Delete

I’ve created a new rule. When I am no longer talking to a boy, delete his number. Seriously. No good can come from having his number anymore. Either I’m going to be good and not text/call him for a long time, in which case, why still have it, or I’m going to be weak and find reasons to text him. More likely than not, it is the latter case that will happen. Why would I need the number still? If I get a flat tire, is he the first person I’m going to call? Probably not. If I need a blood transfusion, would he be the first on my list of potential donors? Doubtful. I have enough people who have proven themselves worthy of being on those lists. Sorry friends, but if you’re my friend, you’re the ones who would receive those calls. Well, it’d go: Mom, Dad, Sister, It Girl, the Comic, Brother. I think those are my faithful, go-to in time of need people. Those are the people that if I fall down and can’t get up, I’d call. They’re the people that no matter what, I know I can count on, and they can always count on me in times of need. No matter what. Like, if there were a fire, I’d rush in to save them. (Well, to be honest, I’d probably rush in to save a complete stranger if there were a fire, but that’s just cause I have this dang bleeding heart that wants to fix and/or save everyone, regardless of whether it hurts me in the process.) The Detective might go on that list soon too, cause she’s a really true and loyal friend. Plus, she can arrest people for me! That’s a great trait in a friend! But, the point of the story is, I don’t need to keep the number of a guy I’ve stopped seeing. Really, nothing positive can come out of my having it. The lawyer in me likes to try to argue my way out of breaking up (if it’s not my decision). But why? Arguing is most likely not going to change his mind. A cleverly put together power point presentation on my values and virtues and why dating me is such a great thing will not make him want me back. (Not that I’ve done that…) He either knows already how awesome I am, or he’ll never realize. Calling or texting after is only going to make me look weak or pathetic. And, if a guy wants to try to work it out, he’ll call. I’ve seen and read He’s Just Not That Into You. I know how it is. And I have friends who realized they were wrong about a break-up and tried really hard to get a girl back, even if they think it’s pointless. I’ve recently gone through my phone and deleted the numbers of guys I’m no longer seeing, or of guys who I really just have no interest in talking to ever again. They’re all gone. Well, except for the Cop. I’m going to keep his number, cause a) you can never have enough cops’ phone numbers (come on, I’m a single girl living on my own! You never know!) and b) we got along pretty well, and I think someday we could be friends. But, even with the Cop, I had to delete it for a while because I didn’t trust myself to not call him. But I found it on my desk at work when I was cleaning it off (from the sticky note where I first got it) and I figured it was safe enough to keep it now. But the new policy is to not write it down; not keep it at all; not to have it in my possession. If the guy wants to call and text me, maybe I’ll respond. But that decision will be made on a case by case basis and up to me. No more putting myself out there or seeming eager or desperate. Cause while I think I’m being cutely persistent or sweetly aggressive, I’m going to call it like I see it: pathetic. And while I am neither admitting nor denying any recent gratuitous texting, I am saying that this decision includes (maybe most importantly) my most recent suitors. Delete. No harm or ill will intended but delete nonetheless. Delete.