dear blog

Dear Blog.

I owe you an apology. I’ve been holding out on some stories. If you forgive me, I promise to never withhold again, and to catch you up. I’ve had a secret profile on a free online dating site. I didn’t mean anything by it. I just thought I’d put it up and see what happened. It was done out of sadness over the Marine ditching me, not because I wanted to meet someone and not report it to you. I just didn’t think it warranted being mentioned, cause I really didn’t think I would talk to anyone seriously. Really. I just didn’t want to waste your time. Well, I’ve met someone. And now I knew it was time to fess up and explain. Please see my attached letter of explanation.

Sincerely Yours,

Single Girl


Ok, so I’ve been on this free dating site. I didn’t really have much desire to start talking to people. On the one hand, I’m really hoping things work out with the Marine when he gets back. And I need to focus on school and the bar in the meantime, and don’t have much time to devote to dating. On the other hand, I’m single and young. And who really wants to be alone? I’ve been using my alone time to really do some soul searching. I think it’s been good for me. I’ve realized some things about myself. Like, I can’t get mad at other people for things I do myself. I can’t be mad at my friends who have boyfriends for flaking, when I do the same thing myself. I mean, maybe not to the same extent, but I do sometimes. I need to maintain my separate identity and have time with my friends when I date a guy. It’s ok to say I can’t hang out with him cause I have my own life. I think he’d respect me more. Who is attracted to a doormat with no life who is always around at their beck and call? Not me. So, why would I expect a guy to like me when I act like that? Just doesn’t make sense. I’ve also realized that when I’m pushing for someone to like me, I’m actually just pushing them away. Plus, why would I want to convince someone that they like me? Shouldn’t they just know? I’m kind of a catch. I don’t need to beg someone to be interested in me. And if they’re not, I’ll just move on to the person who is; the person who realizes what a catch I am. And, saying I’m a catch doesn’t make me conceited. It makes me honest and observant.

Now onto the good stuff. So this site does wonders for the ego. I seriously get like 10 smiles a day, and a few emails. I’m extremely popular on here, which is great. Denying people makes one feel awfully good about oneself. I’ve been talking to a few guys. Just having fun talking to them; getting to know them. I’ve narrowed it down to 2 guys I actually like. Ok, well 1 guy who I actually like, and 1 guy who I just started talking to who is intrigued. The first guy is a Marine (Shocking. I like a Marine.) This guy is an enlisted Marine- a Sergeant. He’s originally from California, which is cool. He’s stationed in North Carolina, which is not cool. We’ve only been talking for a few days, but he’s so attentive. Like, he texted me all throughout the Super Bowl yesterday, even though he was hanging out with friends. And he emailed me a bunch today from work. Oh, and he added me on facebook (which is funny, cause I just got done talking to some girlfriends about how facebook spells disaster for new relationships, and you shouldn’t add a guy until you know him well and things are serious. Things are too easy to misconstrue or misunderstand when you see things on there and don’t understand. Like, there’s pictures of him with a girl. Who is she? Are they dating? Does he wish they were dating? Have they kissed? Do they hang out? I don’t need to have this added stress on top of getting to know him!) But, the fact that he added me on facebook was cute. I’m having fun getting to know him. And, I’m putting my new learned things into practice. Like, I let him initiate contact. And..well I don’t know if I don’t get mad if I don’t hear from him, cause I always hear from him. Like, today I woke up to an email from him. He must have emailed me right when he got to work. (Cute!) I’m not exactly sure what he does for the USMC, but it’s some kind of desk job. I think we’ll call this guy NC, since the Marine is already taken. Nothing will probably come of me talking to a guy who lives on the other side of the US, but it’s a fun distraction. And he’s said he’s going to take a trip out here to see me. We’ll see if that actually happens.

The other guy is a fireman. Sold. He used to be LAPD. Even better. Yeah, you read correct. He used to be a cop, and then became a fireman. If he started out as a Marine, he would be the perfect man! We’ve been talking a little bit for the past couple of weeks. Nothing too much. Like an email a week. But then last night he asked for my number. Today I sent it to him, and he immediately texted me. Then he called me. But, I was getting ready for school, so I decided to just let it go to voicemail. I called him later and left a voicemail telling him he could call me back after 5 when I’m out of class today. He seems pretty cute. And he’s a fireman! Did I mention that? Well, he said he’s actually going back to LAPD, cause there’s too much down time as a fireman. Our texts were cute and flirty. Not too aggressive, but not too “friends-only”. And he alluded to hanging out more than one time, which is cute. I don’t even know that guys do that and get a girl’s hopes up. Don’t refer to hanging out again in the future if you have no desire to. In this case, it’s not a big deal, cause we haven’t even met in real life yet, so who knows if we even click. But, I’m just saying. It can be annoying. He wants to hang out and grab drinks. I’m kind of putting that off for a bit, cause I’ve been sick for a week, and I think I need to get better first. I mean, unless a runny nose and raspy voice is sexy? Who isn’t intrigued by a hacking cough? Sexy.

Anyway. Those are my updates for the day. I think the universe is rewarding me for all of my soul searching and attempts for making my life better. And for ending things once and for all with ATC. Oh, that’s right, I haven’t mentioned that yet either. I’ll save that story for next time.