my last day at work

So my birthday present to myself was quitting my job. Ok, that’s not entirely true. My present to myself was a cute coat. But, being the spoiled girl I am, I like many presents. So I also quit my job. I actually didn’t want to quit. It just so happened that I had to quit on my birthday. It made me sad having to tell them I wouldn’t be coming back. I love my job! It’s such a great office, and I get so much experience! My boss is so nice that he saves all of his work until the days when I’m there and lets me do just about everything! He’s so giving! But for real, he was an amazing man to work for. He was patient with me when I messed up, and quick to give me credit when credit was due. But the reason I’m most sad to leave is that I’m bummed to be leaving the cops. No, not the cute cops who come in for court (though, yes, that bums me out A LOT! That was the highlight of my whole day to be honest) but the cops that I worked with. My office was attached to a LAPD liaison unit who worked with us exclusively. They helped the lawyers with making sure that the cops came to court, among other things. I refer to the whole unit as “the cops”. The office was kind of divided into “the cops” and “the lawyers”. I spent a lot of time with the cops, because in the beginning, when I first started working there, they were so kind to me and let me use their computer (I didn’t have a computer where I sat, yet I had to do research and write briefs. I brought my own laptop to write briefs, but researching on the internet was still impossible). So I spent a majority of my work day on their side. The plus to that was that I was able to talk to many officers and learn all about the wonderful work they do (yes, I am very pro-LAPD). That’s actually how I met The Cop. He was there one morning and we chatted and one of my co-workers hooked the whole thing up.

The cops brought me into their family. That’s really what it was: a family. We laughed, cried, argued, and laughed some more, just like family. We had lots of shenanigans too. It was always a good time, and you never knew what would happen.

First and foremost, there’s the boss, my work mom. (Sorry, Sarge, but we all know that my work mama is the head of the office.) She is this feisty, wonderful woman who is possibly one of the most compassionate and caring people you will ever be lucky enough to know! She has worked for LAPD for decades as a police dispatcher. She is loyal to the department, even though she may not agree with a lot of their newer policies. She is outspoken and will definitely let you know what she’s thinking. And many sentences are punctuated with the word “whore”. “Come here, whore.” “Shut up, whore.” Family is the most important thing to her, and I feel lucky that she liked me enough to bring me into her work family. Oh, and did I mention that she’s the biggest germ-a-phobe on the planet and that she bought special germ killing antibacterial spray for me for when I fall down and scrape my knees (since I’ve been known to do that from time to time). She promised to stay on the lookout for me for any cute cops now that I’m gone.

Next, we’ll go to my favorite female cop. We’ll call her the Fun and Fearless Cop. She is one of the funniest people I’ve ever met in my life. She can turn any situation into something hysterical. (I’m thinking of several situations which I don’t translate well, but if she’s reading this she’ll understand: “I can’t be bothered to turn my head around. It is beneath me to look behind me!” or “Good day! I said good day!”) She is truly beautiful inside and out; one of those people who you just want to be around because you know she’s so naturally amazing. She has been through a lot in her life, which still amazes me when I think about, and yet is the first one to be up for a sky diving trip or bungee jumping. She is so much fun, but holy crap can she be scary when she turns on her serious cop stare. I hope to never be on the receiving end of that look!

The last of the ladies is one of the most gentle, good-natured, spiritual, and loving women I have ever met. She is patient and caring and always had profound words of advice for me when I came to her with my problems. She taught me a lot about trying to be patient (which I know is my biggest weak point). She is also a firm believer that God has a big plan for me, and that I just need to let it work itself out. I try to remember that every time I get frustrated or impatient.

Now for the boys:

First, the “real” boss of the office. (It’s in quotes because, again, we all know my Work Mama is in charge) The Sarge is one of the most interesting people I’ve met. He just looks like a cop. Seriously. When you think of a Sarge, you would picture this man. He’s tall and thin and has a moustache. He’s also very good natured (one of the common threads that runs through the office) and treats everyone who works for him so well. He is easy going and even tempered. He brings in food for everyone who works for him, and started including me in that, which was awesome! He’d go to In N Out and bring burgers for everyone, myself included. Oh how I’ll miss In N Out days! He’s also very compassionate towards animals. I think he loves animals more than people. He has a one eyed cat with diabetes who he treats better than most people treat their human children. Granted, a one-eyed cat with diabeted probably deserves to be treated better than a human child. Poor kitty!

Next there’s our computer tech cop. He’s not really the computer guy, but he seems to know how to fix all of our computer problems. And I tend to break computers a lot, so that’s a bonus! He’s big on hi-jinks. For example, I’d left a picture of myself on one of the computers which I’d sent to my girlfriends (in preparing for my first date with ATC, I’d sent a picture of me in a certain shirt to my girlfriends- including The Comic- to decide if that’s the top I should wear. My dumb ass forgot to erase the picture, and of course it was used in a later prank.) and it’s now the wallpaper on one of the computers with a caption that says something about how glad I am to finally be 18. Thanks. He is one of the most chivalrous men I’ve ever met. For example, yesterday they took me out for lunch. He went and got the car, met us at the door, and then dropped us off at the door upon our return and then went to go park the car. Most people wouldn’t go through that hassle. He’s so thoughtful. But, my favorite thing about him is that he’s always happy and smiling, even when I’m asking him to track down a police log from 6 years ago.

Then there’s the big guy. This man is the quintessential strict father with a great sense of humor. He loves his family more than anything in the world and would do anything for them. That being said, he is also an authoritarian and things are his way or the highway. For example, one of his daughters (yes, he has all daughters, which makes it even funnier!) threatened to run away when she was real young (I forget exactly how young, but want to say like 9). So, he says “go ahead, but why are you packing? This is all my stuff.” And then he put her out of the front door and closed it on her. Hey, some people may think that’s tough love, but I bet she’ll never try to run away again! There are so many fun stories from him about his family (like the time one of his daughters said she was going to be a vegetarian. Yeah, you don’t say that to a man who lives on a farm and slaughters his own animals!). I always wondered if he thought I was slightly crazy, but then I realize that he thinks everyone is slightly crazy, so I’m ok.

Finally, there’s my work best friend. I call him that since he always made fun of me for calling everyone my best friend and then trying to explain the different categories of best friend. So, he’s my work best friend. This guy is the guy that sitcoms are based on. (In fact, we’ve been working on a sitcom based around him) He’s the goofy, fun guy who makes the work day a lot more fun. He’s quick to crack jokes about anything and everything, including himself. He’s very thoughtful and caring and remembers things though you don’t think he’s even paying attention. He has a beautiful wife and three kids, and proudly displays their pictures on his desk. He works a million jobs and a million hours, but is still always good humored. The joke at the office was that I actually worked for him, since we were always together. But, hey, who else is going to escort me down stairs so I can buy my daily diet Dr. Pepper? Though I’m going to miss everyone equally, if you ask him, I’ll miss him the most. I probably wouldn’t disagree, since he was my work best friend, partner-in-crime, buddy. And, I’ve almost forgiven him for being the one who set me up with The Cop.

I thank you all for making my time at the office so amazing and enjoyable! And, though you think I won’t still come by to hang out, you know that I could never go for very long without seeing any of you, and will be stopping by to say hi! Plus, you promised you’d be at graduation and start the wave. I’m expecting you to keep that promise. And to find me a new cute cop.