in addition to going to the gym, I’ve been trying to eat healthier. Trying is the key word there, as I fueled up on In-N-Out so I could write this blog. But, mostly it’s been this amazing whole wheat pasta with a smidge or pesto, spinach and tomato for dinner, and whole wheat bread with avocado, tomato and basil for breakfast. Oh, I’ve also been eating quinoa with shrimp, snow peas, and asparagus. I feel better when I eat healthier. Like right now my stomach feels like it has a lead ball in it. Tomorrow it’ll be back to my wheat regime. But, again, I feel like being healthier is just going to be better all around, and it makes TB proud of me, which is the added icing on the cake. Mmmm. Cake. Oops, I guess I’m still learning to work with this whole diet thing. But, while TB is so nicely supportive, where is the line? I had a girlfriend once who wanted to lose weight and get in shape because she was doing a charity triathlon. We all went out to a club one night, and went to a diner afterwards at 3am. She was going to order something pretty unhealthy (like a cheeseburger or cheese fries, or something cheesily delicious) and her new boyfriend said “Are you sure you want to eat that this late at night?” See, I thought that was really nice of him. Very considerate. A) he said it really nicely. Not “I can’t believe you’re going to stuff your fat face, fat ass!” That’d be mean. But, he gently reminded her she shouldn’t eat that. B) She was pretty drunk, and didn’t have the same control she had when she was sober (yes, I understand that I shouldn’t be talking about a person drinking when they are trying to be healthy. But, I don’t think a few drinks every once in a while is too bad. And, this girlfriend had a very, very low tolerance. 2 drinks and she was puking.) C) SHE wanted to be healthy and SHE wanted to lose weight. Her boyfriend didn’t want her to lose weight. He didn’t think she needed to change. She was beautiful the way she was. SHE was the one who wanted to get in shape for the triathlon. Again, I thought there wasn’t anything wrong with what he did. But man, my friends wouldn’t let him live it down. (Well, I don’t actually think they said anything to him or her about it, but they would talk and talk and talk about it when he wasn’t around) They all thought he overstepped by telling her not to get the [whatever food it was]. They thought he was insensitive and rude. I thought he was being helpful and sweet, and was really just looking out for her best interest. I know that if she were sober she wouldn’t have ordered it. And, when he pointed it out, she didn’t order it. Even in her inebriated state, she knew he was right. So, where is the line? Is there a line, or is it best that a guy doesn’t even bring up weight or weightloss out of fear that the girlfriend or her friends will jump all over him as some heartless and cruel dictator? I think sometimes it’s nice to have a food Jiminy Cricket to help one out when self-control is low. And, some girls need the encouragement of their boyfriend to help motivate. In any case, I think that TB is doing it right by being nice and supportive and not being judgmental or making me feel bad about life. He doesn’t make me feel bad about the occasional slip up with fast food or cake. And he lets me know that he likes me exactly as I am, and that anything else will be added bonus. It’s like reverse psychology: he’s ok with me the way I am, so I want to be better for him; at least the best me that I can be. That damn Marine is too smart!