irrational

Women have it pretty tough. We are the ones who have to have babies. We have to fight harder in the work place for equality and respect. We have to stay in shape and look hot to keep the attention of men. We have to have brains and talent while also knowing how to cook a casserole and iron a shirt (Ok, I don’t know how to either cook a casserole or iron. That could be why I’m still single.) We have a lot of hard responsibilities. I’d like to know why the Universe (or God, if you will. It Girl gets made when I replace “God” with “Universe”, even though I mean it in the same way) thought it was a good idea to add another hardship upon us. Every month, girls go crazy. Something hormonal happens, and it’s like we lose sense of reason. “Give me chocolate or I will MURDER you for looking at me!” We know what we’re doing. We know we’re being ridiculous. We know we wouldn’t normally cry over the sappily sentimental Campbell’s soup commercial, but we can’t help it. In fact, we say that very thing. “I know I’m being ridiculous. But, I’m PMS-ING!” It’s our excuse. The thing is: it’s not an excuse! We really can’t control the emotional roller coaster. And, I hear it gets worse when we’re knocked up! My best friend, Mrs. Brit, is having a baby any second now. I talked to her the other day, and she said she literally threw a temper tantrum. It was a full on foot stomping, I’d-better-get-my-way tantrum. And you know what it was over? She wanted a cookie and a coke, but they didn’t have any. Her wonderfully patient and devoted husband ran immediately to the store to get her a box of cookies and 2 2-liter bottles of coke. Tantrum quashed. The point is, she knew that she was behaving like an illogical child, but she couldn’t help it. Why, Mother Nature, must you torment us so? Why can’t we be sane and logical all the time, and men be the ones who overreact? I guess maybe it’s easier to be the person having the hormonal roller coaster ride than being the one who has to deal with it or bear the brunt of it. But, still. Wouldn’t like be easier if there were no hormonal overreactions or sensitivities? Oh, and forget about when a couple girls on the same cycle are in the same room. You’d better run for cover!

Here’s the reason for my recent insight: I may have overreacted with New Marine. He started this 6-week class this week. It’s called Sergeant School, or something like that, and he has to go through it to get promoted. He has to be there at 6am, and is busy all day. He had to run and work out for like an hour and a half, and then be stuck in class the rest of the day. By the end of the day, he’s super tired. I’m super supportive of him, and excited that he’s going through this. I offered to help him in any way possible. I said that when I was rational. All week he was good about still texting me when he had breaks or at the end of the day. I was with my parents and didn’t get good phone reception at their house, so it was hard to have an actual phone conversation. Thursday we talked for a while, but I cut the conversation short so he could get back to studying. I figured we had the weekend to talk. Friday I was at Disneyland with It Couple (I HEART DISNEYLAND!!) and I called him while I waited as they went on a ride. He was asleep. It was 7pm his time. Poor guy. Saturday morning he texted me like clockwork. He was stressed about studying. We texted periodically throughout the day. I told him I’d be around whenever he wanted that night for a Skype date. That date never happened. He texted me something about watching tv, and I lost it. Ok, I didn’t get like really mad. But, I was bummed. He’s too busy to talk to me, but he has plenty of time to watch TV and play on Facebook? I played the passive-aggressive role, and he could sense through my texts I was upset about something. Then he asked if I wanted to Skype, and I told him he should just go to bed. He agreed with me. Wrong answer! This poor guy stands no chance when I’m hormonal! Again, I wasn’t yelling at him or anything. I just told him I was bummed that he couldn’t make time for me. Yeah, while I was texting that to him, I knew that he’d actually texted me all day and talked to me a lot. I realized the irrationality of my actions. But still. I want it all. In my defense, it’s hard being in a “long distance relationship.” I mean, not that we necessarily are, but kind of. I’m not going to see anyone else until I meet him. So, I mean, are Skype dates really that much to ask for??

Cut to this morning. He texts me “good morning, beautiful :)”. I respond all passive-aggressive again. It Girl comes over to study with me, and I fill her in on everything. She agrees that maybe he just doesn’t get it and that I should talk to him. She thought his excuse was BS too. He said he knew I was studying and didn’t want to interrupt me. I pointed out that I always dropped whatever I was doing to talk to him. I make time for him whenever he wants it. So, it’s not like I wouldn’t have paused my Community Property studying to talk to him. (hmmm, did the double negative work there? I almost confused myself there. I would have paused.) He said he was trying to be considerate. I think he was just exhausted and being lazy. But, is talking to me really that hard? I guess it is if he’s tired. In my rational head, I know this. In my PMS-ing/hormonal head, I was bummed. He hurt my feelings. Maybe on a normal day I wouldn't even think twice, but in this case, I was real bummed out. In law there's a term called Eggshell Plaintiff, which means if you cause an accident with a really sensitive or fragile person who gets hurt really bad, when a normal person wouldn't have, you still have to deal with what you get. I'm like the Eggshell Girlfriend. Sometimes I'm especially sensitive and fragile, and if you hurt me, then you have to deal with it. Lucky boy.* Oh! And! I can’t even have chocolate to make me feel better, cause I gave it up for Lent! I blame my irrationality on that! Well, after talking to It Girl, I was able to gain some perspective, and I realized that I needed to just tell him what was wrong. He apologized for making me feel like he didn’t have time for me, and explained that he was just busy with the class all week and tired. I told him that I understand he’s busy during the week, but that I’d appreciate it if he could try to make time to have actual conversations on the weekend. He said he’d make more time for me all around. And then all day today he texted me. Right up until 7pm (my time) when he went to bed. He really is just the sweetest thing. He keeps talking about how excited he is to come out here. I’m pretty excited too. I just need to remember to keep the crazy in check next month: I don’t know how often he’ll put up with me being irrational and sensitive.

*This all makes sense as to why I date Marines, or other macho men: I need someone who can actually handle me. A real mans man who can take me on. Sissy boys need not apply. I should have been a cavewoman. The caveman would just hit me on the head and drag me around. I guess Marines are as close to cavemen as one gets.